Hooked
by CarlyS123
Summary: After the death of Sirius and learning the meaning of the prophecy Harry starts taking drugs and drinking during the summer to forget about the life he has to return to after the holidays. Now back at Hogwarts. Takes a few chapters to get into and not really a cliche fic
1. Chapter 1

**Hooked **

_**Summary: **_This story takes place during Harry's 5th year summer holidays (after Sirius dies) and is about how harry deals with his death and the pressure of being the 'Chosen One'. This story is mostly about the drugs but will include some other plots.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Child abuse, drug abuse, fairly bad language, mild violence

**A/N **Up to the 5th book this story pretty much follows all the books so there are no major changes. The only change I have is that Harry doesn't wear glasses; I think he looks better without them.

**Chapter One **

Harry Potter was lying down in his small and simple bedroom at number 4 Privet drive. He was staring up at the ceiling with dull glazed eyes as though unconscious (which he was bordering onto) while feeling the euphoric high turn into numbness and feeling empty. Next to him on his bed was a lighter and a small bowl filled with ash.

The numb feeling was starting to wear off already and onto the next stage of fatigue where his body started aching. Harry couldn't even begin to describe how his life had come to this. Sirius's death had been a massive blow to his already messed up life. Not only had Cedric died because of him, but then Sirius had to die too, the only person he could ever think of as a father. Harry couldn't stop thinking about everything he had done for him from eating rats to see him to defending him to that bastard Snape and generally being there when he needed advice. And how had he thanked him? By getting him murdered just because he was too damn stupid to see Voldemorts' trap. Then there was the prophecy that was eternally binding him to this whole situation that could result in hundreds of lives being lost. He needed an escape.

He had this fear and claustrophobic feeling that had been gathering in his chest since he had come back to Little Winging and he needed to get out and do something. This was not helped of course by having to spend the summer with the Dursleys who for years have been yelling at him and using him as a servant with the occasional bout of violence. Although, now it was better; now he was older they couldn't boss him around or 'rough him up a bit' as much. He is now also bigger and stronger, probably due to the fact he had being working out in his room for hours on end for months now to get rid of the restless energy that had been building up. However this still didn't stop the few drunken fights with his uncle and his aunt treating him like dirt but he was powerless to do anything as he knew he would be kicked out if he fought back.

All these feelings of anger and repression made him wonder off out of Little Winging into the not-so-nice parts of Surrey. He'd done it before during his childhood. He'd sneak off bored and walk the 15 minutes to the park that edged onto the West hill Estate and hang out there. He'd made numerous friends there over the years when his was a child that would come and go never really sticking around, they were just strangers seeking comfort like him.

A few days after he got back from Hogwarts for the summer holidays, after he had recovered from the initial 'welcome home' from his Uncle after half the order had confronted him at the train station (fat lot of help that did), he started walking to this park that he hadn't been to in years. He was numb and sort of shocked after everything that had happened at Hogwarts and felt like he just needed to get out the house. After his 5th year at Hogwarts he was left with so many feelings, emotions trying to push through at once that it left him feeling empty and jittery. He hadn't even noticed where he was until he found himself on the tattered swings of the old park he went to. That's where he met Davy and the gang. Just a bunch of kids his age drinking. It was 1am and Harry had sneaked out after one of his regular nightmares that stopped him from going back to sleep, Sirius falling through the arch, Bellatrixs' laughing face and Voldemort's threats. He lit a cigarette from a packet he stole from Dudley on the day he came back, he needed some release, he just needed to feel something. He felt kind of like he wanted to hurt himself, like his body deserves to be punished. Davy and his three mates were already pretty drunk and saw Harry sitting alone on the swings. They saw him sitting there with a bandage around his wrist and his bruised face and asked if he was okay and if he would like to join the party. Usually he would have politely declined and walked off, but after the year he thought why not?

They all just sat there in the park and drank themselves into oblivion. The group included two guys, Davy and Will and two girls called Lucy and Summer. Harry had never really drank much before; maybe a beer or two he nicked from his uncle after watching him getting trashed, but he had never drank as much in his whole as he did that first night in the park. Bottles of cheap vodka and beer just seemed to vanish and weed was being passed round the group until they had all passed out. From then on he had regularly met up late at night when Harry couldn't sleep and sometimes even in the day when he could sneak off from the Dursleys. They introduced him to a whole new life. A place where he could escape with people that understood what it's like to not have a family. He enjoyed their company a lot, especially Davy and Summer's. Davy wasn't like anyone Harry had ever met before. You could tell he was a tough guy yet he still came off very approachable and was probably one of the funniest people he'd ever met. Out of everyone in the group he got on with Davy the fastest. Summer sort of reminded him as a more self-aware version of Luna which was kind of comforting. Lucy was a pretty and quite maternal girl who people knew not to get on the wrong side of and Will smoked more weed than he ate food so was pretty chilled out most the time.

In a way he felt relieved to be with more mature and similar people to him, he was starting to get sick of Ron and Hermione's letters constantly trying to get him to talk about Sirius's death. In the past few weeks he felt as though he had changed a lot after everything that happened in the last year, him being practically tortured by Umbridge, professor Snape's Occlumency lessons and then the department of mysteries... He liked being stoned to the point where he can't stand up or speak properly because that way he could forget about everything. He started out on light stuff like weed and vodka, but then the group introduced him to cocaine which was apparently as common as drinking beer in West Hill. He'd never felt so happy in his life. In a matter of seconds he would leave behind his tired and miserable self and be energetic and have fun. He didn't have to worry about being hated by his 'family' and being punched by his uncle or even being murdered by death eaters, he could just have fun again. And this night was no different.

He was a month into his holidays and it was 11.15pm. Harry had already had a hit and could feel himself coming down. This night he hadn't even bothered trying to get to sleep first, his back hurt too much after a last night where he presumed he must have fallen off something or banged it, he could never really remember. The heroin was a new thing for Harry. He didn't really think about what he was taking, Davy had offered it to him a week ago and said it would really get him going. They shared some and it was the best high he had had this summer so far and he'd just finished the left overs now in his room which he wasn't sure was a good idea or not. He got up and out of bed and blankly stared at himself in the mirror. Although he had gotten slightly more muscles, he was thinner and paler. He noticed he looked like a totally different person. He had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep and he had a bruise again on his right cheek. This particular bruise had surprisingly not been from his uncle but in fact a fight he had gotten into the other night when he and the gang went into town and some guys started harassing Summer, so he and Davy ended up getting in a fight with them and did quite well considering he didn't have much experience like Davy did. Harry had never really gotten in a fight like that before but with so much drugs and vodka circulating his body it made him feel better, like he was getting something out of his system.

He went to the loose floorboard near his bed and put all of his 'stash' there. If his nosy aunt ever caught drift of any drugs in her house he doubt he would ever make it back to Hogwarts. He put some Lynx spray in his jacket pocket for later and got a packet of cigarettes out and lit one in his mouth. He made his way to his bedroom window, opened it and carefully stepped out onto the roof under him and jumped down onto the lawn and started walking over to the park feeling relieved that soon he'll feel better.

"HARRY!" shouted a figure standing on the parks old roundabout.

Harry laughed seeing Davy already drunk with whisky bottle in his hand dancing around the park. He made his way to the corner of the area where the rest of the group was drinking (though not as much as Davy) and smoking stuff that was probably a lot stronger than cigarettes. But before he made it there Davy came running up to him and jumped onto Harry's back.

"Harry's here everyone!" he slurred

The group just laughed watching Harry trying not to fall under Davy's weight.

"Davy, at least get me drunk before you try and molest me" he said

"That can be arranged" he said jumping off Harry and staggered over to the bench Lucy and Will were sitting on where all the drinks were.

"Catch!" Davy shouted while chucking a bottle of vodka at him. Harry, having quick reflexes from playing Quidditch caught the bottle before it hit him in the head.

"As you can see Davy is already off his head" stated Will looking amusedly at Harry who just grinned back.

"No kidding, I plan to join him" he replied with a smile

"That's the spirit!" said Davy "Cheers!" he said while banging bottles with Harry.

Harry swigged the bottle and lit up another cigarette and sat down with summer.

"How've you been Sum's?" he asked her, already feeling the effects of the alcohol on his empty stomach and he was still not fully down from his previous high from earlier that night. Out of everyone in the group he found Summer the easiest to talk to, she was quirky and funny and probably had the worst upbringing of the group yet she never seemed to show it. He admired her a lot for that.

"Alright" she said sleepily back, the liquor always hit her hard "Went to see Mike again today, he seems to be doing better"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, prison ain't too bad for him now seeing as it's his 3rd time in"

"Guess it would get easier" he replied

"Yeah, well he's family, well half family anyway, need to stick together. Especially now..."

Harry glanced at Will and tried not to laugh. They both thought Summer was funny when she was high.

"What do you mean especially now?" Harry asked

"You know... the bad economy..."

"Yeah, of course" he replied smiling

"Yeah well the recession hit everyone Harry" started Will now also smiling at Harry "Even the crack dealers" They both laughed

"You want any?" Will asked Harry while rummaging through his pockets and then handing him a small bag of white powder.

Harry took the bag and took a pinch of the white powder and put it onto the back of his other hand and snorted it. Harry couldn't believe how easily some of these 'dangerous' drugs seemed to be available in this part of town. He remembered the old antidrug videos they used to show in primary school of some dodgy guy with a load of tattoos standing in a rough alley way selling these little bags to ill looking teenagers. Yet here he was now with a bunch of other average kids his age snorting coke off a park bench having the time of his life.

They carried on what Will called 'self medicating' until Harry, Davy and Summer finally collapsed around 4am. At 6 Lucy woke up from her semi conscious state and started shaking the others awake.

"Harry! Get up" she said groggily. He shifted moaning and wincing after sleeping on the floor for 2 hours.

"What t-time is it?" he asked stifling a yawn

"6.10" she replied "Davy get the fuck up already!"

"Shit" Harry mumbled to himself, he had a banging headache and his body was killing him from the come down of drugs and his uncle's previous beatings, but at least he didn't have any nightmares.

Davy slowly sat up against the park bench while the others were dusting themselves of and finding their various possessions they through around while drunk earlier that morning. Harry walked over to him and sat on the bench next to him. Davy got a bottle of pills from his pocket, he took one then offered Harry some

"For the headache?" he said

"Cheers" Harry replied

"How was that stuff I gave you the over day?"

"You've given me a lot of stuff" he replied "You mean the smack?"

Dave smiled "Yeah, that" he said in a low voice

"You taken it?" he asked

"Yeah only once though since we did it" Harry replied

"Good init?" he said

"Yeah, never felt so good before in my life"

"But?" said Davy sensing Harry's hesitance, he could usually read Harry pretty well, they had become good friends fast

"It's the come down after, a day later and I could hold anything my hands were shaking so bad" said Harry remembering the day after he tried it for the first time. It caused him to drop a load of plates he was washing, which caused another fight with his uncle.

"Yeah that part of it pretty much sucks" Davy replied

"Surprised I haven't got the shakes right now, smoked it last night"

"You ain't got nothing to worry 'bout" said Davy "You can't get addicted after a few go's, its only if you do it a lot"

Harry didn't say anything. He lit up a cigarette, took a long drag then offered Davy one

"Thanks" he said

"By the way" Davy continued "don't mention anything to Lucy about the smack, she'll go mental, you know after everything with her brother"

"Course not, I ain't crazy" Harry replied. He knew vaguely from Davy and Will that Lucy's brother had become a heroin addict and died from an overdose when he was 19.

The group all said their goodbyes and Harry was able to sneak back in by 6.40. Before he went inside he sprayed his clothes to get rid of the smell, he then climbed in through the window and went over to his bed. He was however surprised to find Hedwig carrying a letter. He hadn't received any letters recently from Ron and Hermione after his few vague and short replies to the many worried letters from them in the first few weeks in the holidays. Hedwig gave him a concerned hoot and went over to her cage for some food.

He opened the letter and read it

_Dear Harry _

_I hope you are having a pleasant holiday and the Dursleys are treating you well. _

_I am writing to inform you that after much thought I have decided it would be in your best interests to carry on Occlumency training with Professor Snape during the summer. Although I cannot go into great details in this letter for obvious reasons, I insist it's of great importance for you continue your training. _

_Professor Snape will come round at 11am 28__th__ July for your first session. If this is an un-convenient time and you would like to re-arrange then reply saying so. _

_Yours most sincerely _

_Albus Dumbledore _

Harry suddenly felt anger filling him up, 'how could he do this?' He thought to himself. He's grieving his Godfather and that man suddenly tells him he has to meet up with the man that hates him and the man Harry also blames for Sirius's death. He lost it and punched the wall next to his desk hard. He felt and heard something crack in his hand

"Fuck fuck fuck" he whimpered holding his injured hand to his chest.

He went into the bathroom and washed his injured hand and wrapped it in a bandage. He then splashed his face with cold water and looked in the mirror again. He looked even worse than last night, he had more bruises on his face and he was even paler than usual. What was worse though was professor Snape will be coming round in two days and see him like this. He suddenly found himself wondering why he didn't seem to care whether Snape found out about his 'self medication' habits. Snape probably wouldn't care even if he did find out. He walked out the bathroom back into his room, 'fuck them' he thought to himself angrily. He felt like he just wanted to kill Snape for Sirius's death and all the years of humiliation and being picked on by him.

Harry sat back down on his bed and started staring at the ceiling; he noticed his hands were starting to shake again. It's going to be a long wait until tonight.

**A/N- **Should I carry on this story? I don't know yet, please review and tell me how I'm doing and if I should carry on this story or if you have any good suggestions to what should happen next. Hope you enjoyed it


	2. Chapter 2

**Hooked**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Child abuse, drug abuse, fairly bad language, mild violence

**A/N **Decided to write another chapter, please review and tell me how I'm doing. Enjoy :)

**Chapter Two**

Without noticing Harry was now in a routine of waking up, snort or smoke whatever stash he had left on him, doing his chores, argue with his 'family' (sometimes resulting in a fight), work out until exhausted, smoke some pot, get a few hours sleep, then meet up with the group in the park to get wasted. During one of his rare moments of awareness, he found it funny that a few weeks ago if anyone told him he would be getting drunk almost every night and doing drugs like cocaine and even heroin, which he had decided not to continue after its profound effects, he would have told them to see a shrink. Yet he was here in the park two days later with his new mates doing all of this. They were going a little over board as the night before they couldn't meet up as the rest of the group were busy. Harry laughed thinking what it would be like to be able to tell the group _he _couldn't make one night because _he_ was busy, as though he had other friends and an exciting social life.

"Your guys are gonna love meee" said Lucy twirling round the bars on the swing set, trying to be elegant but swaying on her feet after everything she'd drank.

"Why? What did you do now?" asked Will

"Well tell me Will, have you got enough happiness in your life?" she asked and went and sat on Wills knee "Enough joy? Enough _ecstasy?_ Hahahaha" she said while pulling out a pack of pills in a small plastic bag.

Harry and Davy were watching with amusement, they were already so drunk that they couldn't stand up properly so hand surrendered to the ground propped up against the park bench. Harry didn't know how much vodka or coke he's had, but by the way he couldn't read the no littering sign that was less than 5m in front of him meant he knew it must have been a lot. They were currently trying to roll up a joint each while watching the commotion with Lucy.

"What about you boys? Fancy some fun?" Lucy asked staggering over to Harry and Davy. Lucy was rarely this drunk in the park as she believed she had more sense than that, but tonight had been an exception.

"Harry" she started "we all know you could use a bit of fun"

"Bring it" laughed harry

She put the pill in between her tongue and her top teeth and went over and straddled harry on the floor, she then put her mouth to his, briefly kissing each other opened mouthed he took the pill and swallowed it. He smiled

"Thanks Luce" he said

She smiled and patted him on the cheek and turned to a gobsmacked Davy

"Hey I'd like a pill too" he said smirking

"Here" she said chucking the bag of pills at him then walked off to Summer who was dancing under the swing set.

"What! Where's the love? I was hoping for a little tongue with mine" shouted Davy

"Get Harry to do it" she replied laughing

"Nah I know where he's been" said Harry turning to Davy

Davy ignored him and pouted turning to Lucy who was already off into the park.

"Oh well" Davy said and took 3 pills at once with a shot of Tequila and shivered

"I hate that shit" said Harry looking at the bottle

"You've been drinking it all night" slurred Davy

"I like the effects, not the actual drink" said Harry. He was starting to feel more energetic and felt the need to get back up and start running. They all spent the rest of the night playing childish games like tag, just running round the park. At about 6am, they were still up until Harry and Will snorted two lines of coke each and both collapsed on the grass in the park.

"Hahaha shit, they're completely gone" said Lucy who had managed to sober up a bit more and the exercise.

"They're still alive right?" asked Davy slurred about to collapse at any point.

Summer jabbed them both with her toe causing harry to grunt before going back unconscious.

"Looks like it" said Summer who had laid down next to Harry on the grass with her head on his chest

"Let's hope so, its Wills turn to buy tomorrow" said Lucy

"Uh huh" replied Summer sleepily "Harry makes a nice cushion" she said drifting off to sleep

"You know I make a nice cushion too Luce" said Davy wiggling his eyebrows

"Shut up Davy" she replied with a smirk

Three hours later Harry woke up to someone shaking him roughly by the shoulders, he looked up and the blurry figure and noticed a weight on his chest. He looked down to see summer lying on him looking at him through glazed and sleepy eyes.

"Hi Harry" she said absently

"Hey" he replied groggily

He very slowly got to his feet and swayed and tried to help summer up. He had a killer headache and felt as though he was coming down with the flu. He sniffed rubbing his irritated nose caused from constantly snorting stuff.

"About time, I've been trying to wake you guys for the last hour. Davy's still out of it of course" said Lucy who looked tired but not as bad as Harry did at the moment

Harry looked at her blearily, he noticed he was still stoned as his vision swayed and he couldn't concentrate on anything.

"What time is it?" he asked

"Nine" she replied going over to try wake the other guys again

Harry's heart stopped, 9am, he should have been back making breakfast for the Dursleys at 7.30am. But after a barely second the feelings of dread went and were replaced with the same 'not caring' attitude he'd had since the start of the holidays. What could they do to him that hasn't already been done?

"You okay Harry? You look out of it?" Lucy asked, before he had a chance to reply she carried on "Hey seeing as its Saturday why don't we all meet up later on in the day, none of us are working so... You free?"

"Its Saturday?" asked Harry, sitting down on the bench trying not to fall down. That means he wouldn't get in trouble after all, the Dursleys wouldn't be up for another half hour or so on the weekends.

Lucy laughed "Harry you need to get outta that bubble your living in, Jeez I wouldn't be surprised if didn't know what year we're in"

Harry gave a small laugh. He lit up and took a long drag before saying good bye and starting his walk home. Again he sprayed himself and climbed through the window and over his desk when he noticed an opened letter by his nightstand.

"Ah shit" he mumbled. Snape was coming round today, in less than an hour and a half. He carried on looking at the letter then felt himself try to walk backwards but tripped and fell into a heap on the ground with a bang. 'Yep, still drunk' he thought to himself

"BOY!" came a shout from downstairs "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Harry rolled his eyes, usually he would try and sober up a bit but with by the way this day seemed to be going he decided that it didn't matter anymore. He walked down the stairs slowly so not to trip up again and met his uncle in the hallway.

"Well?" he asked

"Well what?" Harry replied blankly

"Don't get cocky with me boy" he threatened, "What the hell wall all that banging?"

"I'm learning to tap dance, looks like I need more practice though" said Harry with a serious face

His Uncle lunged at him, he put his big forearm against Harry's throat and shoved him against the wall. Harry stared back, right into his eyes. One thing anyone could never call Harry was a coward. Sure his uncle could beat the crap out of him when he wanted but Harry never gave him the satisfaction of crying or begging. Since he came home from school this time round he started answering his uncle back more without even thinking about it, he just didn't care what they did to him hear and he wanted to show that too them.

"You better watch your mouth boy and if I find out you've used any magic under my roof you won't make it out of here for your next school year. Is that clear boy?"

"Crystal" he replied with a smile

His Uncle then roughly pushed Harry's head into the wall and walked off while telling him to make his breakfast.

'That's going to leave a bruise' he thought while massaging his hand that was still sore from punching the wall the other day, it was made worse from last night's running around and then being shoved around by his uncle.

Harry went round the kitchen preparing the breakfasts for his relatives. Aunt Petunia just sat there reading a magazine while Harry did all the work. Surprisingly, it was his aunt that he hated the most out of all of them. Even though it was his uncle that treated him the worst, then there was Dudley who had bullied him and laughed when uncle Vernon verbally attacks him (He was never violent in front of Dudley) but his aunt, his own flesh and blood just watched, never saying anything, never showed him any compassion even when he was young. She had treated strangers kids nicer then she had ever treated harry. He could never understand how she could do that to her own nephew. His mother Lilly did nothing to her yet she completely neglected her own sisters' son.

He finished and served the breakfasts and got out of there. He didn't eat anything himself as he wasn't hungry; he never really was these days. He usually ate lunch and maybe a snack here and there, maybe some food at the park like take out but that was pretty much it. As he went out the kitchen he realised that he hadn't told the Dursleys that Snape would be coming round. He almost turned back around to tell them but then thought 'Let Snape deal with them'. He couldn't be bothered with any of this today. He slowly made his way up to his room and noticed how tired he was. He'd only had about 5 hours sleep in the last two days and it has caught up with him. So he decided for a quick pick me up just to get him through the next few hours. He went to his loose floorboard and got out some of his secret stash. He emptied some of the powder from a vial and made two lines on his desk and snorted them. He sniffed and rubbed his nose and got the remaining coke that was left on the desk and rubbed it round his mouth until he felt numb. He made sure all the evidence was completely hidden and waited on his bed.

At a few minutes past 11 there was a knocking on the front door and Harry heard his Uncle answering the door. He got out of bed and made his way downstairs to find his potions master and uncle face to face in their hallway. Snape was wearing his usual black robes and was glaring at Harry from the dark stairs.

"Boy what the hell is this?" asked his Uncle glaring at Harry with daggers in his eyes "Are you his Godfather?" he suddenly asked turning his glare to Snape, but Harry heard a hint of worry in his voice as he looked at the possible ex-convict standing in his house. Harry felt a slight jolt at the word Godfather but carried on looking impassive.

Snape gave him a mildly curious look wondering how his relatives didn't know that the boy who lived Godfather was dead.

"I am Potter's professor at school and have the unfortunate job of tutoring those who are less then competent in their school work during the holidays" Snape said icily.

Uncle Vernon looked like he was about to argue so Snape said in a menacing voice "If you happen to have a problem with this then you can take it up with the headmaster"

That did it thought Harry. The Dursleys always seemed scared of Dumbledore; he remembered the howler his aunt had gotten last year after the dementer attack.

"Potter" Snape said sharply indicating his head for them to go upstairs away from the rest of his relatives.

Harry rolled his eyes and lead Snape to his bedroom at the end of the hall. Snape noticed on his bedroom door were several locks on the outside of the door, his was the only door with them, he also noticed a cat flap on his door too. He thought it was strange but then he thought muggles were strange anyway.

Snape conjured two chairs in the small room and looked at Harry properly for the first time. He was definitely thinner and paler, he had dark circles and bags under his eyes, which were also blood shot and seemed misty. He noticed his bandaged hand and a bruise on his cheek. He also looked exhausted and ill. Harry then confirmed that when he sniffed and rubbed his eyes. He was looking at Snape expectantly.

"Do you know why I'm here potter" he asked

Harry shrugged "to teach me Occlumency"

Snape glared at him, the last thing he wanted to do is to waste his time with this brat

"Do you know why?"

Harry just shrugged again. He didn't look 'all there' to Snape. He was already growing impatient at is 'can't-be-bothered' attitude

"Potter, may I remind you that although we are outside of school I am still your professor, you will show respect and address me as 'sir" he said coldly

Harry yawned and blinked tiredly "Yes sir"

Snape scowled "The reason we have decided to carry on your Occlumency, after your dismal efforts last year, if that we have reason to believe he will attempt to carry on trying to get into your mind and control it. Something we cannot afford to happen this year"

Harry could barely contain rolling his eyes, always a mystery with them; they never tell him the 100% complete honest truth he thought to himself. His anger was rising again, he couldn't be bothered with this and he found himself becoming more irritated by the second.

"Why this year?" he asked while sniffing again

"_Sir, _potter"

"Why this year _sir_?"

"The Dark Lord grows ever stronger and we believe he may attempt to do something this year" he said quickly while getting his wand out of his pocket "now stop babbling potter and prepare your mind, Legilimens!" Like many times before he didn't give Harry any warning and started attacking his mind.

He was five years old at school where Dudley and his gang were picking on Harry. Then he was eight and being chased by Aunt Marge's dog. Harry then felt dread as he saw before his eyes Sirius laughing in Grimauld place last year at Christmas then the scene changed to the department of mysteries where he saw Sirius fall through the arch again.

Harry opened his eyes and found himself on his bedroom floor panting. He was feel very ill now and wished he could take something to calm himself down, but he would have to wait at least until Snape has gone.

"You lost control" Snape said annoyed "Get up!"

Harry got up slowly, he was still slightly drunk from last night and the happy high from the cocaine was starting to wear off fast in Snape's presence which he didn't believe could be possible. Harry just stared at Snape defiantly; he decided it would be best not to retaliate otherwise he might not be able to stop himself from attacking him.

Snape continued to get more and more impatient with Harry and his attitude throughout the next hour while Harry got more and more angry with Snape. Harry noticed that he seemed to be almost liking the anger inside him right now, he liked being able to feel _something_, instead of the usual impassiveness. Harry so far had only been able to push Snape out of his mind once and on their 7th try Harry's anger got the better of him.

"Legilimens!" Snape cast

Harry was in the park with his mates drinking. About a hundred dementers were gliding towards him and Sirius by the lake. Sirius in a cave in his 4th year, Cedric dying, hhhe was 7 and his aunt was screaming at him, Sirius falling through the arch

"NO!" Harry yelled

With that Snape had been pushed out of his mind and also pushed back against the wall with great force. Harry opened his eyes, he was covered in sweat and now looked a lot worse than before. He looked at Snape who had an unreadable expression on his face.

"Damn it potter! You lost control again" snarled Snape

"What? I got you out my mind, I thought that was whole point of this fucking exercise!" Harry yelled back. He hated the control Snape had over him. What was Dumbledore thinking sending his enemy to go through his mind _again. _Those were his thoughts and memories and he didn't want that bastard going through them ever.

"Watch your mouth potter" said Snape threateningly "You are not supposed to use magic, that's the whole point, you're supposed to use your mind"

"I did use my mind" replied Harry sarcastically "I thought about hitting you in the face and off you went"

"Potter I'm warning you, you better learn your place, the chosen one or not" he said icily

"Pathetic, you can't block off your mind remotely after all the lessons I wasted last year. I'm not going to waste my time any more" he snarled, then swiftly walked out of the room

Harry sat there for a while then realised that he was shaking, whether it was from a withdrawal from one of the drugs he had taken in the last 24 hour hours or from the rage he was feeling after seeing Snape. He knew he was over doing it but it didn't stop him from getting a joint he had hidden under his nightstand, knowing any minute the Dursleys would come for him now his guest had gone. He went across the hall into the bathroom, locked the door and opened the window and started smoking. He took long drags and held it in for as long as possible to get the full effects, knowing that it could get him through the rest of today. When he had finished he sprayed everywhere and sure enough his Uncle called him down. Sighing, he slowly started to make his way downstairs while embracing the calm and light feeling from the cannabis that was taking over him.

**A/N- **Please review and tell me how I'm doing and if I should carry on this story or if you have any good suggestions to what should happen next. I will probably hurrying the summer on a bit now and get to Hogwarts for more drama ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Hooked**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Child abuse, drug abuse, fairly bad language, mild violence

**A/N **Thank you for the great reviews, I'm now definitely going to carry on this story, hope you enjoy it :)

**Chapter Three**

It was the day after his Occlumency lesson with Harry and Severus was still furious at the boy's behaviour. He had straight away stormed into Dumbledore's' office back in Hogwarts and argued with the headmaster for a good 20 minutes about how incompetent the boy was and how he was just like his father and how he was lazy, of course Dumbledore had heard all of this before but listened anyway and then tried to convince him the importance of Harry learning Occlumency.

"I fear that the connection between Harry and Voldemort will only grow stronger. We have discussed this many times already Severus. He must be able to close his mind off in order for him to defeat Voldemort and this is especially important this year"

"Why can't someone else do it? After everything I have already done for you in this war why can't you get someone else to train the Potter brat?" he had asked icily

"Because you are the best at Occlumency out of all the people we could trust with the job. Now would you like me to write to Harry about his next session or will you?"

And that had been it. Snape was going to carry on being forced into working with the wretched boy twice a week during his Summer holidays. He didn't bother mentioning about the boy's strange appearance or the his odd relatives; partly because he was too angry to remember at the time but also because he presumed that the boy-who-lived would be one of the most protected and looked after people in the country. Probably spoiled rotten as well he had thought to himself, but in the back of his mind he couldn't help but think that something was 'off'.

It was two days after Snape's visit and Harry found himself in his usual routine and was currently scrubbing the floors of the Dursleys kitchen. After Snape left he was expecting the worst from his uncle after 'inviting freaks into his home' but was surprised when he didn't mention it. He just glared at him and handed him a list of chores to do while his relatives went out shopping. Harry thought the lack of usual violence and yelling was because his relatives were now scared that someone was checking up on him and it would be suspicious if he got any bruises seeing as they know (or think they know) that he never leaves the house.

This new arrangement suited Harry of course as he wouldn't have to talk to the Dursleys, he could just get on with his chores, which most of the time Harry wouldn't mind as it gives him something else to think about other then Sirius's death and the prophecy. Had he also received a very brief letter from Snape saying that they would have Occlumency lessons twice a week on Saturdays and Wednesday's at 6pm. He was mad as hell about this and seriously considered writing a blunt letter to his headmaster explaining where he can shove his Occlumency lessons, but decided against it when he was sober enough to actually pick up a pen.

Tonight would also be the first night with his friends after Snape's 'lesson'. This was because the others needed last night to recover after being up all of the previous night and that day. This meant that Harry had spent the last two days and nights trying to keep his mind occupied by exercising, drinking twice as much as he knew from his experiences last year that after Occlumency lessons he would get the worst nightmares. He had slept about 7 hours over the last 2 days and 4 hours of these hours he wasn't actually sleeping, he was unconscious due to the drug and alcohol binge to keep him going until he would see the rest of his mates.

Another thing he had to look forward to was that he would be celebrating his birthday this year with his new friends. They weren't really doing anything special, just hanging out in the park again but to Harry it would still be the best birthday he had had yet. They would be meeting at 11.30 as usual and they promised to get the most drugs and the most booze they could get their hands on as Harry's was the only birthday in the holidays which gave them the excuse to get themselves wasted.

So Harry carried on with his routine and waited until it was 11.15 before sneaking out of the Dursleys and made his way to the park. When he arrived Summer ran up to him and jumped on him giving him a hug while shouting 'happy birthday!'. Harry laughed and let her lead him over to the rest of the group by the park bench in the corner where he saw the largest collection of vodka he'd seen yet. Tonight was gonna be fun he thought to himself.

"Harry my man!" Davy shouted, surprisingly to Harry he sounded quite sober, Lucy gave him a look

"We decided we'd wait for you before we started" said Lucy "That way _some of us _would be able to make it past 2 in the morning" she said pointedly looking over at Davy while Harry laughed

"Well now I'm just going to have to drink twice as much to compensate it" he said haughtily "Happy birthday Harry! Well in 20 minutes anyway..." he turned to look at his watch

"Here" he said handing Harry a bottle of Absolut vodka "from the gang and tonight all the alternative medication you want is on us" he said with a wink

Harry laughed again "Thanks, this'll keep me going for a while"

"No problem mate" Will said "I suggested a birthday cake, but Davy thought you'd like this better"

"One of Davys smarter moments I have to say" said Lucy paying Davy a rare compliment

"Why am I still sober?" Davy suddenly burst out, not listening to the conversation going on.

Everyone just laughed and passed bottles round to each other.

"Okay, after we say cheers you have to chug as much of the bottle in 10 seconds" said Lucy smirking

"Sounds good to me" said Davy and joined in the circle of friends on the grass

"Cheers" they all shouted and started to drink

Hermione Granger was sitting on her window sill in her bedroom staring out into the sky where she had just sent Hedwig back to Harry's with his birthday present attached to her leg. She hadn't heard from him in two weeks now and she was starting to worry about him. She knew he was in no immediate danger but she saw how Sirius's death had affected him last year and she worried about him even more now he was cooped up with those muggles who hated him while he grieved. She had sent him a few letters asking how he was and if he ever needed to talk she would always be there for him but it was hard when she was far away, not helped by the fact that Harry was a very stubborn person who kept his feelings locked away.

She had even thought about going to visit him in person, just as a muggle. She even planned the journey just in case, it would only take an hour or so on the train. She didn't think Dumbledore would have a problem with it and his aunt and uncle might not mind as she would travel and dress like a muggle, but she wasn't a 100% sure, she didn't want to cause any trouble for Harry. She wrote to Ron as well about the idea and he thought it could be a good idea. Ron was also worried about Harry (though not as much as Hermione, typical boys she thought) and wanted him to come stay at the burrow soon but Dumbledore told them that Harry had to stay for a while longer for the blood wards.

Maybe she was being a bit dramatic she thought to herself, after all Dumbledore knows what he's doing. But she'll still think about going to visit Harry if he doesn't write back.

Back at the park it was 4am and the group of friends had already gotten completely wasted and were now starting to come down from their highs. Harry was just smiling leaning against a tree on the grass thinking about how happy he is at the moment. He saw summer walk over and sit next to him.

"You having a good time?" she asked. Summer had steadied herself tonight knowing she might have to stop the others getting in trouble again.

"Yeah its the best night ever" he said slurred. He'd never felt so relaxed in his life

"Good" summer smiled "Hey I got you another present just from myself" she said getting something out of her bag "It's a mobile phone, I noticed you didn't have one, which is completely crazy if you ask me" he added. "It's so you can still speak to us once you've gone back to your fancy boarding school" she teased.

Harry looked at the small silver phone she'd given him and smiled

"Thanks Sums" he said

She smiled back "Your welcome. It's not much but it does have a camera, so you can send us some pictures. I already put all of our numbers in for you and it came with some money on it but you'll need to top it up once and a while"

Harry just smiled and let summer lean on him while they watched amusedly Lucy and Davy argue and flirt at the same time while Will made comments trying to wind both of them up. Harry liked summer a lot, she'd had become like a sister to him over the last few weeks. He liked how she was happy and eccentric even after being surrounded by such bad things. He didn't know exactly how bad her childhood was but her mother had killed herself and her father was in jail. She had lived with her grandmother and uncle after that when she was about 10. Excluding the bad childhood, Summer somewhat reminded him of Luna Lovegood in a way.

Harry and summer feel asleep under that tree and were not woken up until around 6am. Harry had made his way back home the same as he did each night climbing through the window of his bedroom and spraying himself to get rid of any smells that hint he's been out. He could feel himself coming down from the high and started to feel sick after all the alcohol last night. After a few weeks of drinking so much his tolerance for alcohol had gone up now so he wasn't sick as much as he used to be so he should be okay now.

He decided since it was his birthday he should treat himself and not let the come down from drugs ruin his day. He got some of the coke from his jacket pocket and made two lines on his desk and snorted them and sniffed and rubbed his nose to make sure he got every last bit.

He looked over to his bed and saw a pile of presents that must have been delivered by Hedwig during the night. He had completely forgotten that his other friends from the wizarding world sent him presents too. He walked over to the first letter that was from Ron:

_Harry,_

_Happy Birthday mate! Hope you like the present, we got it from Diagon Alley the other week when we visited Fred and George's new shop. It's amazing in there, even mum didn't complain about it, she was even impressed! _

_Hope you're not doing to bad over there, Hermione keeps nagging me asking if we should come over there and check if you're okay. We keep asking Dumbledore when you can come over but he's you need to stay there for a bit longer._

_Stay strong,_

_From Ron_

Harry smiled slightly. It was nice to know that Ron and Hermione still cared, but he wished he could just get on with life without them bitching at him.

Attached to the letter were two parcels. One of them full of fudge cakes from Mrs Weasley and the other was a small box that contained a toy snitch used for seekers to practice with. He'd missed Quidditch over holidays but in some ways he didn't know if he could be bothered returning to the team. It seemed kind of childish to him after everything that had happened to him.

He went over to the next letter that was from Hermione

_Dear Harry,_

_Happy Birthday! I wish we could come round and see you on your birthday but I understand why we can't. I got saw this in a catalogue from Diagon Alley and ordered it for you, I think it will be really helpful this year as we're starting our N.E.W.T's and it doesn't hurt to read ahead. _

_Hope you're doing okay and if you need to talk to me about anything don't hesitate to say. Also I've attached my home phone number in case you need to talk as well. _

_Love from Hermione_

He un-wrapped Hermione's present to unsurprisingly find a book called 'Advanced Defence Against the Dark arts'. It looked pretty good to Harry, he'd be sure to try some of the spells once he gets to Hogwarts. Again he sensed Hermione's worry. He could tell she's going to be difficult next term, if she's worried about him now then he knows she's going to have a spaz attack when she actually see's him. He's still as pale but had gotten slightly skinnier again since last week. He also noticed that his bruises seem to be taking longer to heal. He was going to have to think of some good excuses and maybe ways to hide his appearance before he goes back to Hogwarts. Harry had also received a birthday present off Hagrid which included his infamous rock cakes and he had also received a bunch of the Weasley twin's products from their joke shop.

After looking through all of his gifts and having a shower he made his way downstairs and started his usual routine of cooking the Dursleys breakfast then leaving without eating any of it himself and started some of his chores. As they do on every year, the Dursleys didn't mention anything about Harry's birthday they just ignored him. Sometimes he wondered whether they knew it was his birthday and purposely didn't mention it or whether they actually didn't have a clue and didn't care.

He finished all of his chores (with weed break in between) by 4pm and went to lie on his bed for a while. He decided not to do any exercise yet, he'd wait until he started feeling sleepy or if his mind started racing again over everything that had happened of late. The exercise was doing him good, he was still fairly skinny but he was starting to get a six pack and his arms were stronger than before. Over the summer he had also grown several more inches and was just under 6", a height early on Harry never thought he could achieve. He liked working out now but he didn't need to right now as his mind was just peacefully blank. Staring at the ceiling like he was now reminded him of the heroin he took barely a week ago and he remembered that he still had some under the floorboard. He remembered it had given him such an amazing feeling. He no problems in the world when he took it, 'But the cravings afterwards were too much' he thought. Just as Harry started to wonder whether the cocaine was becoming a problem too his thoughts was interrupted by the front door opening and shouts coming from downstairs.

Harry listened at his locked door to see what was going on. He could hear his uncle shouting about something.

"Oh shit" Harry murmured wondering if it was something to do with his uncle's job. When his uncle was most violent in the past it was usually caused by problems at work. He remembers when he was eight; the company had been having trouble back then, he had suffered some of his worst injuries during those couple of months. 'Well, the year after that wasn't exactly the best time either' he thought to himself and inwardly shivered, trying not to think about it.

Harry hoped that the last few days of no violence would carry on even after problems with work, as his teacher would still be checking up on him. However it didn't carry on.

"PETUNIA, GET THAT BOY DOWN HERE" his uncle bellowed.

He could hear his aunt coming up the stairs and all the locks on his door being un-locked. She opened the door and glared at him as though blaming him for her husband's temper. Before leaving the room all Harry had time to do if grab his wand and hide it in the waistband of his jeans, just in case things got too bad. He thought about getting the knife under his bed but then realized that stabbing his uncle would cause more trouble than it's worth.

He walked slowly down the stairs to meet his uncle's face staring coldly at him from the lounge. Harry could tell from here that his uncle had been drinking.

"Come here boy" he said in a menacing voice

Harry slowly walked over to him, only feeling slightly scared but mostly blank, like his brain was already trying to block the pain he was about to feel.

"We've just heard some rather interesting information from the Hendricks this afternoon, care to guess what it was?"

Harry didn't say anything; he just stared blankly at his uncle.

"She was just asking whether I knew that you were sneaking out of your window at night" said his uncle barely containing his rage

Harry's heart dropped a bit, he'd never noticed his neighbour watching him

"Were you sneaking out to meet those freaks of yours?" asked Vernon shaking "After everything we have done for you? Instead of being grateful you embarrass us in front of our neighbours and continue to bring these freaks into our home" he shouted in Harry's face and shoved him back roughly across the room.

"Grateful? I would have been more grateful if you left me on the door step 16 years ago and let me freeze to death" sneered Harry before he could stop himself.

He knew he shouldn't have answered back. His uncle saw red and shouted again and pushed him backwards with full force except this time there was a glass coffee table behind him.

The glass broke under the force and cut and lodged pieces of glass through Harry's thin tee shirt and all the way down Harry's back. Harry gasped while his Aunt Petunia came running in to see what had broken. She gaped at the mess inside her lounge, the blood that was about to go onto her tidy carpet and then she noticed that the windows were open and any of the neighbours could have heard what had happened. She went over to Harry.

"UP" she said "Get up now"

She dragged him up with surprising force for such a skinny women and dragged him upstairs. She got a clean towel and some flimsy plasters threw them into his room where Harry was sitting doubled over on his bed.

"Clean yourself up" she said emotionlessly "You will be staying here for the rest of the evening and will not sneak out again, you will not be joining us for dinner"

She then left the room and bolted up his door again. Harry stood up very slowly and looked in the mirror. His head was bleeding slightly and he was getting a bruise on his jaw and the side of his face where he hit the far side of the table. The sides of his ribs didn't look good either because of the angle he fell at but the worst sight of all was his back. He turned around and tried to see the damage that had been done and slowly took off his t shirt; this was painful enough as it causes some of the shards of glass to be pulled out. He saw that his back had cuts going all the way down it and there were bits of glass stuck everywhere on his back and it was covered in blood that kept dripping down onto the floor.

Not knowing what to do he just sat on the chair in his room (backwards so his back wouldn't hurt) and stared out the window. He reached into his jacket pocket and got the bag of white powder out and started lining it up on the desk in front of him. 'I'm practically bleeding to death with bits of glass sticking out my back and the first thing I do is line up some coke' he thought to himself and inwardly laughed. He deserved some pain relief, normal people didn't have to try and cope with pain like this. He made up four lines and snorted them one after the other and then just carried on staring out of the window spaced out.

A while later he looked at the clock and was surprised to see it said 8.30pm. He'd been sitting there for over 3 hours without realising. He still felt and bit spaced and looked around his room to find that he was really dizzy. 'What the hell am I supposed to do now' he thought suddenly starting to panic. He couldn't go to the hospital, they'll ask too many questions, he hasn't got any family that care about him, he can't go to anyone in the magical world, they'll just wind the Dursleys up and then leave him back here again afterwards.

Just then an idea hit him. He got the mobile out that Summer had given him and looked through the contacts on the phone and dialled.

"Hey Davy it's me, I've got a bit of a problem"

**A/N **Again thank you for the reviews and I'm glad people like the story :)

Harry is definitely going to get addicted to drugs in the story and it will go into Hogwarts and Snape will play a role in identifying Harry's problems. There will be plenty off angst too. Also I was wondering what people thought about Davy and the gang? Should I continue writing about them when Harry goes back to Hogwarts?

Please keep reviewing and tell me how I'm doing or if you have any ideas


	4. Chapter 4

**Hooked **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Child abuse, drug abuse, fairly bad language, mild violence, self harm

**A/N: **Again thank you for the good reviews I've been getting, Hope you enjoy :)

**Chapter 4**

It was now 10.30pm and Harry found himself in a small abandoned building in the middle of the West hill estate. He was sitting shirtless on one of the many empty crates that were scattered about the room while smoking a cigarette hoping it would distract him from the pain. Davy had apparently known about this place for a while and used to visit here when he needed another place to drink or hang out and it was also a good place to hide things that weren't entirely legal.

Harry had told Davy over the phone briefly that he had hurt his back and needed someone to look at it. Harry had crept out again and met Davy at their usual park and he brought him here. Davy was now picking the pieces of glass out of his back using some tweezers. He had briefly asked how Harry ended up like this and Harry had said he fell onto a glass table and Davy (thank God, Harry thought) had not asked any more questions, for which he was grateful.

"Not having the best birthday in the world are we Harry?" he said while pulling a particularly big shard out of his back while Harry winced violently.

"It still beats quite a few of them" gasped Harry

"Here, at least take some of this" said Davy handing Harry some whiskey.

"Thanks" replied Harry and quickly downed some hoping it would help to dull the pain. There was a few minutes of silence (besides the small gasps from Harry) before Davy started to talk

"You know I used to live here for a while"

"Seriously?" asked Harry

"Yeah, I would run away from home sometimes. I would never spend more than a week here though, it would get too lonely"

"Yeah I could see that" said Harry. Maybe he should have run off from the Dursleys when he had the chance.

"I used to think about running away sometimes" said Harry

"What stopped you?"

"I knew nothing about outside that house. I didn't have a clue where I would go and earn money and all that" he replied

"I guess that's a big factor. Well, now I only use this place for storage" said Davy

"Ouch" Harry gasped after another painful piece of glass. "What do you store in here anyway?"

"Stuff you wouldn't want others to find on you" he replied "There are too many raids and drug dogs around now to risk carrying gear about or keeping it in your house" he said distractedly "Jesus how much glass did you fall into? Theres so much blood covering it all"

"Sorry" Harry said quietly

"Ain't blaming you mate, just need to rinse it off a bit" Davy poured some water down Harry's back from his bottle.

"Wow, I didn't think you drank anything without alcohol in it" said Harry trying to lighten the mood a bit

"Yeah, well, apparently the brain needs it to survive, who'd have thought that" said Davy sarcastically, but in a friendly way. Harry just gave a small laugh.

20 minutes later all the glass had been removed from Harry's back and it was starting to feel slightly better.

"Okay, this bit is gonna hurt like hell but it will stop it getting infected" said Davy. Harry just nodded. Davy took back the bottle of whiskey from Harry and poured it down Harry's back

"Fuck" Harry gasped

Davy covered the whole of Harry's back as quickly as possible so he could start to feel comfortable again. Harry's back stinged painfully and felt as though he couldn't move it.

"Did you bring that cream" asked Davy

"Yeah" said Harry passing him an old anti septic cream from the Dursleys medical cabinet. He'd had it hidden in his room for years now after a particular beating left him with an infected cut on his arm. Davy slowly rubbed generous amounts onto Harry's back and then started to cover them with bandages and large padded plasters.

"You're lucky we still have all this shit in the house you know" commented Davy referring to the plasters.

"I'm grateful for it. Why do you have them though?" asked Harry

"Brother got in a nasty accident on his bike" said Davy "He needed loads of stitches and his bandages had to be replaced every so often and they gave us too many. This ain't even half of them; they've just been lying round for years"

"How's that feeling?" asked Davy

"Much better, thanks mate" said Harry sincerely "I seriously owe you one"

"It's okay mate, any time" said Davy smiling.

"By the way do you want something a little stronger for the pain?" asked Davy

"Yeah sure, what've you got?" asked Harry

Davy took out a small bottle of pills and chucked them over to Harry

"How much?" asked Harry

"£20 will do" said Davy

"You sure?" asked Harry, usually stuff like this would cost at least £50

"Yeah, its fine, they didn't cost me anything"

"Okay, cheers" said Harry handing him the money. "What exactly is it?"

"Vicodin, just a good pain killer. Got me through some tough times in school" he smiled

"Why? What happened in school?" asked Harry

"Algebra" he replied "Come on, I said we'd meet Lucy in about half an hour"

Harry took two of the pills and they both walked out of the old house together and headed out towards their usual park.

"By the way, could you not mention this to the guys or anything?" asked Harry

"It's okay, I won't say anything, but your gonna have to come up with one hell of a story for those bruises on your face" he replied.

"I think I got drunk and fell down the stairs"

"The stairs it is" said Davy.

He and the group did their usual routine in the park that night, even though Harry was exhausted from everything his body had been through in the last 24 hours, he still stayed as he couldn't stand to stay in his relative's house.

Even though Harry had known the guys for a good couple of weeks he still found himself learning more and more about them as the days went by. On this particular night he learned something new about Davy. Harry was talking and smoking joints with Will on the swing set when Davy wondered off to the edge of the park where he met 2 guys wearing hoods and talked with them for a few minutes and exchanged something.

"What's Davy up to?" asked Harry

"Flippin' birds" Will replied. Harry gave him a questioning look.

"It means he's selling coke"

"Oh" said Harry. He knew he dealt a bit of drugs, as he supplied the group with most of what they used, but he didn't know he dealt to complete strangers too.

"That's how he can afford to buy all the drugs. Even after buying it directly from the source it's pretty expensive" said Will answering Harry's look. Of course he didn't have to get a job like the rest of them (or deal drugs) because he had his inheritance. He was surprised how he didn't care that he was using his dead parent's money to drugs and alcohol; he used to feel slightly guilty using the money to buy himself stuff like sweets in Diagon Alley.

"How much is it usually?" asked Harry

"Well, on the street it would be around £30 per gram"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, it's expensive stuff"

"So then how does Davy get it so cheap?" asked Harry

"He knows someone who imports a load of it I think, which is pretty unusual but it makes it about a third of the price"

"Glad we have Davy then"

"Yeah" laughed Will

Harry got home earlier that morning at around 4am. He decided to try and get a few hours sleep after being up for more than 24 hours and then having to see Snape for his Occlumency lesson at 6 tonight. 'Typical' Harry thought 'The day after his Uncle almost kills him he has to see Snape'. That was going to cause some awkward questions.

After an hour and a half of restless sleep he had been woken up by his aunt banging at his door to make the breakfast. She looked at him in disgust as he walked down stairs. He made breakfast as usual and his uncle ignored him as usual, so things were going back to normal for now. Again Harry didn't bother to try and nick anything for breakfast and just got on with his chores. Once he had finished his chores at 4 he had measly dinner of a few slices of bread and cheese with an apple and then went upstairs to try and fix up his appearance as best as he could.

He looked in the mirror and straight away knew he was screwed. He laughed to himself; he looked awful, like a bruised corpse. His jaw had a reddish bruise on the side and his cheek was its usual purple colour and the side of his forehead and face had brown bruises running up and down. He was still pale and on the thin side too.

Laughing again at how hopeless this was going to be, he tried to fix the things he could. First of all he wore a sweat shirt under his jumper to bulk himself out a bit, also this would hide his bruised arms and some of the cuts he had. Then he rinsed his face with cold water to try and get some colour in them and to freshen up. This worked slightly but nothing was going to get rid of those bruises or bloodshot eyes, but it helped with the bags under his eyes a bit. Yep he was fucked he thought to himself.

At 5.40 he snorted some lines of coke, just to stop himself from falling asleep or from getting the shakes, which was happening more often now he was taking it more regularly. At precisely 6pm the door bell rang and he went downstairs to answer it. On the way to the door his uncle looked at him coldly from the hallway

"Not a word boy" he said menacingly

Snape waited impatiently at the door of number 4 Privet drive. He hated these muggle neighbour hoods of little picket fences and flower beds; they were so boring and sickly.

The door to the house opened and Snape just stood there shocked. The boy had seen his face and he quickly went back to his impassive glare, but he still couldn't believe the state he was in. His face was covered in bruises and his eyes were bloodshot and had bags underneath. He looked pale and tired, like he needed a good meal and a good night's sleep. Harry let him into the house and lead him into his bedroom wordlessly.

He conjured up a chair for him to sit on while potter sat on his bedroom chair.

"Potter, what the hell happened to your face?" asked Snape in his usual silky voice

"Fell down the stairs" he replied blankly

"You fell down the stairs?" Snape said coldly with a raised eyebrow.

"Yep" he replied defiantly. Snape gave him another cold look for what was in his opinion, a ridiculous lie. Potter may have done some incredibly stupid things in the past but he by no means clumsy.

Answering the cold look with a smirk Harry said "I mean _yes sir" _

"Potter you are aware that this is a serious matter and I will have to report this to Professor Dumbledore" he said

"Report what sir?" asked Harry innocently

"That one of his students looks like they have been attacked by a dragon" he said icily

Harry remained looking impassive and stared back at him, he tried to look into the boys mind but conveniently it was blank. So he could do Occlumency, when he feels like it that is, and Snape inwardly sneered forgetting Harry's worse for wear appearance.

They practiced Occlumency for the next two hours and to Snape's annoyance it was going just as bad as last time, though the boy was good at shifting the images in his head he was very poor at pushing Snape out of his mind.

"You're not trying hard enough" said Snape harshly staring down at the boy who was on the ground gasping and seemed to be wincing in pain and clutching his stomach.

"Potter?" he asked more softly this time, but still cold.

"What?" he asked pulling himself up slowly into the chair, in an uncomfortable position. His face seemed to be contorted for a second before he regained control.

"Potter where else have you injured yourself?" asked Snape

"Nowhere" Harry replied

"Potter if you-"

"Its none of your god damn business" shouted Harry "I'm fine"

Snape's face filled with anger "How dare you talk to me like that? While everyone's running round after you, the precious chosen one, you can't even be bothered to show any respect or willingness to help anyone but yourself"

"Whatever" replied Harry

"Detention" said professor Snape sharply, Harry gave him a questioning look. "That's right Potter, the headmaster thought it would be wise to let me save up detentions you can do once you get back to school. Unless you want to spend your first month back at school in the dungeons cleaning out cauldrons I would start showing a little respect"

With that Snape left the house and apparated back to his quarters in Hogwarts. He was going to get some potions for potter that would help with his bruises but after his attitude he decided to just let the boy suffer. Then there was the other problem he had of how to tell Dumbledore about the Golden boy's state and what caused it. Why could things with the Potter boy ever be simple he thought to himself.

As soon as Snape had left Harry did something he hadn't done in years. He just sat down in the corner of his room and cried quietly. He didn't know what made him do it, maybe the pent up aggression and anger or maybe it was the fact he hadn't slept properly in the last 3 days, but he just felt the sudden urge to cry and hurt something. He banged the back of his head against the wall, just trying to feel something but it wasn't enough.

After an hour or so he had stopped crying. He looked around himself and seemed to gain some awareness. Harry suddenly became embarrassed at his 'little episode' and realised that the Dursleys were out so he went into the bathroom and washed his face to make the redness go down and stared into the bathroom mirror. He hadn't cried since he was a kid and he wouldn't do it again, he thought to himself, that's what weak people do.

Pulling himself together he went to his room and lit a cigarette and took a few long drags to calm himself down. He waited for the Dursleys to come home from where ever they went and then he sneaked out to join Davy and the group at their usual park.

Professor Snape decided to tell Dumbledore about his concerns about potter after the Order meeting that took place the day after seeing Harry. He waited for everyone to pack up and leave the table in the basement of Grimauld place before heading over to the headmaster who was talking to Mad-eye.

"Professor, could I have a word" he asked curtly

"Why yes of course Severus, how did everything go last night? I hope you got along?" asked the headmaster with a hint of concern

"That is what I would like to talk to you about professor. When I saw Potter yesterday he had various bruises all up on the side of his face along with some other injuries he was trying to conceal"

"This is concerning" muttered Dumbledore "Would you mind telling me in more detail what happened in my office?"

"After you headmaster" he said, hoping this wasn't going to take up too much of his time.

They flooed into Dumbledore's office and both sat down facing each other.

"Did you inquire as to why he had these injuries?" asked Dumbledore

"Apparently he fell down the stairs" replied Snape icily

"Of course" said Albus very quietly, he stared down at his desk thinking.

"What are his relatives like? They seem normal enough" said Snape

"_Do_ _you _think his relatives injured Harry?" asked the headmaster calmly

"I highly doubt his family beat him, they probably have pampered him from the day he arrived there" he said coldly remembering all the broken toys in the boy's bedroom.

"That's not what I asked" said Dumbledore quietly

"I do not know whether his relatives are capable or not a causing him injury, though his uncle did seem to have a temper when I first met him" he admitted reluctantly

"Hmm" replied Dumbledore, thinking again.

"Do you think the boy's relatives are capable?" asked Snape

"I would hope not" replied Dumbledore. "I need you to keep a close eye on Harry Severus. Nothing too time consuming!" he added quickly at the look on Snape's face "Just while your round there check around a bit, look for any signs of abuse, you should know them well after all the Slytherins you have taken care of"

"Yes headmaster" replied Snape

"Was there anything else strange?"

"He looked tired and was much ruder then normal" said Snape bitterly. "There was also locks on his door, expect they were on the outside" said Snape just remembering "and there was a cat flap"

"Ahh, yes I believe I have heard that one before from Molly and Arthur Weasley" said Dumbledore distractedly

Snape merely raised his eyebrows and waited for him to continue.

"I want you to report anything unusual to me, and be on the lookout on your next visit"

Snape nodded and flooed back to his quarters wondering what he's got himself into.

**A/N: **In the next few chapters I'm going to try and hurry the stories along a bit so we can get back to Hogwarts. Again I'm wondering what people think about Davy and the rest of Harry's muggle friends, should I keep writing them in somehow once Harry gets to Hogwarts? Maybe he could sneak out and see them?

Please review and tell me how I'm doing and if you have any good ideas


	5. Chapter 5

**Hooked **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Child abuse, drug abuse, fairly bad language, mild violence

**A/N: **Thank you for all the reviews I've been getting :)

I kind of got writers block with this chapter as its sort of filling in between the holidays and Harry going back to Hogwarts, so it's a bit rushed and shorter then usual. Sorry for any spelling or grammatical mistakes I make. Hope you enjoy

**Chapter 5**

Three weeks had passed since Harry's Birthday and things were starting to look better for Harry. His friends had stopped sending overly worried letters to him after giving them long detailed reply thank you letters for the gifts and he and Snape had been doing relatively well in their Occlumency lessons. They were still arguing like usual and he has earned another three detentions for when he goes back to school but he did his best to make sure he looked more presentable and tried his best to care about these extra lessons. Harry knew if he didn't do this then Dumbledore and the Order would try to interfere (as usual) and he'd never be let out of their sight again, a privilege that has only been given to him this summer.

Unknown to Harry Snape was looking out for anything unusual and carefully studied the home whenever he was in it, by being a spy he noticed things other people didn't. He noticed that there were no pictures of him on the walls and his aunt and uncle seemed to have little contact with him at all times. He also noticed that his uncle and cousin were very overweight yet Harry had always been on the thin side. But this didn't prove much as it could just be a matter of genes or he just didn't eat as much. There were no clear signs of abuse (besides the original bruise on his face) and Harry didn't seem to show any signs either; he constantly kept himself impassive or angry when Snape was around. Even though there were no immediate signs of abuse there was still something wrong Snape thought. Even though there were no more bruises or injuries Harry still looked pale, thin and generally ill and exhausted. Dumbledore had suggested it could be due to him grieving for the mutt, but it still didn't seem right. Severus couldn't concern himself with it; the boy wasn't in any immediate danger and won't say what's wrong so for Snape it was a closed case.

To maintain this facade Harry's drug taking had become more frequent. So Snape would never suspect any of the occasional injuries he had gained from his uncle (that were now concentrated on this torso so no one suspected anything) he would take larger doses of weed and cocaine. This would provide a great pain killer but by taking them together, Harry found it cancels out the high so his professor wouldn't see him completely baked and report that to his headmaster instead.

Today Harry found himself in his usual routine again vacuuming the living room. His uncle Vernon popped his head round the door

"Where's your aunt?" he asked gruffly

"Out back" said Harry impassively knowing his uncle was going to start trying to wind him up.

"I don't like your tone boy"

"I don't like yours" Harry replied

"You ungrateful-" started Vernon walking towards Harry

"Ah" said Harry "Wouldn't you prefer me to finish my chores first before you bust my chest in? It kind of makes me work harder" said Harry

"You better watch it boy" his uncle said warningly and he stalked off towards the back garden.

He wondered if he should have answered back but after living with the Dursleys for so many years he's realised he's going to get punished whatever he does, so he might as well do something to wind them up on the way.

It was only one week until he had to go back to Hogwarts and he was already starting to feel claustrophobic mixed with panic. He knew he wasn't even remotely ready to go back. This Saturday he would be leaving for the Weasley's and going with them to Diagon Alley and staying at the burrow until they return to Hogwarts on the Monday.

He finished his chores for the day and had another pitiful dinner before heading upstairs to kill some time by doing some exercise and wait until it was later enough for him to sneak out to the park.

When he got there he was met by Summer and Lucy dancing on the benches singing Abba songs at the top of their voices while Will and Davy watched laughing. He walked over to the guys and sat with them.

"Y'alright Harry?" asked Davy

"Yeah, is that gonna be going on for long?" he replied nodding at the girls

"I'd probably start drinking if I were you, Davy's about a Stella away from joining them" answered Will

"I wish I was dear William but unfortunately I don't think I can stand right at the moment" replied Davy

Harry laughed and started to smoke a joint that Will had given him.

"Right, let's get down to business" said Davy trying not to slur too much.

"Harry is going away to his fancy school in one week, where there is no alcohol or drugs available _anywhere_" continued Davy

"You sure about that?" Will asked Harry, "Maybe you haven't looked hard enough"

"I'm sure, it's a very err... _sheltered _place" said Harry taking a long drag of the joint. This was partly true, he knew a few places he could get weed but he can't afford anybody that close to him (or Dumbledore) to know he's buying this sort of stuff, he doesn't even want to imagine what would happen if Rita Skeeter found out…

"Okay then, do you have the money?" asked Davy

"Yep" replied Harry and he handed Davy £220 in notes.

"This will get you through the first month" said Davy passing a bag over to Harry and pocketing the money Harry gave him. Harry raised his eyebrows, that was a lot of stuff for only £220.

"I know, I got it at a discounted price due to some troubles..." said Davy

"What happened?" asked Will

"You don't want to know, but on the plus side we have a stash of coke that should last us a while" replied Davy brightly

"So what about after the first month of school? Are you gonna send me some stuff?" asked Harry.

"Course we are" replied Davy "You got the address?"

"Yeah" said Harry getting out a piece of paper "You just have to write the address on it then my name underneath it". Hogwarts had developed a system for muggle borns to easily contact the school if they needed to. The muggles were given an address to send it to, where a muggle post man can deliver it to, then the letter is forwarded on to Hogwarts by owls.

"Okay, then you send your money to this address" said Davy handing a piece of paper to Harry. "Its Summers house address, it's less obvious then mine, no one will search though any of her post"

"Sounds good" said Harry

"Next thing to think about is how we are going to conceal the stuff we send you. Does your school check packages? I know some do" said Davy

Harry thought about it. Last year Umbridge had intercepted all his letters and with Voldemort getting stronger certain precautions with the mail coming in and out might be in place, especially for him. But they will most likely be looking for dark objects or curses Harry thought. It's unlikely they'll think to look for drugs or alcohol.

"It's possible that they'll be checking some packages" Harry said

"Okay we've dealt with stuff like that before, we'll just find a way to hide them in something else or sneak it in some other way maybe..."

"Its fine" said Harry "It's not like airport security. As long as it's not just a bag of weed lying around in an envelope then it should be fine"

"We can work round that" replied Davy nodding and helping himself to some more vodka.

Harry joined in and started to down the vodka Davy offered him. The usual happy feeling from the alcohol started to flow around him as he felt all his troubles go away.

Harry arrived back 'home' at 5am and climbed through his window and wondered whether he should try to get some sleep or not. Recently he had been having more and more nightmares courtesy of Voldemort. He had been waking up more due to the visions he was getting from him, usually involving him torturing somebody or plotting things, quite often Harry's death. Sighing he decided against it right away and went back to doing some press ups and sit ups until he crashed an hour later. Two hours later, just before his aunt was going to call him for breakfast, he snorted some coke from his desk and went to wash up quickly before his other relatives got up.

Snape was due to come in two days for their last Occlumency lesson before term started again. For the last three weeks he had been careful to make sure he had a fairly good night's sleep the day before and tried to make sure he didn't have too much of a hangover. But he decided seeing as it's the last lesson and the holidays would be practically over; it wouldn't matter what state Harry was in, no one was going to take him away a few days before leaving. He could tell that Dumbledore had asked Snape to check up on him after seeing him with the bruise. Dumbledore always interfered.

The Order had just had their last meeting before Hogwarts would start again. They were discussing the new security measures that would be in place round the school and making a time table for the members to come and guard the school. At the end of the meeting Dumbledore had asked Snape to stay behind, for what he presumed would be about his spying on Voldemort. Snape had discovered that Voldemort was planning to attack a muggle village in Cornwall in the next week and they had been making preparations for this all week. However, to Snape's annoyance, the headmaster wanted to talk about Potter again.

"How is Harry doing Severus?" asked Dumbledore

"The same as last time headmaster, he's still unable to show any capability of Occlumency" said Snape

"I mean how is he himself? Anything else unusual?" asked the headmaster concerned

"No professor, nothing had changed, he's the same as usual" replied Snape getting annoyed, he had already told Dumbledore everything he had seen while at potter's relative's house.

"Hmm" replied Dumbledore

"Why do you ask headmaster? I gave you my report on him last week" said Snape

"You are aware who Arabella Figg is?" asked Dumbledore

"Yes, she lives on Potters street" replied Snape

"Well she informed me a couple of days ago that she saw Harry climbing through his window back into his house at 6 in the morning when she was letting her cat in" said Dumbledore

"That is most peculiar" agreed Snape with an impassive face

"Indeed" said Dumbledore "She said it was though he sneaking back in from somewhere, but from what I'm aware he doesn't have anywhere to go around Little winging"

"Fool" said Snape harshly "Everyone is trying to protect him and he's sneaking off to walk around at night"

"Now now Severus, this was only once, we don't know what's going on yet"

Snape merely nodded. He didn't think taking protection of Harry's house was the best idea in the world. But Dumbledore said it was okay seeing as there were no plans of Voldemort about an attack on Harry's and he promised to stay in the house all summer.

"What do you suggest we do?" asked Snape icily

"Nothing Severus, he only had a few days left there. The sooner we get him out of there the better" said Dumbledore

Snape just nodded again and was dismissed. Harry bloody Potter he thought, he can't just do what he's told, even with the most simplest of tasks like staying in his house. Even though he hated the boy he still could sense there was something not right about him since Sirius's death. The boy had changed for the worst. It would be interesting to see what he's like back in Hogwarts he thought to himself.

The next two days went by in a blur for Harry. He and his group had been celebrating so much in the last few days knowing that they soon had to go back to school and work. Harry had hardly slept at all in the last 40 hours or so and was completely relying on coke to keep him awake. He was so stoned he couldn't feel any of the bruises on his stomach and back anymore that he had received the other night from a fight with someone he couldn't quite remember, which was strange because he swore he had a few cracked ribs but he couldn't feel a thing.

It was after his chores when his body finally crashed and he fell unconscious on his bedroom floor. He had completely forgotten about Snape's lesson due to him completely losing his sense of time in the last few days but was reminded quite aggressively by his dear aunt.

He woke up to his aunt roughly nudging him in his ribs with her foot. Harry winced where she kicked him, finally feeling the pain he had avoided for the last few days.

"Get up now you lazy child!" yelled his aunt "Your _teacher _has arrived, we're not answering it"

Shit! Harry thought to himself as his aunt quickly walked out of the room. He felt so ill, like he had the flu and he had been unconscious for two hours now. He ran down the stairs and quickly put on a large hoodie and opened the door to find his professor there.

"About time potter-" he started coldly but then stopped suddenly looking Harry over, he looked quite shocked for a moment but then quickly went back to impassive. But Harry still noticed, he didn't think he looked that bad even though he felt like shit. He desperately needed a hit but he couldn't risk doing it while Snape was here. He would have to wait.

He led him up to his bedroom and Snape started entering his mind again. Harry was able to change the direction of the incriminating memories so Snape wouldn't see anything too bad but he still found it hard to actually push Snape out of his mind.

"Potter, are you incapable of any kind of improvement?" Snape snarled

Harry picked himself off of the floor and sat back down in his chair. His body was craving for some kind of release; coke, weed, alcohol, just anything that could make him feel better. Snape stopped his rant for a moment and looked at Harry's hands that were visibly shaking.

Snape sighed "Potter are you ill?" asked Snape

"No"

"Really? Because your hands seem to indicate otherwise" said Snape snidely

Harry raised his hands mockingly "Huh" he said "That's strange". He then hid his hands in the long sleeves of his hoodie and crossed his arms and stare back defiantly at Snape. He would kill for a line of coke right now. Snape was still staring at him fidgeting and Harry clenched his fists to try stop the shaking, digging his nails into his palm. The pain this caused him gave him a very small release and he relaxed slightly while mentally telling himself over and over in just over an hour he can take drugs again.

"Potter stop wasting my time, if you are sick then there is no point having this session" said Snape angrily

"Okay then I'm sick" replied Harry hoping he escaped doing Occlumency with Snape for the rest of the holidays. Snape noticed this and looked into Harry's eyes properly for the first time today. He noticed how they were glazed and bloodshot and how dilated his pupils are. He'd seen this before with some of his students...

"Potter have you taken any illegal _substances _in the last 24 hours?" asked Snape. He thought about how he'd been acting in the holidays and how he'd been seen sneaking out his house at night.

Harry raised his eyebrows. He never thought he'd have this conversation with Snape.

"Drugs sir?" asked Harry innocently

"Yes potter drugs and don't even think about lying to me"

"Where would I get drugs from?" asked Harry, who was now really hoping he wasn't still being watched 24/7 by members of the order.

"Answer the question" replied Snape coldly

"No I don't take drugs" replied Harry dully.

Snape looked into his eyes again, this time trying to look for any evidence that he was lying. Harry kept trying to clear his mind and think about random things like walking round school and Quidditch. It seemed to work for now but the potions master was still suspicious.

They left their lesson there after deciding Harry was too ill to carry on. Snape thought about the possibility of Harry taking drugs. He didn't think potter had it in him but at the same time it would be typical of the attention seeking brat to pull a stunt like this he thought to himself.

Harry didn't even wait for his professor to leave the house this time. As soon as he walked out his bedroom door he rushed over to his jacket where he had some cocaine left over from last night and started to line it up on his desk. 'That was a close one' he thought while inwardly laughing to himself.

**A/N: **I've decided from the reviews that I am going to keep Davy and that group in the story when he goes back to Hogwarts. He will probably find a way to sneak out or something.

Please review and tell me how I'm doing and if you have any good ideas


	6. Chapter 6

**Hooked **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Child abuse, drug abuse, fairly bad language

**A/N: **Took me a while to write this one, didn't know exactly how to fill the time in between him being at the Dursleys and Harry returning to Hogwarts.

Thank you again to everyone that has reviewed. Hope you enjoy :)

**Chapter Six**

Harry was waiting nervously for his headmaster to pick him up from the Dursleys and take him to the burrow. He had received a letter from Dumbledore explaining he'd be meeting Harry at 11pm and that they'd hopefully be at the Weasley's by 12. It was now 10.50pm and Harry was waiting in his room with everything packed and was fidgeting on his bed. He'd stupidly been out all night which really didn't help his already worsened appearance from last term. However given the chance he would probably have done it again as it was the last night he would spend with Davy and everyone for a long time now. He knew that Dumbledore would know that something wasn't right, he was slightly nervous about this but at the same time he was glad. In a way he was glad that Dumbledore would know he was in pain. His thoughts were completely split when it came to Dumbledore right at the moment.

In one way he hated him. If only he had told Harry about the visions and the prophecy earlier then he could have expected Voldemort to try and trick him into the hall of prophecies and he wouldn't have been so eager to go. That way Sirius wouldn't have died. Also, if he was told, he could have perhaps gone to get the prophecy for Dumbledore, and then it could have been destroyed. It's not as though they couldn't get to it, the whole order had been guarding it for almost a year, and it would have been easy to go get it. But the other side of him realises that although after everything that has happened and all the mistakes Dumbledore has made, he knows that the man does truly care for him. And in the end, when he's in the final battle, Dumbledore will make it as easy as possible for him and guide him on the way. Even while knowing this, he still felt completely alone, isolated from everyone else. No one understood him. Except Sirius. He was an outcast too.

Harry had made sure he was under control and not too high for his meeting with Dumbledore. He decided that although it would be satisfying to see Dumbledore's reaction to him being completely stoned but in the end it would cause more trouble than it's worth. All of his stash was hidden deep inside his trunk where no one would find them. He looked out of his window waiting for a sign that Dumbledore was here. Finally Harry saw the all the street lights switch off and his old headmaster walk into the light from the Dursleys front porch. Oh yeah he probably should have told the Dursleys about this visit... he thought to himself

Harry quickly ran downstairs as his uncle opened the front door to find an old man dressed in bold purple robes holding a wand.

"Who the hell are you?" started Harry's uncle

"Ah, I see Harry did not inform you of my visit. I am professor Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts"

"How dare-" started Vernon

"I hate to interrupt what would have no doubt been a rude display on my behalf, but in these troubled times I suggest we take this conversation inside the house" said Dumbledore stepping into the house passed a gobsmacked Vernon. Harry tried not to laugh; this was going to be interesting.

"Ah Harry have you got your things ready?" asked the headmaster noticing Harry on the dark stairway.

"I'll go get them now sir"

He heaved all of his things down the stairs and into the hallway where his headmaster was humming and looking around the place, while his aunt and uncle were looking angry and tense from a distance. When Harry stepped into the light he felt those x-ray eyes of Dumbledore's on him. Harry quickly started trying to clear his mind and turned to look at the headmaster, though not directly in the eye.

"Got everything sir" he said

"Good, good, off we go then"

Harry turned to walk out the door but was distracted when Dumbledore turned around and spoke to the Dursleys

"Aren't you going to say good bye?" he asked his aunt and uncle

"Bye" snarled Uncle Vernon, wanting very much to say something else

"Bye" Harry replied lamely rolling his eyes

"I have to say I'm very saddened by your attitude Petunia, you can't show even the smallest bit of compassion to your own sister's son or even make the effort to say good bye? She would be very disappointed" Dumbledore said coldly.

Before either of them replied (which Vernon looked like he was trying to gain the courage to do) Dumbledore had turned around and shut the door. Harry did just manage to see his aunts face though; it looked somewhat remorseful, for a second anyway. Why did that affect him so much? He wondered. Probably because for the whole of his childhood he had wanted some kind of reaction out of her besides anger or resentment, maybe some kind of guilt or connection as it was her sister as well as his mother he though bitterly. All of these feelings just made him hate her even more. At least he could get out of here in less than a year now.

Harry noticed now that they had been walking in silence for several minutes while he was thinking. It was soon broken by the headmaster.

"Are you feeling any better Harry? Professor Snape mentioned you were not feeling well at your last lesson" said Dumbledore looking concerned

"Yes sir, I feel much better" replied Harry with a slight smile

Slight embarrassment now joined in with his mixed emotions, due to the fact the last time he and the headmaster spoke he trashed his office. Though he had deserved it...

"I'm glad to hear it" said professor Dumbledore. "Okay I think we can stop here"

The headmaster directed Harry over to a wide deserted alley way and turned to look at him.

"I don't suppose you've ever apparated Harry?" he asked

"No sir, we learn later on in the year"

"Okay, well hold onto my arm tight and I will guide you" said the professor. "It may be a little uncomfortable" he added

Harry felt himself being pulled away and compressed. He found it hard to breath for a few seconds then opened his eyes and saw they hand landed about 100m away from the burrow.

"Harry, before we head off, I just wanted to tell you how proud your parents and Sirius would be if they could see you now"

'Yeah right' thought Harry

"Thank you sir" replied he replied politely with a small smile

Dumbledore carried on looking at Harry hoping he might say something else, when he didn't he continued

"If you ever need to talk about anything you can come to me at any time"

"Thanks professor" said Harry, shame you didn't say that last year he thought bitterly

With that they both head over to the burrow to be greeted by a surprised Molly who immediately started to fuss over Harry and the headmaster.

xxxxx

It was mid evening the next day and Harry found himself slumped up against the bathroom wall in the Weasley's house. He was staring up at the sky through the window peacefully, savouring the high he was on after the stressful day he had.

Nothing too bad happened since he had arrived at the burrow, just the constant questions about him being ill, how he was dealing with Sirius's death and the prophecy and the nervous glances he kept getting. As soon as he walked through the door last night Mrs Weasley practically had a heart attack when she saw him. She kept complaining how thin and pale he was and whether he was ill. His signature bruised cheek and bandaged wrist didn't help either. She straight away forced him to eat a large plate of casserole and fussed over the fading bruise on his face and interrogating him on how he got it. Harry noticed Dumbledore watching him carefully and replied easily that he fell down the stairs. Both adults at this point gave Harry an obvious look.

"Well, more pushed by that idiot cousin of mine" Harry had added quickly with a small laugh to make it less suspicious.

Mrs Weasley had then spent the next 5 minutes applying some kind of bruising lotion to his face while complaining about the Dursleys manners then sent him off to bed.

Then the next day he was awoken by Ron and Hermione. He was pleased to see them but they straight away launched into questions about how he was dealing with everything that had happened last year and then kept going on about how different he looked. Nice friends he thought sarcastically. But he knew they were honestly just concerned for him and once he convinced them he was fine, just ill, they were able to spend an okay day together in Diagon alley. Fred and Georges shop had been amazing but the rest of the place had really gone downhill since the return of Voldemort. That was just another reminder of what he was up against.

Harry was brought out of his thoughts a minute later by someone banging on the door

"Harry when you're ready mate we're playing a big game of chess downstairs and Bill had some stuff to show us that he got from Egypt last year" came Ron's voice.

Harry tried to steady himself

"I'll come down in a minute" he said mentally cursing himself for slurring so much.

Ron frowned at the door where Harry was then shrugged and made his way downstairs. Harry slashed his face with water then drank some hoping to sober himself up a bit. He then went downstairs and joined all the Weasley children (except Percy) and Hermione. The rest of the adults were having an order meeting back at Grimauld place.

"Y'alright Harry?" asked Fred

"Yeah am fine" said Harry sniffing "You?" he said mentally cursing himself for how his speech changed when he was high, but it seemed to go unnoticed

"Good mate, we have some things to show you for the joke shop" said Fred

"We're starting to create more defensive things now that could help the order out, they would have been useful last year against Umbridge actually" added George

"Sounds good" said Harry distractedly sitting down on the end of the sofa that occupied Ginny and Ron.

Harry just sat amongst the chatter between everyone, not really joining in just staring into space with glazed eyes. Hermione was watching him closely, she knew something was wrong ever since Sirius went but she hoped he would get better after some time away. She saw Bill give Harry a strange look then look over to Charlie who was giving a knowing look back to Bill. Hermione walked over into the kitchen pretending to refill her glass of water then on her way back to the lounge she sat on the arm of the sofa next to Harry and tried talking to him.

"You okay Harry?" she asked tentatively. She saw Bill watching them out of the corner of her eye.

"Yeah am fine Hermione"

"You sure, you still look a bit ill to me..." she said. She had been slightly shocked when she first saw him, he had gained some muscle but at the same time looked thinner and tired but he and Mrs Weasley assured her he was just ill.

"I'm fine Hermione" he replied "Actually, I think I'll go get some fresh air"

Bill and Charlie watched Harry slip outside into the back yard and Hermione watched them exchange bewildered looks. The rest of the people in the room however didn't notice a thing and carried on chatting.

As soon as he got outside Harry made sure no one else was around and took out a cigarette and started smoking taking long drags. There was no way he could keep all this up for another year he thought to himself. He had already studied at the Dursleys and found a good glamour he could use once he could do magic again but it would only help a bit as Hermione seemed to be as aware as ever recently, she was already suspicious. He wished Davy and the gang were here to cheer him up, he started to wonder what the rest of the gang would be doing right now when his thoughts were interrupted by the back door opening.

Harry turned around quickly to see a mildly surprised Bill standing in the doorway

"Hi Bill" said Harry casually taking another drag on his cigarette

"Hey Harry" he replied uncertainly, when did he start smoking? Bill thought to himself. He saw Harry looking at him expectedly and realised that he had been asking him a question.

"Sorry what?" asked Bill

"How was Egypt?" asked Harry with a small smile hoping Bill would just go away

"Yeah it was good, lots of new findings during the last year, shame I had to come back really" replied Bill. With the news that the Dark lord had definitely returned most the curse breakers had been called back closer to home to guard Gringotts bank.

"But" Bill carried on "at least I get to spend more time with the family"

"Yeah, that's good" replied Harry distantly, his eyes were also distant and staring off into space.

"Anyway I've been sent to come fetch you, dinners going to be ready in 5 minutes" said Bill finally

"Okay, thanks" replied Harry not looking at him and carried on staring out. Bill turned back into the house to go help his brother Charlie set the table.

"He looked completely out of it" commented Charlie in a low voice

"I know" said Bill with half a smile "Do you think he is?"

"I don't know... I don't really know him that well but I doubt he would ever do weed" said Charlie with a small laugh

Bill nodded at this. After years of sharing a dorm at Hogwarts with two complete stoners he knew how people on drugs acted. He wondered about Harry, but it was just so unlike him or Ron to do that. As far as he knew he was a fairly shy, polite and occasionally cocky kid, not the party type he knew took drugs. Maybe he was just really tired; the others did say he was supposed to be ill he thought to himself.

xxxxxx

It was 2 days later and Harry found himself dragging his luggage onto the Hogwarts express closely followed by Ron, Hermione and Ginny. Mr and Mrs Weasley, along with their two oldest children, had come to see them off to Hogwarts. The order had said it would be okay to go to the train station unescorted as long as Bill and Charlie went as well just to make sure no one tried to harm Harry on the way. Harry figured this must mean that Voldemort was preoccupied at the moment, which was never a good thing. They made the journey to the station in good time (helped by the official ministry cars for Harry's protection) and no problems occurred on the way.

Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny had all found a compartment near the end of the train with Neville and Luna. After a few quick greetings and putting their trunks away Ron and Hermione rushed out to go to a prefect meeting being held on the train to prepare them for a new year.

"How were your holidays?" asked Harry in general to the compartment

"Good thanks, how about you Harry?" asked Neville with a hint of concern in his voice. He vaguely knew that Sirius was important to Harry. He had been shocked when he read in the Daily Prophet the revelations about Sirius Black and his innocence. No one in the wizarding world had seen that one coming.

"It was okay" said Harry trying his best to smile at Neville. He was starting to feel a bit jittery and there was a light feeling in his chest, like he needed to get out or scream or do something. This feeling had been growing for days now, he hoped once he got in castle and he realised everything is okay that the feeling would go away.

Luna broke the silence

"I had a great holiday" she started with her dreamy voice "Me and my father went to Sweden searching for Keops and researching their habitats"

"What are Keops?" asked Neville curiously

"They're mystical creatures that lurk on the fur of other animals and try to drain their magical powers" stated Luna, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Harry smiled at her, she reminded him so much of Summer, he wish he could talk to her now... that reminded him of the mobile he still had in his pocket, maybe he could call her?

"Hey do any of you guys know how to make electricity work in Hogwarts?" asked Harry hopefully

"I think there are some spells for music players and game boys, stuff like that. The spell isolates the electricity away from the magic so it doesn't interfere" replied Ginny thoughtfully which surprised Harry a bit as he expected her to be useless ad Ron when it came to muggle stuff.

Harry inwardly sighed. That wouldn't be good enough, mobiles needed a signal, they couldn't just be isolated.

"I don't suppose you would know how to make a mobile phone work then?" asked Harry doubtfully

"I think you can actually. Wizards are starting to look into some muggle stuff like phones and TV's and they've found a few things that make them compatible"

"My Nan was talking about something like that the other day, I've never heard of mobiles though" said Neville looking at the mobile phone curiously Harry had taken out.

"I know mobiles work if you go far enough out of Hogsmeade, my friend Amy used to go to this point on a hill where she could call her muggle boyfriend back home" said Ginny

The four carried on talking about their holidays and new wizarding technology for an hour before Hermione and Ron re-entered the compartment and joined in. Harry mostly stayed silent and stared out the window trying to squash the nervous giddy feeling he had. He looked down and realized that his hands were starting to shake. He quickly excused himself and went off to the bathroom down the hall, while trying to ignore all the obvious stares he had been getting from the other students.

He locked the small toilets door and pulled the toilet lid down and got out a cigarette he had hidden in his jacket pocket and started to smoke. He then got out a small box of sweets. He opened the box and instead of sweets there was a small clear packet of cocaine. He took some out with a shaky hand and put it on the toilet lid and cut it up into two lines while taking a long drag of the cigarette still in his mouth. The shaking couldn't have been due to withdrawals because his tolerance wasn't that high and he'd had some earlier today, it must be nerves or anxiety he thought to himself. He was going to try and wait until he got to the castle to do this but the thought of having to deal with everything for the next 4 or so hours without anything to give him a boost was killing him.

He got a 5 pound note and rolled it up, he briefly took the cigarette out of his mouth and snorted the two lines with the note and slumped back against the door.

He let himself relax a while and then began cleaning up. Still smoking, he cleared away the coke and climbed onto the toilet lid and opened a small window near the ceiling to get rid of the smell of smoke. After he finished the cigarette he chucked it out the window and sprayed himself.

After almost ten minutes Harry came back to the compartment sniffing and rubbing his nose. He felt a lot better now, much more relaxed. The nervous energy had turned into good energy (so he thought) and he felt the stiffness in his chest leave and was more able to talk now.

"You're not ill again are you Harry?" asked Hermione watching him sniffing

"Nah I'm fine, just hay fever. Wow" Harry said "Do we usually go this fast?" he said while staring out the window at the blurred colours rushing by.

Hermione and Ron looked at him.

"Same speed as usual mate" said Ron with a laugh

"Cool" replied Harry

Hermione looked like she was going to say something but then got dragged into a conversation with Ginny about the latest news involving death eaters.

They carried on talking about the death eater attacks, department of mysteries and Voldemorts return until finally, hours later, they arrived at Hogsmeade station and made their way up to the castle in the theastral driven carriages. Harry looked out the carriage window apprehensively up at the castle. This was going to be a long year.

**A/N: **Don't worry I am going to be keeping Davy and the gang in the story and there will probably be more Snape in the story too. I really liked the interactions between Harry and Snape so I will continue with that.

Please review and tell me how I'm doing and if you have any good ideas. Thanks for reading :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Hooked **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Child abuse, drug abuse, fairly bad language

**A/N: **Thanks for all the great reviews I've been getting, sorry for any spelling mistakes I make, hope you enjoy :)

**Chapter Seven**

Hermione, Ron and Harry made their way into the great hall for the start of term feast and sat in their usual places on the Gryffindor table. Heads turned as Harry walked in and at least half the hall was standing up to get a glimpse of 'the-chosen-one'. Harry just tried to keep his head up high and ignore the staring and the whispers. He wished people would stop looking at him though. He didn't deserve the attention or the awed looks, he shouldn't be rewarded for getting someone killed.

Once he had sat down he scanned the hall for people he knew. He saw some of the Ravenclaw friends he made last year during DA and his other friends from Hufflepuff like Ernie and Hannah. He then looked over towards the Slytherin table and spotted Draco Malfoy and his goons. Harry knew he needed to be wary of Malfoy after the Department of Mysteries last year. He made it clear that he wanted revenge and he could easily get help from his fellow Slytherins as most of their dads are death eaters. He really needed to watch his back this year and he would start by making a list of all the people he would need to look out for and training more so he was ready when the next attack came. Knowing Harry's luck, it would be pretty soon. He laid his head on the tabled waiting for the food to come.

"Harry?" he heard someone say in his ear while prodding him

"Harry! Wake up!"

Harry opened his eyes and looked up to see the table covered in food of every kind and drinks. Hermione backed off seeing he was now awake.

"Was happen?" asked Harry sleepily sitting up and sniffing and rubbing his nose. Seamus and Dean, who were sitting by him, laughed at him.

"You bored Harry?" laughed Seamus. Harry just have a small laugh and turned to Hermione.

"You fell asleep during the sorting" said Hermione

"Lucky him, he didn't have to listen to sorting hat go on and on" said Ron

"Ron it had some pretty important information in that song about you know who"

"Yeah whatever" replied Ron "You missed Dumbledore's speech as well"

"Anything interesting?" asked Harry

"Just some stuff about you-know-who and how we must all stay united, the usual" said Ron

"Hmm" said Harry. He couldn't believe he fell asleep at the Gryffindor table, if he wanted to keep on using at Hogwarts he would have to try and disguise it better.

After the feast everyone was completely full, except for Harry who barely touched his food as he was starting to feel sick. Everyone was making their way out of the hall when Malfoy decided to make his presence known.

"How were your holidays Potter?" Draco started "I heard your dog died" he shouted across the entrance hall.

"Say that again Malfoy to my face" shouted Harry back. This was the one good thing about coming back to Hogwarts; he could hurt somebody, somebody who deserved it. He had spent most the holidays feeling angry with no release besides quite a few drunken fights, quite a few he had managed to win, but this would be better. Draco wasn't just some random drunk guy that made a bad comment or started harassing a friend. Draco had tried to pick on him for years now for no reason, his family have tried to kill him on numerous occasions now and his dear aunt killed his only father figure. All this and everything Harry has been through in his life and this rich kid comes to make fun of him, it made him want to kill someone.

Malfoy being the arrogant idiot he is strutted over to where he and a few other Gryffindor were standing, with some of his Slytherin mates for support.

"Harry come on, just ignore it" started Hermione but was interrupted by Malfoy

"Aww what's the matter Potter, has-" but Malfoy was cut off as Harry punched him square in the face. Draco's 'guards' came straight over to check he was okay and Crabbe and Goyle started towards Harry threateningly.

"Get him!" shouted Draco.

Before anyone else had time to react Goyle punched Harry in the jaw and Harry punched him in the gut. Everyone in the entrance hall was watching as people were walking over to Harry to back him up in the fight, which was three against one right now, when Snape burst through the dungeon doors.

"What's going on here?" said Snape coldly

Harry ignored him and looked at Draco

"What Malfoy? Can you only win when it's three against one?"

"Ahh Mr Potter" said Snape with a smirk "Barley an hour in school and you've already started a fight. 40 points off Gryffindor"

As the Slytherins smirked as the Gryffindor students were about to argue he shouted to the rest of the hall

"Go up to your dormitories immediately. Now"

"Not you potter" he continued "You come with me"

Harry followed Snape's fast pace down to the dungeons leading towards his office.

"My, my Potter. One day in and you've already got your first detention. This added to the four I gave you in the holidays looks you'll be spending a whole week cleaning cauldrons and sorting out the stock room" said Snape snidely

"Whatever" Harry replied impassively, trying to ignore his comments. He hated Snape so much right now.

Snape looked down at the boy who still looked so ill. It doesn't look like he's improved much health wise from their last Occlumency lesson. They went into Snape's office and organised the detentions he would be having along with more snarky comments from Snape. Snape decided Harry would come round at 7pm every night until Saturday. However Harry left the Dungeons in a fairly good mood, to him a whole month of detentions would have been worth the look on Malfoys face after he punched him in the face.

"Harry I can't believe you just did that!" said Hermione as soon as he joined them in the Gryffindor common room. On his way to his usual table people kept patting his back congratulating him.

"Good on you mate, he's been asking for it for years" said Ron laughing

"Ron! He just punched someone in front of the whole school" said Hermione scandalised

"You mean like you did in the third year?" Harry replied with mocking concern

"Yes, well, that was different" said Hermione blushing

Ron and Harry raised their eyebrows at her

"Harry I just worry about you, you can't let him get to you that easily" said Hermione seriously

"Its fine Hermione, it wasn't even a proper fight" said Harry flippantly

"Goyle did get you in the stomach" said Ron with concern in his voice "It did look pretty painful..."

His stomach had been quite uncomfortable on his way up to the common room, but it wasn't that painful so he dismissed it.

"Its fine, for such a big guy he really can't punch properly" said Harry jokingly

"Okay mate, if you say so" said Ron disbelievingly

Harry said goodnight to everyone and made his way up to the dormitories. He sat on his bed and started some of the charms he had learnt in the holidays. One of them was a silencing charm for when he occasionally started screaming blue murder in the middle of the night. The second charm was for himself and was a glamour charm. It would start to make him look healthier and less like a junkie. The charm had strengths and he would simply strengthen it a bit each day so it looks like he's gradually getting healthier, as though he is really recovering from an illness. He put a weak glamour on himself now and would continue to strengthen it every night.

Before actually going to sleep Harry made his way into the dormitory bathrooms, which in Harry's opinion were the perfect design for him to hide out or take drugs when he needed to without suspicion. The bathroom was made up of fully concealed cubicles with toilets in them on one side and showers on the other side. There were no gaps in the cubicles, just a proper door with a lock, so nobody could see smoke coming from out of them or peer through any gaps and see what he was doing.

He went into one of the toilet cubicles and locked the door. He got out his bottle of whiskey that Davy had gotten him and took a long swig, then he reached for a roll up in his hidden pocket in his jacket and lit up. He felt the phone inside his pocket that summer had given him. Right now he couldn't even turn the phone on properly; he would need to get the charm to fix that first. He took a long drag of the spliff, wishing he could be with Davy and summer again. They would make things feel better.

The next day everyone was gathered in the great hall for breakfast while the years timetable was been handed out. Harry reluctantly made his way over to Ron and Hermione, if it wasn't for the timetable he wouldn't have bothered coming down for breakfast. Like last night, he tried to ignore all the stares coming his way, except these stares were for a whole different reason completely then last night. As he sat down in his usual place he looked over towards the Slytherin table but he couldn't see any sign of Malfoy and his crew yet.

"Hey" said Ron

"Harry you're looking much better then yesterday, are you feeling any better?" started Hermione

"Hi guys, and yes Hermione, I'm feeling better" replied Harry simply

"You heard anything from Malfoy yet?" asked Ron in a low voice while piling some bacon onto his plate.

"Nah, not yet" replied Harry tiredly, despite his fake appearance, he was tired and on a come down from all the stuff he took last night. He spent most of the night in the bathroom exercising and just simply walking about. To do this he had to put a silencing charm on the door and a sensory charm to alert him if anyone came out of bed in the night to use the bathroom.

Hermione looked like she was going to comment on Harry's currently empty plate when he interrupted her.

"Hermione, do you know anything and magic and phones? You know, like how to make a mobile work in Hogwarts?" asked Harry hoping that she wouldn't ask too many questions.

"I think there are some spells you could try... wizards are starting to incorporate muggle technology into their world, I could have a look for you. Why do you ask?" asked Hermione curiously

"I got a mobile over the summer, just thought it would be useful" said Harry. He decided he wouldn't mention anything about Davy and the others here. They were two different lives and he wanted to keep them separate. Plus Hermione and the Order might get suspicious of them.

"I could put a magic concealing charm on it for now so you can at least switch it on?"

"Okay" replied Harry giving the mobile to Hermione. She muttered a spell under her breath and handed it back to Harry who promptly turned the phone on.

"Cool" muttered Ron watching the phone "So you can call other muggles with that? Like anywhere else in the world?" he asked amazed

"Yeah, these have been around for ages now" said Harry while discreetly looking through his phones pictures from summer.

"You really need to catch up Ron" said Hermione disapprovingly.

The three of them received their timetables and headed off to their first lesson, Transfiguration. Today they were starting human transfigurations starting off with theory on changing hair colours. As professor McGonagall was talking Harry was sat at the back with Ron and Hermione and zoning out thinking about the summer he had. Davy and the rest would probably be asleep at this time of the day, except the girls maybe, he knew they had jobs. Did they go to school? He thought to himself, high school would have finished for them by now and they would have 6th form or college. He didn't even know what they were doing yet.

"Mr Potter!" shouted a sharp voice breaking his daydreaming

"Wha?" said Harry dreamily lifting his head off the desk, when he moved though he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. He looked around to see an angry professor McGonagall staring at him.

"Potter would you please pay attention! I asked you, what are the components for Larentia's theory?"

Harry shrugged impassively with his head still resting on his hand. Why was his stomach hurting? He thought to himself.

"See me after class potter"

The lesson carried on and Harry was ignoring Hermione's disapproving glances. He hadn't had a hit since yesterday and hadn't slept much and it was starting to take a toll on him. His hands had started shaking a bit and he was finding it hard to use a quill, pens would have been so much easier right now. As soon as he was out of this lesson he would go straight back up to the dormitories to get some coke and maybe sneak a cigarette too. It was okay today as he had a free period next which would be handy for the next year for his habits.

After class he went to McGonagall to lose 5 points for Gryffindor and be told off about the fight with Malfoy the night before and for the daydreaming.

"I hope this is not the type of behaviour I will be seeing from you for the rest of the year Mr Potter"

And with that she dismissed him and he met up with Ron and Hermione and they headed back to the common room.

Harry walked into the bathroom wincing as he walked, he had just excused himself from Ron and Hermione and desperately needed a hit. By now his stomach was really hurting; he went up to the mirror out of curiosity and lifted up his shirt.

"Fuck" he muttered to himself. His stomach had purple bruising all in the centre where Goyle had hit him yesterday. He didn't understand, it didn't hurt him at the time, why did it hurt now? Then he remembered the drugs. Cocaine was also a kind of painkiller, so was cannabis and the alcohol also numbs nerves, or something like that he thought to himself. Now the effects are wearing off he can feel it again.

He just stared in the mirror for ages, had he done so much self medicating that he can't feel bruises that big? He knew this was bad but at the same time he wished he had had some of this stuff when he was younger, when he was really injured.

He locked himself in a cubical and started cutting up lines of coke. He snorted the lines and sat back against the wall and let himself drift off. He felt his energy come back and pain the pain all over his body started to subside. He then got out the smaller whiskey bottle he brought with him and took a few mouthfuls. Alcohol always made the high better. He didn't usually drink like this this early in the day but what was the point of staying in pain?

After 5 minutes Harry bounced back up and went back down to see Ron and Hermione.

"Hey guys!" he said cheerfully

"Hi" said Ron uncertainly looking at Harry slightly strangely

"We're just starting the homework Professor McGonagall set us" said Hermione watching Harry as he was fidgeting about in his chair

"Homework already? It's the first day back! Anyone fancy a jog?"

Ron and Hermione stared at him dumbfounded. Harry started sniffing again.

"Harry are you ill again?" asked Hermione slightly worried

"Yeah, since when have you wanted to jog?" asked Ron, the thought of extra exercise making him tired.

"I'm fine! Just bored, I've practically been locked up all summer, I feel like running somewhere" said Harry calmly

Hermione relaxed a bit. "Well you don't have enough time to go running yet... we only have half an hour before double charms"

"Fine" said Harry exasperated "Homework it is"

Harry started writing enthusiastically on the parchment on the subject McGonagall had set.

"Merlin Harry, how'd you get so much ink on your hands?" asked Ron 20 minutes later as they were packing up their things read to go to charms.

Harry looked down and laughed to seeing that his hands were covered in ink, as was his sheet of finished homework.

It was 6.45pm and Harry was making his way down to the dungeons for his first of many detentions with professor Snape. He felt like shit and the feeling was only mildly improved by the extra whiskey he had instead of going down to the great hall for dinner. As he made his way down the empty corridors he gave into his cravings and decided it would be safe enough to have a cigarette. He lit up on a 4th floor corridor and made his way slowly down to the dungeons. Instead of getting there through the entrance hall he decided to take a secret passageway so he could enjoy smoking without getting caught.

10 minutes later he left the passage way that went into the dungeon and took a big drag of his cigarette and turned towards Snape's office. But as he did turn he bumped into somebody and they dropped the books they were carrying in their arms. He recognised the guy to be Blaise something, he scowled and Harry from the floor while picking up his things and Harry replied simply by blowing out the smoke he'd been holding in and stubbing out the cigarette on the floor with his foot.

"Soz" he said defiantly

"Dumb ass potter, watch where the fuck your going" said Blaise eying Harry and the cigarette suspiciously. He then stormed off.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes, stupid Slytherins he thought to himself. He went and banged on the potions masters door and waited for a reply. The door magically opened and he saw Snape at his desk marking essays. He briefly looked up at him and told him to sit on the chair opposite him.

"You will spend the next week cleaning and re-organising the student stock cupboard, if it is not done to my standards then I will make you come back until it is done properly. Understand?" asked Snape coldly

"Yeah. _Sir_"

Snape gave him another cold look.

"We also have the matter of Occlumency lessons. They will now be every Monday at 7pm, I think once a week will suffice for now. You may start" said Snape gesturing towards the student stock cupboard.

Harry reluctantly made his way towards the cupboard and started sorting out all of the potions. He carried on for the next 2 and a half hours until he was dismissed so he wasn't held past curfew.

Harry lit up another cigarette not caring if he got caught after all the time he had just spent in that cupboard. He took his time going back to the common room all the while dreading the next 4 nights with Snape.

**A/N: **Finally back to Hogwarts!It's only taken 6 chapters lol

I know Davy and the gang haven't been in two chapters now but I think I will try and find a way for them to be in the next one.

I do love the stories about Harry in a downwards spiral of drugs and alcohol, and as one of my reviewers pointed out there's not enough of them, and that's kind of why I decided to write one myself.

Please review and tell me how I'm doing and if you have any good ideas. Thanks for reading :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Thanks for all the great reviews I've been getting :) Sorry for any mistakes I make in this chapter, I've pretty much just written it all in one lol, I wanted to get it out quicker; I can't believe it almost took me 2 weeks to update the last one. Hope you enjoy

**Chapter Eight **

A week had now passed since the first day of school and Harry found himself in the great hall for breakfast after Hermione dragged him there 'to keep him healthy'. Even though she can't now complain about his appearance. The gradual glamour's Harry had been applying have so far been a complete success and he now looked like a normal everyday 16 year old boy. However Hermione was concerned with Harry's behaviour of late, he had been late to some lessons, had some weird mood swings where he would be acting hyper one minute then falling asleep the next and he was generally being quite aggressive to some people, especially Malfoy and Snape. Although Harry had finished his detentions from last week, he had also gained another 3 detentions, 2 from Snape and 1 from Mad Eye, who was now professor Moody and had taken over defence against the dark arts, for real this time around.

"Harry aren't you going to eat something?" asked Hermione looking at his empty plate

"Aren't you?" replied Harry looking at Hermione's also empty plate. She rolled her eyes and started putting food on her own plate.

"Oh by the way Harry I found the spells for your phone to work" said Hermione while shuffling things around in her bag. Harry got out his phone and Hermione got out a piece of paper with the spells written on. She tapped the phone once and muttered a spell then gave Harry the piece of paper.

"You say that one first at the phone and then this one afterwards on the signal, just read the instructions, it explains everything"

"You're the best Hermione" replied Harry with a real smile. He had already sent a letter to Davy and the gang and made up an excuse for now about the phone, they hadn't yet replied but he didn't know how long it would take to get from muggle London to Hogwarts. In this space of time he had also decided to try and work out how he could go back and see his friends again. So far he hadn't thought of much.

The three had transfiguration next and headed up there after they finished their breakfast (besides Harry who didn't have any)

"Homework on the desks please and open up page 46 in your text books" said McGonagall as soon as the students entered the room

The classroom filled with the sound of rustling paper as everyone started to get all their equipment and homework out. Harry stared at his homework, it didn't look like it made much sense and it was barely legible, he decided he shouldn't really do homework while high…

Transfiguration when by faster than usual, they had now actually started practicing changing their hair colours and small changes to their appearances, like the shape of their eyes and noses. This was never used as a permanent change though as it uses up the wizards magic making them tired and not perform other spells as well as before.

As soon as they got out of transfiguration Harry made an excuse to Ron and Hermione and made his way to the astronomy tower balcony where he could smoke freely. When he got there he straight away lit up and then got his mobile out and the piece of paper Hermione gave him. He did the first spell, and then the second spell which caused a beam that reached out into the distance from the phone. Hermione's instructions then said to cast another spell on the beam and this should isolate a signal for him to use in the Hogwarts and Hogsmeade area.

He took a long drag on the cigarette and stared at the phone excitedly, would they even be up at this time? He thought to himself.

He decided to ring them anyway; he rang Davys mobile and waited anxiously for someone to answer.

"Hesllo ughh was time's it? Where's my bike?" came a very slurred voice down the receiver

Harry laughed loudly "bike?" he asked himself "Davy, you idiot it's Harry"

"Harry? HARRY! Ow shit my head. Oi wake up, Harry's here!"

Harry laughed again, he sounded like he was still drunk.

"Davy where the hell are you?"

"At Wills, well on Wills front lawn, we over slept just a bit. I'm glad you woke us though cuz there is man with a very strange hat staring at us right now" he added.

"What? Davy put someone else on" Harry said. He heard Davy mutter 'creepy fucker' and then shuffling and low voices in the background.

"Harry!" Came a voice

"Summer, how you doing? Who else is there?"

"You're on speaker phone and the whole gang is here except Luce, she had work today. You got the phone to work! Davy thought you were just being a spaz"

"It's just hard to get a signal, but someone helped me boost it" Harry lied

"Good, we've missed you so much, when do you think you can sneak down?" asked Summer

"Well I think I have an idea, I'll have to plan it more though, I'll text you if I do manage to get out"

"Bloody hell, we have got to find somewhere else to collapse now it's getting colder" came Will's voice, "Hi Harry"

"Hey Will, by the way did you guys get my letter?"

"Yeah we did, we spent one back a few days ago. Your school is so old fashioned-"

"Yeah, I've never sent out a letter before" interrupted Davy "I did not enjoy the experience"

Harry laughed "Why?"

"Looked like a right twat wondering around the estate asking people if they knew where a letterbox was, turns out the ones nearest us have been set on fire" said Davy

Harry just laughed again and listened to the others talk.

They carried on talking for a while, catching up over the last week. Harry smiled; he would give anything to be with them right now.

"Will what's Davy doing with that man?" Harry heard summer ask

"I don't know... Who is that?"

"Does he have a hat?" asked Harry

"What? Yeah" said Will distractedly

"You should probably go deal with that" Harry said smiling again. Davy was funny when drunk but he needed a constant carer.

"Yeah I probably- oh shit he's off, gotta go Harry" Will said quickly

"Bye!" he heard summer shout before the line went dead.

Harry couldn't stop smiling, they made him so much happier then he thought he could be so then why does he have to spend so much time away from them?

He hadn't realised that he had been up there for an hour and half talking to them and he was already 20 minutes late for double charms.

"Harry where were you?" asked Hermione "your 20 minutes late!" she said as soon as he sat down after losing 10 points from Gryffindor for being late.

"I lost track of time" said Harry simply

"What were you doing that made you do that? You stink of smoke"

"Smoke?" Harry asked innocently, Hermione glared at him. "Look Hermione, I've just been training, you know, like practising different spells. It's time to start thinking about that considering what I'm up against" he said and Hermione's expression immediately softened. It wasn't a complete lie; he had been practising more useful spells, defensive and offensive and some protection spells that could come in useful in the future. He had been sneaking out every night to the room of requirement to either just relax or train now his usual escape from his nightmares was no longer available to him.

"Okay Harry, but next time you should let us help you, we're in this together remember?" she said softly

"Yeah, course I will"

"I guess a little extra practice won't hurt" said Ron. Hermione shot him an approving look.

xxxxxx

Harry was cutting up lines of the white powder he had on the toilet seat of the looked cubical in the dormitory bathrooms. He snorted 3 lines and sniffed as he felt the friction and itch inside his nose. He felt as though he was flying, he felt so happy, like there were no troubles in the world. When he was 'self medicating' there was no psycho trying to kill him, no crazy relatives trying to starve him or beat him, no prophecies or deaths. It was just him happily existing by himself, usually on the bathroom floor.

It was only 1 and he had skipped lunch again. He told his friends that he already got food from the kitchens and he was doing homework that they had already done. It was potions next and he thought he should start walking down but instead he got a joint out and tuck in deep drags until half of it was gone to balance out the high. He felt his legs wobble as he stood up and sprayed himself. He took a few deep breaths and started to down the stairs into the common room and out the door.

As he was walking he felt people looking at him. Staring at him. Talking about him, like they were plotting. He started to walk faster towards potions and took a few detours through passageways "throw them off, throw them off" he kept muttering to himself. He walked quickly through the next stretch off corridor almost at a run. 'Why were they following him' he thought to himself 'what has he done wrong?' he thought desperately. He ran into another passage way, he could feel his heart pounding and his breath caught in his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe and he was convinced his heart was going a 100 miles per hour. He collapsed onto the ground 'Don't let them win!' he thought to himself though he didn't quite know who 'them' was. He kept trying to breathe normally. There was a tightness in his chest that didn't want to lift. He carried on breathing deeply in and out until he felt like he was able to stand again.

Finally he stood up and shakily and warily made his way out of the passage and into the dungeons and sat back on the floor in the very corner of the hallway outside Professor Snape's classroom. His breathing was still shaky and his chest felt light. He was waiting for something bad to happen, he knew it was going to happen any moment now. But nothing happened. People lined up and gave him strange looks and some Slytherins made some comments but he didn't pay attention. Hermione came down a few minutes later and saw Harry in the far corner.

"Aww what's the matter with the golden boy, Granger? Have you had a fight?" asked Pansy Parkinson in a mock baby voice

Hermione ignored her and walked over to Harry apprehensively.

"Harry?" she asked and Harry's head shot up and looked shocked for a moment

"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione asked

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, just feel like something bads gonna happen..."

"What do you mean?" she asked looking worried

"Can't you feel it? I feel like someones after me" he said quietly

"Harry" she repeated as though him hearing his name might bring him out of this daze "Who's after you?"

But before Harry could answer the classroom door burst open with a loud bang and the students started lining up to go in. Harry shot up in the air in shock and stared at the door with a distrusting look and slowly walked in the room as though expecting someone to jump out at him any second.

Hermione watched this little performance bewildered and followed him into the room where they sat at the back. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but Snape started talking as soon as they were seated. As usual they were instructed to make the potion on the board get going.

They both started their potions and Hermione continued to watch Harry, he was very jumpy and kept twitching and sniffing.

15 minutes later she asked "Harry are you okay?"

Harry looked at her for a while then said a brief "Fine"

"But before-"

"Potter, Granger" interrupted Snape "What makes you think that my classroom is place for you to discuss you social lives?"

"No sir" said Hermione looking down.

Harry didn't say anything. He just looked down and his desk and started tapping his fingers against it nervously.

"Potter what is this?" asked Snape coldly

Harry continued to ignore him and stare at the desk. He tapped his fingers louder.

"Potter, look at me while I am speaking to you" he sneered.

But Harry continued looking down and tapping the desk, he couldn't look at him. The room was spinning and not in a good way.

"POTTER!"

Harry finally looked up with a blank face at professor Snape. He didn't notice but there was a trickle of blood coming down from his nose. Harry avoided his gaze and stared ahead like a zombie would.

"20 points off Gryffindor for ignoring a teacher" Snape then vanished his potion and looked at his bleeding nose, "pack up and go see the nurse" he said impassively

Harry packed everything away. He felt numb again. He walked out off the dungeons and instead of going to the nurse like Snape told him to, he walked to the astronomy tower for a cigarette. He lit up and took and long drag while sinking to the ground. He felt slightly better just sitting here on the balcony in the fresh air. He didn't really understand what happened back in potions. One minute he was fine then the next he felt like he was about to be murdered on the spot. He's never felt that before... He had just completely freaked out. Even now he still felt a bit shaky and sick.

He carried on smoking, which calmed his nerves, when he was interrupted by someone stepping out and joining him on the balcony.

"Oh, hi" said the girl brightly "I didn't think anyone else used this spot"

Harry recognised her as a popular 7th year Gryffindor. She was a pretty girl with blonde hair and was known for always joking around in the common room. She had sometimes hanged out with Fred and George.

"I'm Ella" she said sitting opposite Harry getting a cigarette out.

"Harry" he replied offering her a light.

xxxxxx

**A/N: **Kind of a cliff hanger there, I've decided that Harry should have somebody to cause trouble with while in Hogwarts and that is what Ella is for ;)

I'm glad I got to write about Davy and the gang again, I've missed them loads and Harry has now had his first bad trip from drugs. When I was writing about the bad trip it was from an experience I had with a friend that got totally high and ruined our night out.

Please review and tell me how I'm doing and for any suggestions :)

AnythingTwilightMakeMeHappy- Haha yes the reviewer was you, I can't believe there aren't more stories like this

ebec11- I've read and got story alert for your fic already, it's really good, you should continue :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Again, thank you for all the reviews I've been getting :) My last chapter was bit shorter than usual so heres a long one with lots of booze in it ;) Enjoy

**Chapter Nine **

As September was coming to an end Harry found himself getting closer to Ella. He found out she was a half blood, like Harry, and lives in an English Wizarding area in Switzerland, which Harry thought was quite funny at first. Her father was a well known and respected lawyer, so they were very well off and she was also the youngest of 5, she had four older brothers that had all been to Hogwarts. Every morning and evening they would meet at break time for cigarette, just the two of them. Being with Ella was kind of like being with Davy and everyone back in Surry as it was easy to forget everything while being with her. Another thing he liked about her was that she also had a supply of weed, this surprised Harry as he had never really come across it at Hogwarts, and she was a fun person to smoke it with. Like he had with Davy and the rest, he found himself becoming good friends with her fast.

"So... you got any plans for after Hogwarts?" asked Ella taking a long drag of a joint she rolled. It was currently evening and Harry thought it was a bit dangerous smoking weed in the open but Ella said this area of the tower was usually deserted.

"No idea... used to want to be an Auror but... shit sounds too hard" replied Harry taking another long drag.

Ella laughed "Yeah, you have to do lots of training for that, very serious work" she said in a way that told Harry the cannabis was kicking in

"You wanna go eat something?" asked Harry suddenly. Ella nodded

"I've got the munchies" she said giggling

They both got up and made their way down to the great hall for lunch, trying not to not to laugh the whole way. They sat down together next to Ron and Hermione and started piling their plates with food.

"Blimey Harry, you hungry?" asked Ron looking down at Harry's plate

"Ye huh" replied Harry with a mouth full of food

Ron and Hermione had gotten used to Ella sometimes just randomly joining them to see Harry and Ella seemed like a nice enough girl to them. Hermione however was still worried about Harry. He seemed very different from last term; the only word she could seem to come up with for him was 'self-destructive'. He kept getting detentions, not doing homework, answering back (especially to Snape) and always showing up to lessons late or not showing up at all. Harry would always just play the 'I forgot' card and then he would seem fine again. His moods would constantly go up and down too, he was happy and giddy one minute, then the next he was falling asleep in lessons and being, in her eyes, quite rude (especially in terms on language) Hermione knew that there was something more to this and that's why she decided to go and talk to professor McGonagall.

Her thoughts were distracted a moment as Harry and Ella started laughing madly at something. People round the table started to stare at them as they tried and failed to contain their giggling. With that, Hermione took it as her sign to go see professor McGonagall now, during the free period they had after lunch. She said goodbye to Ron (who was watching Ella and Harry slightly confused) and started towards her head of year's office. She hadn't told Ron about this meeting due to his reaction in 3rd year when she was concerned about the broomstick that Sirius had sent him. Although this situation was different, she had a feeling Ron still wouldn't want to come.

She knocked on the office door and waited to be called in. She sat down opposite her head of house.

"Miss Granger, what can I do for you?"

"Well Professor, I was wondering if I could talk to you about Harry..." said Hermione

Professor McGonagall expression went slightly stern "Ah yes, I'm not really suprised" said the professor in a disapproving tone

"Yes well, he seems distant and has mood swings all the time and he's acting in ways he wouldn't have before. I'm worried he hasn't really grieved properly for Sirius" said Hermione desperately, it was important professor McGonagall knew how worried she was

The professor thought for a moment before speaking. She had already gotten some mild yet unusual complaints off other teachers about him being late or falling asleep in lessons. Also his homework has been a disgrace; she couldn't even read one piece he handed into her.

"His behaviour has been bad of late; if I remember correctly he received 8 detentions in the first week back, though some of them had already been given during the holidays for whatever reason... Is there anything else I should be aware about?"

"Well, he smokes now, mostly with that Ella girl, he would have never done that before" she said sadly. This wasn't news to the professor though; she had already seen him smoking about the castle and had given him lines for it. Ella smoking wasn't much of a surprise though.

"Okay Miss Granger, thank you for informing me. For now I will keep an eye on him and see what happens"

"Thank you Professor"

xxxxxx

"I wish you could meet them, you'd love 'em" said Harry talking fast while lighting a cigarette. It was 7 in the evening and they were in their usual place on the astronomy tower. He had decided he'd trust Ella and tell her about the friends he made over the Summer after she told him about some of hers.

"Me too..." started Ella "Hey, why don't we? It's Thursday today and this weekend is a Hogsmeade Weekend; we could just sneak off for the day!"

"How could we? They live in Surry"

"The night bus. Duh" she said flicking ash at him smiling

"Shit yeah, the night bus, why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you smoke way too much of this stuff, you do know that alcohol and cannabis destroys brain cells" said Ella

"Yeah, I can tell" he replied pointedly.

"Yeah so tomorrow we go see them? I haven't snuck off since 5th year"

"Why wait until tomorrow?" asked Harry with a mischievous grin

"How else-You know another way out?" she asked impressed. She didn't know he had it in him...

"Yep, we could sneak out and get the night bus over to Surry. We'll both get changed so no one out there gets suspicious. And I'll probably go under my invisibility cloak to seeing as a lot of people want to kill me right now" he added as an afterthought.

"Sounds good to me" said Ella cracking a huge grin "You have an invisibility cloak?"

Harry just smiled. They both went and got changed. Harry told Ron and Hermione he had a late detention and not to stay up and wait for him. Harry and Ella met up on the fourth floor where the one eyed witch passage was. Harry had already called Davy to tell him he's coming over and they'd wait for him at the park.

They came up from Honey dukes cellar and Ella signalled for the night bus and they both got on (Harry still being under his invisibility cloak) and it took 30 minutes to get to Surry. The bus dropped them off at a local Library in Little winging. When they got there they went down an alley and Harry took of his invisibility cloak and put a back baseball cap on to cover his face a bit, just in case. He put the cloak in the bottom of his small rucksack, that was filled with booze he had left and some weed and they made their way down to the park.

After a 20 minute walk Harry and Ella reached the park and they saw figures up ahead wrapped in coats and scarf's.

"Harry!" shouted summer and she ran up to him and jumped into his arms for a hug.

"Summer!" laughed Harry "Wow you've beaten Davy tonight"

"I'm not drunk" she giggled

"Harry, you alright man" said Davy giving him a slap on the back

"Yeah 'cept its fucking freezing" said Harry wishing it was summer hear again.

"Oh by the way guys, this is Ella, she goes to my school" Harry said bringing Ella forward

"Hi" she smiled

Everyone introduced themselves and Lucy and Davy started passing drinks around and roll ups. Will started a fire to warm up and they all circled around it.

"So Ella" started Lucy who was sitting next to her, "What's our Harry like at school?"

Every one grinned "I bet he's a right little swot in real life" said Davy

"Just ignore Davy, he was never really in the right state of mind for school were you?" said Lucy

"They kept kicking me out when I got drunk in school" he replied leaning against the tree trunk behind him

Ella laughed "Harry's almost as bad, he keeps getting high and falling asleep in class from what I've heard"

Everyone laughed.

"Davy has to be the worst though. Did he tell you the head teacher story?" asked Will

"Oh shit, you've got to hear this one" said Summer

"So Davy was tripping out on something in the middle of the school day and I had spent all lunch time trying to keep him in the court yard out of everyone's way. I turn away for about a second and he's fucking legged it and later on I found out he had broken into the head masters office. So the headmaster comes back from his lunch break to find Davy clawing at his filing cabinet screaming 'I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA!"

Everyone burst out laughing and couldn't stop for what felt like hours.

"I was so close to getting expelled that day" said Davy still smiling

"You didn't get expelled?" asked Ella incredulously taking a long drag of a joint

"Nah, just made some excuses up about problems at home..."

Harry looked up at this. No one else had noticed, but he had heard a change in Davy's tone. It was the kind of tone that tried to remain casual, the kind of tone that Harry had used all the way through his childhood while living with the Dursleys. He never really knew much about Davy's family. Only that his mum left when he was really young and he never really mentioned his dad but Lucy said that he was a drunk. Perhaps it was this reason that Harry and Davy had become such good friends in such a short amount of time.

The night went on and soon they all forgot about the cold night and they all got completely smashed. Harry hadn't had this much fun since the summer ended. He did lines of coke with everyone, even Ella who had never really tried it before and didn't know Harry took it. Usually he would have been a bit wary of telling anyone who knew the truth about him but at the time he was too drunk to care. Ella seemed to fit in really well with everyone and was dancing with the rest of the girls round the fire they made.

"Oi! Harry!" said Davy in a low slurred voice

"Yeah?" slurred Harry

"Come follow me" he said and grabbed Harry by the wrist and pulled him towards the darker bit of the park where there were more trees. They stopped when they were a bit of a distance away from the others. He let go of Harry's wrist and got something out of his pocket. It was a lighter, a sweet wrapper and a packet of brown stuff.

"Just wanted to get way for a while" said Davy and Harry watched as he started to boil the brown powder in the sweet wrapper and he then dragged Harry down to sit next to him against the tree. Once it had boiled Davy lowered his nose to it and started to snort the fumes.

"Wanna bit?" said Davy raising his hands clumsily to Harry. Harry bent down and snorted it the same as Davy did and leaned back to absorb all of the high.

Davy finished it off and leaned against Harry slightly.

"Feels good don't it?" he said

"Yeah..."

xxxxxx

The 6 of them woke up the next morning in the abandoned building Davy had healed all Harry's injuries a months back. They were in a back room where there were a few makeshift beds and old furniture that must have belonged to the old residents. They were surrounded by empty bottles and cigarettes and joints everywhere. Harry was lying on a mattress on the floor and Ella was lying down on his chest. Davy was in a heap on the floor next to Will and Lucy while summer was curled up on a small armchair. It was a cold morning and light had entered the building through the holes in the walls that used to be windows.

"Fuck. My head" said Harry sleepily as he tried to lean up.

"Fuck, my back" said Lucy getting up off the floor and stretching "I'm getting too old to be doing this anymore"

Everyone slowly woke themselves up and passed around water and pills that Davy kept on him. Everyone huddled up in the blankets that Lucy had brought and tried to bring themselves round.

"What time is it?" asked Summer

"13.15" said Will gesturing to the old clock on the wall.

Ella and Harry looked at each other.

"Fuck, I thought we were only out a few hours" said Ella

"We should have been back by 7 ish" said Harry

"Seriously?" asked Lucy "How did you guys get here so fast in the first place?"

"We already were on the train when you rang, it only takes about 3 hours" lied Harry.

"3 hours on the train for a few hours in the park? Jeez you must really love us Harry" Davy said mockingly with a smile

"Yeah well, I need out of there. But now they are already probably trying to hunt us down" said Harry

"Really?" asked Will "In our school they usually like it when the students skip a few days, it gives them time to recover"

"Yeah, I wonder why" laughed Harry looking pointedly at Davy

Harry knew he was already it trouble but he couldn't care right now, in fact he was almost happy to see what the professors reactions would be when he gets back. He knew they would already be panicking. Hermione would have told on him and it wouldn't take them all long to discover that he was lying about having a detention. Hopefully that would be an indicator that he left of his own will and he wasn't kid napped by death eaters. 'Why did everything have to be so complicated?'

"What are you guys gonna do now?" asked Lucy

"Dunno" started Harry "Fuck going back yet, I can't be bothered"

"Yeah, we're already in enough trouble, might as well enjoy our last bits of freedom" said Ella dramatically

"Will you really get in that much trouble?"

"Nah, we'll probably just lie and say we were trapped in a broom cupboard or something. It's worked before..." said Ella

Lucy, summer and Will soon left to sleep off their hangovers for work in the evening, leaving Davy, Ella and Harry to talk.

"I'm starving" said Ella and she got up and leaned out of the glass-less window to look into the street. She spotted a small fish and chip shop and went out to get everyone something for lunch.

"You know, there's still quite a lot of drink left in these bottles" said Davy picking up and inspecting a tequila bottle before downing the rest of the contents.

"When d'you think your gonna get the train back?" he continued

"Probably early evening. We don't want the staff to have heart attacks" said Ella. Even though Harry knew waiting so long before returning was probably a bad idea, the thought of returning to Hogwarts after all the fun they had in the last few hours completely crushed him.

"How about making you train journey back a little more fun?" said Davy smirking

Harry looked at Ella "Drinking to cure a hangover, does that actually work?"

"Course it does, I've been drunk for a week now" replied Davy with a bright smile

"Well, it is a Friday, and train journeys are rather boring" said Ella

Davy laughed "Exactly, drink up"

Harry and Ella took it easy for the first hours after waking but it didn't take long for them to get drunk again considering how much they had had last night. When Harry looked back at how much he could take at the start of his summer he realised how much of a tolerance he had grown, probably due to the fact he was drunk and high pretty much all of the time. He felt himself drift into numbness again. If only he could feel like this forever.

It was 4pm when Ella and Harry left to get the night bus. As a leaving gift Davy gave them both 2 ecstasy pills each, which they had taken on the walk to where they would signal for the bus. They laughed and tripped over themselves all the way, Harry was pretty surprised he could still walk. His hands were shaking a lot, which was weird as he had already had his usual does of coke that kept the shakes down, and he had even more alcohol than usual.

Ella signalled for the bus while Harry remained under his invisibility cloak so he would not be caught and it was 40 minutes before they made it to their stop. They got out clumsily and Ella joined Harry under the cloak as they went through the passage from honey dukes into Hogwarts. Harry knew he was totally baked, but Ella was completely gone. She wouldn't stop laughing the whole way back, especially when they got into Hogwarts.

"We made it!" laughed Ella "Shit the night bus and ecstasy was a brilliant idea" she shouted

"Ella SSSHHHH. Don't wake anyone up" he laughed as they tried to walk down the corridor as casually as they could without falling over

"But its dinner time now... Fuucckk where is everyone?" whispered Ella

"We could ask you the same thing" came a cold stern voice from behind them

Harry turned around to face his head of house who was looking very angrily at them.

"Follow me" she said coldly and she led them silently to Dumbledore's office. When they entered they saw that Snape was already in there. 'Oh great' he thought to himself.

The headmaster signalled them to sit in the chairs opposite his desk while Snape and McGonagall stood by the door, but made no attempts to leave.

The twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes had gone and he looked disappointed. Right now that just made Harry want to smile he thought bitterly.

"Where have you been?" he asked calmly

Ella just burst out giggling. Harry just smirked and tried not to laugh and looked at the corner on the head masters desk. If someone had told him that in the future he could be found stoned in the head masters office he would have laughed, probably just like Ella is laughing now. This went on for a few minutes before Dumbledore sighed.

"You have nothing to say for yourselves?"

"We got locked in a broom closet?" said Ella between laughs, which set Harry off. He had to laugh at that.

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair.

"Mineva, would you please take Miss Fenton to the hospital wing to recover"

The head of house led Ella out of the room while Snape gave a disgusted look at them.

"Severus would you please give us a minute"

Harry was still smirking and not looking at the head master. He was still completely stoned and didn't really know what he was doing here.

"You worried a lot of people today Harry" started the old man "Including Miss Granger and Mr Weasley. We thought you were in danger and you could have gotten yourself hurt or killed because of your actions. I can't make you take this war seriously Harry, but you would think with all the sacrifices people have made for you that you would make an effort. We will discuss your punishment later"

Harry didn't say a thing, he didn't even look at him, but he heard every word.

xxxxxx

**AN: **Okay, few things to discus. Firstly, the reason why no one has found out about the drug problem yet is because there are still a few things that are going to happen first, including his problem getting worse (believe it or not). But it won't be a very long wait.

Secondly, I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how they would like Harry to recover? I don't really know who could help him, I thought about the Weasley's but it is a bit out of their league.

I was considering, maybe for Sirius to return? It would be done realistically (Well as far as magic goes) and maybe he could help with the drug problem? I really don't know yet, it's just a crazy idea, what do you think about it?

Please review and tell me how I'm doing and for any suggestions :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Thank you all so much for the great reviews :D I'm afraid this chapter is a little shorter than usual as you'll probably see, it sort of fits in better this way... if that makes sense lol, enjoy :)

**Chapter Ten**

The word anger didn't quite cover what Harry was feeling after his little meeting with Dumbledore. That's how he found himself locked in a completely wrecked classroom at 7pm that night trying to destroy everything in sight. 'How dare he say that to me' he kept thinking to himself, if it wasn't for Dumbledore he could have had everything. He could have been raised with Sirius if he bothered to properly investigate what happened on the day of his parent's murder. He had the power to. If that bastard had told him the truth last year then he wouldn't have ran off to the ministry. If Dumbledore stepped in and said he didn't have to do the triwizard tournament then Voldemort might not have returned in the first place. But no, instead he made a scared shitless 14 year old be pushed into and battle dragons and merpeople.

"FUCKING BASTARD" Harry screamed and threw a chair across the room. He stood there for a while breathing heavily

He looked down and saw his knuckles and hands were bleeding and all bruised from punching things. He slowly slid down the wall until he was sat on the floor and brought his legs up to his chest and let angry tears fill his eyes and he banged his head against the wall until it became too painful. 'Why does this happen to me?' he kept thinking to himself distraughtly. He just sat their feeling angry and depressed until he had enough energy to walk back to the dorm rooms.

He checked his appearance was still covered by the glamour's he had on and made his way out the room and towards the common room, feeling slightly embarrassed over his breakdown. When he entered the common room Ron and Hermione jumped up to go meet him. But before Hermione had a chance to start telling him off

"Leave it Hermione, I'm tired" he said sharply

Hermione and Ron looked shocked and quite a bit angry but he couldn't care right now. He was starting what would be a bad comedown and he was still so angry it wouldn't be worth trying to start a conversation with them or anyone else for that matter. He violently shut the curtains and swallowed a few pills Davy gave him and mixed them with some vodka to help him get to sleep quickly.

Xxxxxx

The shakes had started earlier than expected. Of course he knew it was heroin he and Davy had the other night but usually he could delay the effects for awhile with other drugs but this time it hadn't worked. It was the next day Harry was alone in the boy's dormitories while everyone else was at Breakfast getting ready to go to Hogsmeade. It was the 3rd or 2nd time he had tried heroin, he couldn't really remember one of the times. It felt so good...

Harry was going to go join everyone else and get Ron and Hermione's interrogation out of the way, but he was side tracked not only by his shaking hands but also when he found something in his trunk. He had just been hiding his new stash off drugs he got the other night when he came across a photograph near the bottom of his trunk. He had completely forgotten about it. It was the photo of the original order of the phoenix that mad eye and Sirius had shown him in his 5th year. There was Sirius and his parents waving up at him, all of them now dead through protecting him.

It wasn't fair, he kept thinking to himself. Sirius had survived a crazy dark family, Voldemort and Azkaban but he couldn't survive Harry. They were so close to being a family and Harry had ruined it all. Realistically, if Harry wasn't here, Sirius still would have been.

He made it for the last few minutes of breakfast in the great hall where Hermione starting firing questions at him.

"Harry, where were you? We were all so worried, Dumbledore was about to send the order to go out and look for you" started Hermione

"Hermione, look chill out, I'm sorry" he said dully. He didn't touch any food and kept his hands under the table where no one could see him shaking.

"You're sorry? You could have been killed, we thought you could have been caught be death eaters" said Hermione angrily

"I know, I was careful, crazy people have been trying to kill me for a while now" said Harry trying to find the right words that would calm down Hermione. Apparently those weren't it.

"Why did you lie to us about it?" said Ron looking hurt "We're your mates, we wouldn't have said anything"

"Ron! Don't encourage him, he shouldn't have done it!" said Hermione

"Hermione, it's not as though I went out and killed someone. It wasn't even my idea" lied Harry "Ella had some mates in town she was going to see and invited me to come along. I was going to tell you guys the truth later, it's just you were in the middle of the common room at the time and we had to leave quickly" said Harry surprised at how easily he could lie like that.

Ron looked a little better after this explanation however Hermione was still cross.

"What punishment did you get for this?" she asked crossly

"Dunno yet" said Harry with a shrug

It was later on that day after running into Professor McGonagall he found out what his punishment would be. He had to clean up the trophy room, just like Ron had in their second year, and he was given extra Occlumency lessons with Snape. That was ironic as Dumbledore always insisted the lessons weren't a punishment, they were for his own benefit. All off this along with 40 points of Gryffindor of both Ella and Harry each. He also wasn't aloud to Visit Hogsmeade for the rest of the term.

Harry eventually went to the astronomy tower where he found Ella already there waiting for him.

"Ella, your alive!" he said it what was meant to be a cheerful voice, but failed.

"Yep" said a rough looking Ella with a smile "You should have seen McGonagall, she went mental at me this morning. All for taking the chosen-one out for a couple of drinks" she laughed nudging him playfully. The chosen one... Harry tried to smile, but all he could think of was Sirius smiling in that photo he had, the line of people that had sacrificed their lives for him. He wasn't worth it. Even Dumbledore knew it.

"So..." started Ella wondering what's up with Harry "What was your punishment?"

"Some detentions with Snape and some cleaning the trophy room" said Harry lighting up a cigarette

"Ouch, they must be pissed if they put you with Snape"

"Yeah, it starts tonight with Snape as well, that'll be fun. What about you?"

"Oh I just have to write a load of lines for a while and sort out some old transfiguration text books. It's not as though I haven't done it all before" Ella laughed

Harry said nothing; he was staring up ahead into the distance.

"Harry? Are you okay" she asked in a baby voice and leaned onto his shoulder

"Yeah, just thinking" he said distantly

"Thought I smelled something burning" she joked. Harry gave no reaction.

"Come on Harry, don't get depressed, it doesn't matter that we were caught. We just got a few detentions and points taken off, big deal. As for the detention with Snape tonight, you could just take an MP3 player with headphones and ignore him, he wouldn't notice"

Harry forced a smile "I know Ell's, it's not that, don't worry. Just got a lot on my mind"

Xxxxxx

The shaking had gotten worse throughout the day, apparently his body didn't like the amount of stuff he was taking and the lack of sleep as by 4th period, which was charms, he was shaking so badly he could barely write properly. He still managed to hide this from Ron and Hermione by simply putting his bag on his desk so they couldn't see him writing. He eventually gave up and pretended to be doing work for the next half an hour while his mind wondered to Sirius. He found himself wondering whether Sirius had lessons in this classroom and where he would have sat and so on, these thoughts just carried on making him feel worse and filling with sadness. When Professor Flitwick collected his work he gave him a disapproving look but carried on.

He numbly walked around and didn't even notice when he missed dinner. His hands were shaking more than ever when he finally made his way to Professor Snape's office for his extra Occlumency lesson he had for his punishment.

"So Mr Potter, you've finally decided to show your face 20 minutes late" he started snidely. He didn't know what was going on with Harry but he was annoying him even more than usual.

Harry looked at the clock on the wall and back to Snape saying nothing, he had a feeling that he should have skipped this one

"Sneaking out the castle while everyone is running round trying to protect the _chosen one_. Sit down!" he barked the last order and pointed to the chair where the torture would begin for Harry

"Prepare your mind" he said giving Harry barley 2 seconds before invading his mind. Harry knew this had been a bad idea

Images of Sirius completely took over his mind. Sirius falling into the veil, Sirius hugging him, Sirius comforting him about the snake attack, Sirius and him duelling in the DoM, Sirius in the shrieking shack and then worst of all: him and Sirius in his third year staring a Hogwarts at night from the shrieking shack, the memory filled with false hope and happiness, this was the moment where anything could have happened.

It was a minute before Harry realised Snape had pulled out of his mind and was watching him with a glare that was cold and another emotion Harry didn't recognise.

"You're not trying" he stated blankly

"Potter, do you know why you are here?" he started harshly

"Because I sneaked out and got pissed" Harry said trying very hard to keep his anger hidden

"No potter" he began coldly

"Because I got caught?" he said sarcastically

"You are here, wasting my time, because your connection to Voldemort, though weakened, can be re-opened whenever he feels like it, prompting you to do something stupid again. Now let's actually try this time potter. Legilimens!"

Again, it was just all his memories of Sirius, he couldn't clear his mind because Sirius meant everything to him and there he was in his memories, just staring at him.

"POTTER!" yelled Snape

"Fuck you! Find someone else to piss off" Harry yelled back and ran out of the classroom and slammed the door so hard it came off of its hinges. He ran through passageways and kept running all the way up to the 6th floor to the common room until he couldn't breathe properly anymore.

He was shaking even more now after his run, he couldn't get them to stop. Anger, depression and extreme sadness welled up inside him and he didn't notice what he was going until he found himself holding a needle and jar of liquid in his shaking hands. He had had it in his bag since the middle of summer when Davy told him to try it. He looked down at it. It would stop the shaking. It would stop Sirius from entering his mind. It would stop the guilt. Who really cares if took it?

He walked over towards the bathroom as calmly as he could and locked himself in a cubical. He rolled up his sleeve, tied his belt around the top of his arm and flicked the crook in his arm where the veins were so they stood out. He lowered the needle and pulled up some of the liquid into it and got rid of the air bubbles. His hand was shaking so badly he didn't know if he would even be able to do it this way, especially as he was only going off what he saw Davy do one time, however when he thought about the relief he was about to get, his hands stopped shaking just enough so he could inject the liquid into his arm and let the relaxing and happy feelings take over him.

Xxxxxx

Severus Snape stared in shock (and anger of course) at where the brat had run off and broke his office door. He quickly regained his usual posture and repaired the door and went over to the fireplace and flooed to the headmaster's office. The headmaster, for reasons he could only guess, told the potions master to report back to him after his and Potters lesson.

"Ah Severus, I wasn't expecting you back so soon" Dumbledore said calmly

"You can blame potter for that" he said sourly

Dumbledore looked slightly concerned before turning to his phoenix and sending him off.

"I think Professor McGonagall should be present for this conversation" he said. Snape merely raised his eyebrows and waited five minutes for the other professor to come.

"I wasn't expecting to see you for another hour or two Albus" said the transfiguration professor

"Well apparently Harry had other ideas" he said softly

"Other ideas?" sneered Snape sarcastically "He ran out cursing and breaking everything in his way"

Both the other professors looked shocked. Harry never used to behave like this. Besides that one time at the end of last year when he tore up the headmaster's office...

McGonagall sighed "I don't know what to think of this situation Albus, I've had numerous teachers bring up his attitude to me and he grades have completely spiralled down along with his behaviour. He's completely changed" she said thinking of how he had sneaked out the other day with Ella.

"Insolent brat is just doing the same as his father did before him" sneered Snape

"Now Severus, I think even you know that that is not the case. Even you had slight concerns during your holiday lessons"

Snape said nothing. It was true that he had had nagging feeling that the set up wasn't right, but that had completely left his mind since Hogwarts had started again.

"This started before term?" asked Professor McGonagall

"I believe so" said the headmaster sadly

"Ms Granger seemed to think he was suffering from depression when she came and talked to me" said McGonagall "That all the stress of everything seemed to be getting to him, along with the death of Sirius..."

"I believe Ms Granger could be correct" sighed Dumbledore "It would fit in with what Severus had seen over the summer and his un-caring attitude... Mostly, these things heal with time, however if this continues after half term we shall talk about a counsellor perhaps to help him deal with everything. May I ask what you have planned to do about his grades?" asked the headmaster turning to Harry's head of house.

"What we do with every student who is failing. I will have to send a letter home and have a meeting with him and discus his options" she said with a hint of sadness. She always thought that Harry could have been one of her best students if he had tried harder and was more confident in his work.

"Okay" he said sombrely "I think we should keep an extra eye out on Harry just to be sure, grief can make even the most sensible people do foolish things, as we have already witnessed..."

Xxxxxx

**AN: **So like I said before, Harry is getting worse and its going to be worth the wait ;)

I have now made a sort of plan on where this story is going in the next few chapters and I've even started planning out the end :(

I've read over some of the reviews and comments and I have decided now not to bring Sirius back. I know that more people wanted me to bring him back then people who didn't, it's just the people who didn't want him back had a very valid point and it was the same thing holding me back from doing it: This story is more realistic then most other druggie ones and I don't want to ruin it and turn it into a cliché by bringing Sirius back from the dead, as much as I wanted to.

Secondly, in this story Snape will never be a full on mentor to Harry. He will sort of be involved in the recovery because I do like the interactions between Snape and Harry, it's just that it isn't realistic of Snape's character to start being all nice to Harry, again I don't want this story to become a cliché.

Please review and tell me how I'm doing and for any good suggestions :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Thank you for all the good reviews and I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story so much :)

As promised, heres a longer chapter with lots of Harry been crazy, enjoy!

**Chapter Eleven **

Everything was numb. Colours where brighter but more blurred together and sound was distant and hazy. It was like a shield that dulled down anything that tried to get to him physically and mentally. It protected him.

"Harry?" came a quiet voice from the distance

"Harry?" there it was again.

"Harry?" then came a clear voice from right in front of him. It was Ron.

Harry looked around to see he was in the great hall and it was breakfast? Lunch? He didn't know. He couldn't even remember how he got here.

"Harry, are you okay?" asked Hermione worriedly. Again.

"Yeah, you look a bit dazed mate" said Ron concerned.

Harry looked confusedly from Ron to Hermione with misty eyes then smiled clumsily.

"I'm great" he declared then went to rest his head on his arms on the table and turned to the side. Everything was spinning slightly.

"Well, we were just talking about the half term holidays" said Hermione

"What?" asked Harry absently while playing with a bit of threat on the sleeve of his jumper.

"The half term holidays? You know, the extra holidays?" reminded Hermione. Harry said nothing. "For Merlins sake Harry do you ever listen?"

"Sometimes" replied Harry impassively

"We get a week off school, just before Halloween. We've already arranged it so you can come back to ours" said Ron

"Cool" replied Harry, still not really listening

Hermione rolled her eyes. It was a week after Harry and Ella sneaked out and it was only last night when they had been told about the extra holidays. They had been given half term holidays because of Voldemorts return families feel safer knowing they get to see their children more often and check up on everything. But for people like Harry it meant nothing.

Xxxxxx

Being able to function without the shakes after a high was amazing to Harry; the heroin would keep him numb and sane for a good day or so before he started to feel the withdrawal symptoms. He still kept up his usual routine but he found he was a lot less able to concentrate until hours after the initial high, so the midnight training sessions and studying were pretty much replaced by lounging around and sometimes meeting up with Ella to talk.

Even though it had just been a week since he had last seen Davy and the gang, he felt like he desperately needed to see them again sometime soon, not only for the company, but also to re-stock on his new coping method (which he didn't really want to put in a letter in case one of the others found out about it). Now that he knew how easy it was to get there and back, he could probably do it again soon, maybe in a couple of weeks when the teachers were less likely to be 'looking out' for him.

"Hey Hazza" said Ella smiling

"I don't think so" replied Harry shaking his head

"What's wrong with Hazza, Hazza?" asked Ella lighting up

"Theres a lot of things wrong with it. You got any drink on you?" asked Harry taking a long drag of a cigarette

"You mean drink, drink? No, it's 2.30 in the afternoon. Hey, shouldn't you be in potions right now?"

"Oh yeah, shit" he replied in a deadpanned manor with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. They were sitting on a balcony on the 6th floor today. It was more accessible and too much in the open for Harry's liking but Ella had insisted meeting there because she thought it had a nicer view.

Ella laughed "You know, you are so unlike what people say you are. Or what they _did _say anyway, your perfect little reputation is going further and further down the drain you know" she said laughing

"To be fair, half my time at this school people have hated me for some reason or another. So I don't really give a shit"

"I'll drink to that. With water though" she added "Seriously though, is that why you've been acting so different lately? You been slipping a few more drinks in the day to get by? Because you've been acting dippy as hell recently"

"Dippy?" asked Harry with a smirk

"Yeah, dippy. Like your head is in the fucking clouds all the time. It's kind of like you've gone retarded and happy at the same time"

Harry laughed "I think you're the drunk one right now"

Ella was about to retaliate when a student, who looked like a 3rd year, came up to where Harry was sitting and passed him a piece of parchment.

"Professor McGonagall wanted me to hand you this" she said blushing furiously and then walking off quickly.

"See, this is why I don't like smoking here, they can find me too easily" he said while opening the note. Harry pulled a face.

"Oh, that's not good"

"What does it say?" asked Ella curiously

"Come to my office at 4pm today" said Harry handing the note to Ella

"Nothing else" said Ella turning the note every which way then laughed "My brothers have had these notes. You're in trouble"

"What did they get the notes for?"

"Failing, pranking, stealing, having sex in abandoned classrooms, drinking and growing weed in the prefect's bathroom" said Ella listing them off one by one

"Wow... It's a good job you dads a lawyer"

"Yeah" said Ella proudly "Johnny was responsible for most of them. I miss having them here"

"I bet..." laughed Harry

Xxxxxx

"Sit Mr Potter" said McGonagall as Harry made his way into her office

"Do you know why you are here Mr Potter?" she asked. Harry shrugged.

"You are here because we need to discuss your failing grades and bad behaviour me and the other professors have been seeing of late" she said and continued when Harry said nothing "Mr Potter you are now failing in every subject and we are only 5 weeks into this term. You have already received what would be a year's worth of detentions to most students and you haven't even shown up for some of them. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" she asked seriously

Harry sniffed, rubbed his nose and shrugged. That was not the reaction McGonagall was looking for. Somewhere inside Harry, a voice was screaming at him, pleading with him. He knew the consequences if he failed but right at the moment he couldn't be bothered to do anything about it.

McGonagall sighed. She really didn't like doing this but she had no choice.

"I have to inform you Mr Potter that NEWTS are a very hard courses and it takes a lot of effort to pass them. I should also tell you that if a professor does not think it would be worth teaching you said subject then they can kick you of their class and you can't sit the exam. If you do not improve by the end of the term then we may have no other option than to make you drop some classes and get extra tutoring for the others. Do I make myself clear?"

Harry just nodded

"A letter has been sent to your guardians explaining the situation. You may go now"

Harry had to laugh at that part. He wondered what the Dursleys reaction would be when they get a letter saying he's failed in potions and might have to drop his NEWTS. He'd probably pay for that one later...

He should have been expecting it really. He mostly thought it was funny every time he had handed in homework that he had done while being high, but then again he was also high when handing in the homework... He had genuinely been trying recently to catch up on classes and keep his grades good but at the same time he had also skipped a fair amount of lessons, which was sometimes probably better in the long run as most of these times he was in no condition to be doing work, let alone to be around other people. As for the behaviour, he hadn't really been rude to anyone, he mouthed off to Snape quite a lot (nothing new there except for the new range of vocabulary) but he was fine with the other teachers. In Harry's opinion, he hadn't really done anything wrong; he was allowed to have some fun for a bit after the last few years he's had. And as for failing subjects, he's come to realise that he may not live long enough for grades to matter, he can't keep escaping Voldemort by luck alone forever.

These thoughts were what encouraged him to decide to sneak out tonight, instead of waiting for a few weeks, so he could cheer himself up and forget about everything that's happened. It was Thursday, exactly one week after his last night out, and after hours of brooding alone and smoking weed, he decided he would go as soon as the others were asleep so they didn't suspect anything.

So he waited until about 10, when everyone was in bed, before he got changed and under his invisibility coat he made his way to Hogsmeade through the one eyed witch passageway. He had already called ahead telling everyone in Surry that he was nearby on a school trip and he would come around and meet them in the old abandoned building (as it was cold) a bit later on. They rarely met at their own houses as their families were usually in and didn't appreciate 5 teenagers coming round and drinking.

He got on the night bus with his baseball cap low and hoodie up so people wouldn't recognise him and after 20 minutes (which was a lot shorter then last time) the bus dropped him off at the same Library as last time.

"Harry, do the secret knock so we know it's you" said Davy in what was supposed to be a whisper, as soon as he arrived, from behind the shoddy wooden door that led to the inside of the building.

"Davy, you just said it was him" came another voice that sounded like Summer.

"But it could be an imposter"

"But it looks like Harry" replied summer

"You could stick a black wig and a hoodie on anyone and it would like Harry"

"Hey!" said Harry at the door

"It's only 11 and he already thinks people are trying to kill him, Summer take that stuff off him" came Lucy's voice

"Would you just open the damn door!" said Harry loudly "It's fucking freezing out here"

"Then do the secret knock"

"What secret knock?!"

"Fine then, what's the secret password?" asked Davy and Harry sighed

"Is it: I have a 6 inch knife hidden in my trouser pocket and it's about to get used?" said Harry darkly

The door swung open and Davy jumped out and pulled Harry in

"Harry! Only you could come up with something so charming" he said

Harry went round hugging everybody as though it had been longer than a week since he had last seen them all. He noticed that Davy looked kind of bad. He had always been kind of thin for his good build and pale, which is not surprising considering the amount he drinks and the amount of drugs he does but tonight Harry could see he looked worse than usual. Maybe he was just tired?

"Where's that Ella chick?" asked Will breaking Harry's thoughts

"Yeah, she was fun, didn't you tell her about coming round tonight? She didn't mention anything to me" she said while checking her phone. Ella and summer had been texting each other since last week.

"Ah well, at least we can get straight to the good stuff then, no discretion needed" said Davy getting out a back cocaine and cutting it up into lines for everyone. Harry snorted 3 lines and after a lot of sniffing and rubbing his nose he continued to down as much of a bottle of tequila as he could without taking a breath. Will and Davy had the same idea as Harry but the girls were taking it easy and stuck to a bit of weed as they had jobs to go to in the afternoon. Lucy was actually in college and was doing a nursing course while Summer worked in a coffee shop part time and was doing English literature and some other similar subjects in college.

At around 3 the guys passed out while summer and Lucy made their way back to summers to sleep their hangovers off. This time Harry had come prepared and set alarm to wake him up for 5 so he could get back to Hogwarts in time. The alarm woke Harry up and surprisingly Davy up too while Will stayed unconscious. They sat peacefully slumped against the brick wall while they came round. Harry was starting to develop a banging headache after last night's session and he noticed his hands going a bit dodgy, which reminded him of one of the others reasons he came out last tonight.

"Davy?" he asked in a hoarse voice

"Hmm?"

"You got any more smack in?" he asked, not really knowing what to say when you want to buy heroin. Davy looked up at him and smiled very slightly.

"Yeah, course I have" he said and he got a bag out from one of many of his inside jacket pockets. He handed him the bag.

"You know how to shot up right? You know, with the spoon and shit?" he asked sleepily

"Yeah, yeah course. How much?"

"£30. I might do some now..." he said as Harry handed him the money.

Harry looked over at Will. He seemed to still be out so Harry decided to join in.

"Haven't got a needle so we can just snort it, I'll show you how to do it" he said, still groggily

"I already know, you showed me last week remember?"

"Did I? Huh..." he replied while boiling some of the brown powder over a bit of foil from a sweet wrapper. They then both inhaled the fumes and held it for as long as possible before breathing out again. They carried on doing this until there was nothing left. They both slumped back and relaxed for a few moments in silence.

"You know how to clean the needle right? Because smack ain't so much dangerous itself, it's the dirty needles that kill you in the end"

"What, like wash the needle?" asked Harry

"You just need to use alcohol wipes to clean it. Wait; here are some I have on me. I'll send you some more through the post. It's only a few pounds for a pack of 100. Make sure you clean the needle every time. And whatever you do: never share. Okay?"

"Got it" replied Harry kind of slurred. The crazy happy feeling was threatening to completely take over him.

"Where do you inject it? You never have any track marks on your arm..."

"Different places, round the legs usually" he replied absently.

Harry heard a slight rustling and turned his head to see Will wide awake staring at Davy and Harry with an unreadable expression on his face. 'How much had he seen?' Harry wondered, but even as he was thinking it he realised how much the little room smelled of burnt foil and an acidy smell that could only be heroin.

"Good morning William, and how did the floor suffice as a bed?" asked Davy in a posh voice

Will looked away from Harry to Davy and stretched out, acting more casually than before. Harry relaxed again and leaned back into the wall.

"I wouldn't advise it"

"Yeah, the grass was a lot more comfortable" replied Davy thoughtfully "Maybe next time we should just do this at one of our houses instead"

They drifted into a fairly comfortable silence until eventually Harry's watch alarm went off again telling him it was 6am and he should probably start making his way back. With that he said his goodbyes and got the night bus back to Hogsmeade, which was surprisingly harder than last time after snorting the smack, and went through honey dukes back into the school. He went straight to the nearest bathroom and put his jacket and hat away in his rucksack so it didn't look as though he'd been out and sprayed himself all over. By the time he got back up to the boys dormitories it was 7am.

He went into the bathroom again, and lit up, not caring that he could get caught at this point and looked into the mirror. It was so weird how normal he looked because of the glamour's. Some stuff could still get through, like he was ever so slightly paler then usual and his eyes looked a tad bit blood shot but other than that, he looked like a healthy person. He sometimes wondered what he would like without the glamour's. Maybe he might looked like Davy did? He wasn't going to try and find out as he didn't have the energy to put the glamour's back up afterwards and he didn't want anyone to get suspicious.

The bathroom door opened and Dean stepped but stopped when he saw Harry smoking and staring into the mirror. Harry turned around to look at him and Dean continues into the bathroom.

"You alright Harry?" he asked tentatively getting his toothbrush

"Yeah" he replied deadpanned and putting his cigarette out in the sink. Dean watched as Harry just stared into the mirror not blinking and moving his face round at slightly different angles as though he was inspecting it. He quickly washed his teeth and walked out not wanting to continue being around the awkward silence.

"Harry's in there smoking" he warned Seamus who was about to walk to the toilets.

"In the toilets?" asked Seamus

"Yeah, he's having a bit of a moment" replied Dean with a humourless laugh

Seamus opened the bathroom door hesitantly to see Harry with another cigarette staring in the mirror while poking and feeling his own face.

"Yeah, I think I'll wait until he's finished" he said to Dean and walked back to the dormitories.

"He's gone mental he has" continues Seamus as they made their ways back to the bed

"Who's gone mental?" asked Ron who was now getting changed. Dean and Seamus looked at each other wondering whether to say anything.

"Harry has been acting a bit weird lately" said Dean while watching closely for Ron's reaction

"He's fine, he's just a bit stressed out" said Ron quickly

"Mate, he's smoking in the bathroom feeling up his own face while stinking of alcohol at 7 in the morning. I think he's a little more than stressed" said Seamus

"He's fine" repeated Ron heatedly "Look, I'll just go get him" he said while Dean and Seamus shrugged and went back to getting changed.

Ron stomped over to the bathroom to where Harry was and stared at him. He didn't look bad at all; he was just acting a little funnier than usual... Before Ron could ask him anything he turned round to Ron

"I can't feel my face" he said and then slapped himself across the face hard. Harry laughed at himself in the mirror and just walked out while Ron stood there rooted to the spot not knowing what exactly just happened.

Xxxxxx

"No way" said Harry while laughing "What happened?" he asked into the receiver.

"Harry?" came a sing song voice from behind the doorway of the astronomy tower "It's time to go!"

"What? Oh okay, wait a minute" he said to Ella who had just appeared on the balcony in a winter coat with a suitcase.

"I've gotta go now, I'll call you sometime later" he said into the phone and waited "Okay bye"

"Was that Davy again?" asked Ella

"Yeah"

"You two talk on the phone more than a bunch of girls would. Are you all packed yet?" she asked

"Yeah, let me just go get my stuff, I'll see you in the entrance hall" he replied running down to the common room. It was now the 23rd of October and Harry was leaving Hogwarts for the new half term holidays and was staying with the Weasley's. The holiday was only a week long and they would all be back for the Halloween feast. Harry was nervous about spending the holidays with the Weasley's just like he was last time, except this would be worse as he's spending a week there instead of a few days and this time around he has more people closely watching him. The closer proximity with all of the other Weasley's in a confined area like the burrow would make it harder to get away from everyone. Of course Harry had no say in this arrangement, it was all organised by Dumbledore before he could say anything.

Once he got to the entrance hall he left with Ella, Ron and Hermione to go to the Hogwarts express. The four got a compartment together as Ella's other friends were staying behind at Hogwarts.

"So, how you gonna get to Switzerland?" asked Harry

"Floo from Kings cross, I just hope I get out at the right place this time..."

"Why? Where'd you end up last time?" asked Ron

"Some place in Germany that I'm pretty sure was a brothel, had to wait there for hour until my dad picked me up. That was awkward"

Harry laughed while Ron looked confused

"Anyway" started Hermione trying to direct the conversation somewhere else "I think a break will do us all some good, it gives us time to relax" she said looking at Harry. She didn't know what to do anymore when it came to Harry. He would still talk to them a lot and sometimes they even managed to have conversations like they used to, but she could feel him slipping away from him. He wasn't the same any more.

They arrived at King cross where they said good bye to Ella and the Weasley's promptly greeted them and lead them out quickly to some ministry appointed cars that would take them to the burrow. It all seemed such a waste of time to Harry, he might as well have stayed at school. During the car journey Mrs Weasley fussed over him the whole time and Bill and Mr Weasley seemed to be paying him more attention than usual. Harry guessed that Dumbledore had told them about the failing grades and the 'change in behaviour'. This was going to be a difficult week.

Xxxxxx

**AN: **I've been thinking for a while now on how this story is going to end when it comes to Voldemort. I haven't really paid that much attention to him because this story is mostly about drugs, so I was wondering what you guys think I should do with the whole Voldemort situation? I think I could do like a 'one year later shot' where Harry has already killed Voldy off or do you think it would be better if I went into more detail and have Voldemort make more of an appearance in the story?

Please review with feedback and any suggestions :)

**Reviewer comments **

** AnythingTwilightMakesMeHappy**: I'm glad you like the story so much and I know what you mean, I love seeing Harry spiral down :)

** Inoeth: **Thanks for the feedback :) and yes I'm thinking about making this story longer than I expected, I might so a sequel depending on where it's going.

** Becca'Babezz: **Glad you like it and I'm glad people are finding it more realistic; a lot of the druggie fic's on here turn into a cliché and get pretty stupid lol

** Crazyme03: **I know it's a shame Sirius isn't coming back as I think he would have been the best person to deal with it but I just don't want to turn this story into a cliché :( I'm thinking of starting another fic after this one though that includes Sirius though :)

** Cassandra: **Yes don't worry I'll make sure they feel as guilty as hell later on. Dumbledore is pretty manipulative but you can't help but like him :/ 


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Thank you for all the reviews :) all my reviewer comments are at the bottom. I've written another long one for everyone so enjoy...

**Chapter Twelve**

It was three days in at the Burrow and Harry already wanted to kill someone. It seemed that they were under orders to constantly follow him around and bug him to death for the entire holiday. It was near impossible for him to get high because of this. Every time he was more than 5 minutes in the bathroom someone would be there asking if he was okay. Every time he said he was just going for a walk, one of them would always try and tag a long despite the subtle hints that he wanted to be alone.

"Do I look too fucking dumb to you, to walk around in a forest by myself?" he asked darkly

Bill just smiled; Harry usually saved his more creative vocabulary for him and this usually just encouraged him to follow him even more. It's probably due to the fact he's dealt with 5 younger brothers already.

"No, I just fancy a walk with my best friend's brother" said Bill slapping him on the back "Now let's go"

"Stupid gingers" muttered Harry under his breath. He was so tired.

These obstacles lead to Harry having to getting his main fix at night when he was a lot less likely to be disturbed. The up side to this arrangement was that he could enjoy the high for ages without anyone being suspicious and if he drank enough alcohol after shooting up, then he would just black out, so he would have no nightmares that could lead him to be yelling in the middle of the night. The obvious downsides were that by making himself black out was the fact that it was very unhealthy even by his standards and blacking out does not really make up for sleep which he was already getting very little of before he came to the Weasley's house, let alone afterwards.

The other hard thing to deal with was the smells of alcohol and drugs. On the first morning here Hermione had come into the room he and Ron shared and said she smelt a strong smell of alcohol. So after that he had to try and drink in the bathroom, where there were charms that would automatically freshen the room after use. There was also the fact that he smoked and he smoked quite a lot when he was stressed like he was now. He thinks that Mr and Mrs Weasley knows that he does because of the smell but they haven't said anything. He would mostly smoke when he had his walks, so everyone else knew about it.

"You really shouldn't smoke you know" commented Bill with a frown

"Yeah it says something like that on the packet" he replied sarcastically

However the biggest problem living here was that he couldn't have any real contact with Davy and the others. To make his phone work here he would have to perform another spell, which he couldn't do while outside of school. Because of this, he could only send them letters and that wouldn't be effective as it takes about 5 days for them to send one letter to each other so he had just left Hedwig at school. He couldn't even walk to a place where he could get a signal as he was only allowed within the wards of the burrow, even while on his walks. He never thought he would say this, but he really couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts.

"So, how's school?" asked Bill

"Fantastic" he replied deadpanned

Bill laughed "Yeah, they mentioned you weren't having the best time"

Harry turned to look at Bill "What?" he asked

"Hey don't shoot the messenger" said Bill holding his hands up in the air "They're just worried"

"Whatever"

"Anyway, you better get all this anger out of your system before Remus comes down" said Bill. He saw Harry give him a questioning look and continued "Remus is coming round with Tonks for dinner tonight, he wants to see how you are as well"

Harry didn't say anything back. He didn't even know what to say. Was Remus angry with him about Sirius? He didn't seem to be after 5th year at Kings cross station when he came to say Good bye with Moody and threaten his relatives but he hadn't made any kind of contact since then either.

When they got back to the burrow Harry walked slowly back towards Ron's room where he found Ginny, Ron and Hermione sitting on the beds chatting. He had never felt the need so bad to just lie down and sleep.

"Oh hi Harry" said Ginny while smiling. He had the feeling that they were just talking about him.

"Hi" he said joining Ron on his bed and leaning against the wall.

"What you all talking about?" he asked into the silence that began as soon as he entered the room.

"Quidditch" said Ron while Hermione said "School"

Harry just laughed "Okay then..."

"Harry, are these yours?" Hermione asked suddenly breaking the tension. She was holding up the alcohol wipes Davy had gotten him. 'Shit' he thought to himself, he had thought he had put them away but he must have blacked out before he had the chance.

Ron looked at the box "Sterets Pre injection swabs?" he said reading it off the box looking at Harry questioningly. Davy had gotten them from a friend who was a nurse; she had just nicked them from work. Harry inwardly cursed at himself again and tried to act casual.

"They're just muggle alcohol wipes" started Harry taking the box off of Ron "They're just handy to have, you know for cleaning small cuts and stuff" he continued while putting them carefully away back in his trunk.

He turned around to see how his excuse was sitting. Ron didn't look bothered as it was just a muggle thing; Ginny seemed to believe him but Hermione only looked half convinced. She was a muggleborn and she didn't know any muggles who carried around alcohol wipes. He was not in the mood for this so Harry quickly changed the subject.

"So, you were talking about Quidditch? How are the Chudley cannons doing this season?" he asked Ron who immediately picked up on the subject.

Xxxxxx

It was 6pm and Harry was feeling slightly better now physically as he had gotten some sleep while the others had gone to play Quidditch down on the field and luckily because Ron's room is on the top floor no one had heard him waking up shouting from a nightmare.

However due to Harry's luck, something bad had to happen.

He thought that after the traumatic nightmare he should relax in the bathroom with a joint to calm his nerves (which had been on edge recently due to the fact he couldn't have a minute alone to himself without people getting suspicious). So he had been smoking a joint in the bathroom with the window open while listening to the music on his phone with headphones on, which usually helps after the nightmares, when somebody had caught him. And again because of Harry's luck, it couldn't have been the twins or Bill or Charlie or Ron, all of the people that would have probably kept their mouths shut (for a while anyway) it had to have been Ginny.

"H-Harry? What's that?" she had asked angrily eying the joint in his hands.

He didn't have time to answer as she was called downstairs by Molly and she had just walked off not giving him another glance. He remembered quickly stubbing out the joint and spraying himself all the while cursing and kicking himself for not remembering to lock the door. He had done this so many times and every time he had locked the door. By being stuck in this environment he was starting to slip up.

This was 3 hours ago and now they were all waiting in the kitchen together for the guests to arrive while helping with the dinner preparations. Ginny was giving him cold glances and, 'oh shit' he thought to himself, Hermione was giving him a desperate 'I need to talk to you' look. Ginny had obviously told Hermione, and Ginny would have known from the smell that he wasn't smoking a normal cigarette but would she know it was weed?

Harry's whole body felt light and his entire chest felt like it was sinking further and further down into its self. Hermione was going to tell someone. She'll think it's for the best. Months of hiding this from his friends had been ruined from one little slip up. While he ignored Hermione and the rest of the people in the room, panicked thoughts went round his mind. He didn't even notice when Lupin and Tonks entered the house.

He was used to being surrounded by mindless chatter and usually blocked it all out so he was surprised when he was face to face Remus who was shaking his hand.

"Harry, are you okay?" he asked concerned

"Yeah, I'm fine" he said forcing a smile

"You want to step outside for a bit with me?" he asked and Harry felt like he had to comply. On the way out Hermione gave him a meaningful look which Harry ignored.

Harry brought his jacket closer to him when they got outside; it was getting a lot colder now they were near November. He looked at the man who was once both his Godfather and fathers best friend.

"Harry, are you really okay?" asked Remus "Because the others seemed to be really concerned?"

How the hell would you know? Harry thought to himself "I'm fine" he repeated. He really wasn't in the mood for this. Why couldn't they all just leave him alone?

"Are you sure? Because if you ever need to talk to someone you can always come to me" said Lupin

"I don't need anyone to talk to" he said impassively and started to walk back towards the house before Lupin tried to carry on talking to him. Remus looked slightly startled but also made his back into the house. He couldn't help being angry at Remus. He never came to see Harry after all those years with the Dursleys.

Before Harry could make it back into the kitchen Hermione blocked his way in the empty hallway.

"Harry, I need to talk to you"

"About what?" he asked innocently

"Ginny told me about what happened earlier"

"What happened?"

"You know full well what happened"

Harry didn't say anything, he just raised his eyebrows and Hermione sighed.

"Harry... were you smoking drugs?" she asked with a sad look in her eyes.

"What?" asked Harry

"Ginny said that you were smoking something and it wasn't a cigarette"

"It was a roll up cigarette" lied Harry "You know, ones you make yourselves, it's cheaper than the other ones"

"Really? Because I've never seen you with the other ones before and Ginny said it was more than just a cigarette"

"And what would Ginny know?" snapped Harry getting more and more irritated. Why did she have to be so nosy?

"Harry why do you keep lying to us?" she asked angry "We're not stupid, you've been acting so different this year and you keep shutting us out. How are we supposed to help you if you won't tell us what's wrong?" she demanded.

"Because I don't want you help!" said Harry harshly "And there's nothing wrong"

"Look Harry, if you won't help yourself then we'll do it for you. If you don't get help then I'll have to tell someone about this"

"About what?" asked Harry coldly

"Drugs!" whispered furiously "I can't believe you'd do them but apparently you do! Why would even do that?"

Harry looked at her coldly trying to find a way out of this. He sighed.

"Hermione look" he started a bit more softly then before "It was just a tiny bit of weed for the stress. Weed isn't that bad, it's legal in loads of countries, it's not as though it some hardcore drug"

Hermione looked shocked

"Harry I can't believe you would say that. It is serious and you need to talk to someone if you're feeling so bad your turning to doing _that"_ she said trying to remain calm for her friend's sake.

"It's none of your damn business. Just stay out of it" said Harry losing his temper again.

"You're my friend so it is my business and it's not just about the drugs, you've been acting messed up all year. Sneaking out and drinking and smoking with Ella, yes Harry we all know you and her get drunk every weekend!" she stated angrily but then her voice went soft again "I'm sorry Harry but I'll have to tell someone"

"Oh and who would that be?" he sneered back

"I'll tell Remus. He would know how to deal with this, he can help you"

"Do what you want" replied Harry going back to impassive mode

"I mean it Harry, I'll tell him tonig-" but Harry had already walked off.

He walked straight upstairs ignoring the calls from the table and went into Ron's room. He resisted the urge to scream in frustration as he punched the wall hard. He heard something crack. This is the second time he has done this now. He tried to calm down and concentrate on the pain in his hand instead of what was going to happen next. He sat on his bed and started thinking. If they had been watching him like a hawk before they found out about the weed, then after they find out about it they would probably have someone going to the bathroom with him and watching him sleep. He knew Hermione would tell Lupin, she was too 'sensible'. He didn't think he could cope another four days here normally let alone under drug watch. Then he wouldn't be able to take any smack, they would take it all away from him and make stay in this claustrophobic house while everyone would keep dithering over him and talking to him and... He could just imagine Lupin finding his heroin and coke and the look of disappointment and disgust on his face. "What would sirius say? What would your father say?" he could imagine Lupin asking... All of this was too much for Harry too handle. He should have never come here in the first place. He would have to leave.

It was now 8pm and pitch black outside. He quickly gathered everything into his trunk and thanked Ella for having put that feather light charm on his trunk so it would be easy to carry, especially with a suspected broken hand. He put a cap on and his hood up and fetched his broom from the hallway. He tied his trunk to his broom using his belt and was about halfway through the open window when he realised he should probably leave a note. He quickly got out a pen he had in his muggle jacket.

_Gone to see a mate, don't worry I'll be safe, see you back at Kings cross_

_Harry_

It was a bit weak but he was stressed and didn't know what else to put. He carefully stepped out the window and onto his broom a quickly raced from the Weasley's and carried on way past wards as Harry suspected there would be some kind of alarm that went off when someone leaved. He didn't stop until he was a good mile away and as soon as he landed he signalled for the night bus that would take him to the Library in Little winging. He kept his head down so not to attract any attention and it took just 20 minutes for him to get to his destination.

He quickly got off and kept his good hand on his wand while dragging his trunk by his belt that was looped around his other arm. He had to move fast because it wouldn't take long for someone to ask the night bus if they had picked anyone up like him and where he went. He lit up a cigarette and quickly made his way to the abandoned building, where he and Davy and the gang usually hang out.

When he got there he slowly moved the banged-up door at the back and walked into the hallway. He walked into the room where the mattresses were where they all usually slept after a long night out. He had just lowered his trunk when he noticed that he wasn't alone.

"Davy?" he asked

The figure that was standing at the edge of the room in the dark lowered his knife and pulled down his hood.

"Harry? What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked confused stepping forward into the light from the street lamp that was shining through. Davy looked kind of ill.

Harry also lowered his hood and took off his cap

"That's a nice way to greet someone" he said giving Davy a one armed hug "I was just about to call you" he added with a smile. This place may not be much but Harry already felt 100 times better knowing he was here with Davy.

"What you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?" asked Davy with mock disapproving

"It's the holidays, well for the next few days anyway. I needed to get away from that place"

"You were at the Dursleys? What did they do?" he asked with a hint of concern looking at Harry's messed up hand.

"Nah I wasn't at the Dursleys" he said simply "If I was I would have come to see you lot sooner. Speaking of you lot, where is everyone and are you sober?" Harry asked dramatically sitting down onto a crate.

Davy laughed and sat next to him "Harry there is no fun in alcoholism" he joked in a serious voice "As for that lot, they've all fucked off for half term, something to do with college, I wasn't really listening" 

"Oh well, guess that leaves all the good stuff for ourselves" Harry replied tiredly, it had been a long day. They wouldn't have to hide the heroin with the rest of them gone however he was sad he wouldn't get to see Summer, she always knew how to cheer him up.

"Yep" said Davy grinning. He then looked at Harry for a while as though considering something.

"Hey, why don't you kip at mine for a while, its fucking freezing here"

Harry looked mildly surprised "You sure? Won't your dad mind?"

"Its fine" he started "As for my dad, he's been gone for months now, I doubt he's coming back anytime soon"

Harry just smiled not knowing what to say to that. Davy led him out of the building and through the streets of the West hill estate until they got to a row of run down terrace houses.

"You better not snore" Davy said as they stopped at number 16 and Davy unlocked the door and let Harry through.

"Nah, just the occasional night terrors" replied Harry. He didn't mind if Davy knew about the nightmares. He wouldn't nag about them.

The door went straight into a messy lounge that was joined up with a scruffy kitchen at the back. There wasn't a great lot of furniture and there and to Harry it looked like the shelves had been stripped of their possessions at some point as there were only a few videos and DVD's. He noticed that there were no photos or pictures anywhere.

Davy then led him to his room upstairs, which was fairly spacious with a double bed and a desk and wardrobe. It was again messy and fairly cluttered with various bits and pieces and like downstairs there were quite a few empty bottles and cigarette packets.

"Just drop you stuff where ever" he told Harry over shoulder while he was searching his wardrobe for something. He came out with a bottle of Bacardi and smokes. He opened the bottle and chugged around 3 shots worth and rested at the head of the bed while Harry sat down at the side of the bed against the wall.

"Knock yourself out!" said Davy handing Harry the bottle "Fuck Harry you look tired" he observed as Harry drank from the bottle. Davy reached into his desk draw and got out some bandages and passed them to Harry. "For your hand"

"Thanks" he said and started wrapping his bloodied hand up

"Yeah... well" started Harry in a hoarse voice "I haven't slept in about 3 days"

"How come? You fancy private school not got comfy enough beds for you?" joked Davy

"Hilarious" said Harry sarcastically "And how many times do I have to tell you it's not a private school, it's a school for criminal like children or something like that…" he said zoning out. He didn't know why he kept the Dursleys versions of events now he was away from them. The alcohol was working fast on his empty stomach.

"Same thing" laughed Davy. They continued to talk, except properly this time, unlike their usual drunken ramblings (though they were still drunk). It was weird how comfortable Harry felt with Davy, he was like a brother to him.

"So you don't know where he is?" asked Harry. Hours after Harry had arrived they had gotten to the subject of Davy's dad.

"No fucking idea, he left around a year ago"

"Shit..." replied Harry. At least Harry always had the comfort that his parents didn't leave him by choice.

"I don't care though; I just hope he stays away"

"What about your brother?" asked Harry remembering Davy mentioning him a couple of times.

Davy looked slightly sad for a second "Don't know where he is either. He left a long time ago with his mum. We're only half brothers see, we had the same dad" he drifted off for moment thinking.

"You wanna shoot up?" asked Davy suddenly

"Yeah" Harry replied.

They both got their needles out and Davy got a table spoon from the kitchen to share. Once they had boiled it Davy got equal amounts into each needle. He watched Harry try to hold the needle in his bad hand.

"Come here" he said tightening the belt at the top of Harry's arm and gently hit the back of his fore arm so the veins would rise. He found a vein and carefully inserted the needle into his arm and released the heroin into his blood. Harry immediately relaxed and slumped down against the wall.

"Thanks" he murmured as Davy started injecting his own arm. He slowly relaxed and lied down on his bed his last thoughts being that it was nice to have some company. He hated this house on its own. In the night they eventually shifted so they were sleeping head to toe in Davys bed covered in blankets. Davys house might not be the nicest house Harry's seen, but that night he had the best night's sleep since last summer had began. He had changed his earlier thought about Hogwarts. Now he really didn't want to back.

Xxxxxx

**AN: **I hope you guys liked this chapter. I wasn't actually planning for Harry to do a runner but the idea just came to me while I was writing it.

I think I might get some death eater's and Voldy stuff involved but not a lot as my main focus for this story is about Harry going nuts on drugs.

Please review with feedback and any suggestions :)

**Reviewer comments **

** Inoeth- **Thanks :) I'm gonna try involved them more

**Nebulous Narwhal****- **I'm glad you like it so much :) and yep I do know a Davy as well, several of them lol. I will try and put some Voldy action in one of the next few chapters and I've made more of an effort with my spelling and grammar this time too ;)

** crazyme03- **Yeah I definitely make this story just about killing Voldemort, it will mostly stay on drugs

** blackroselover- **The thing with Ella is, is that she's not really addicted to drugs, she's not the kind of person to get addicted. She has a good family and she also has a load of brothers so she's seen it all before. She's just joining in fun.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from HarryPotter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Thank you for all the good reviews guys, Thought I would announce to everyone that I've just got to 80 alerts and 49 favourites: D I never thought my story would do this well, especially as this is my first ever fan fiction. Enjoy the chapter...

**Chapter Thirteen**

"So Harry was doing drugs?" asked Fred disbelievingly

"Harry? Come on he would never do that, he may have changed a bit but not that much" said George. It was the day after Harryleft and they were all sitting in the lounge waiting for news off Dumbledore who was checking the Dursleys, Mrs Figg and asking around some places Harrymight have gone. Last night they had all searched around the area but have found nothing.

"Ron, I know what I saw, that wasn't a cigarette" said Ginny fiercely

"And how would you know that little sister?" asked George with a frown

"Because it was rolled up and smelt completely different. We did drugs awareness remember?"

"Oh yeah" replied George "That was a fun day"

"Anyway, we have to go" said Fred "Before Harrywent nuts and did a runner we were on our way to check out some premises at Hogsmeade to see if we can expand the business a little"

"Keep us posted" said George as they walked out leaving Bill, Ginny, Ron and Hermione who were all silently thinking.

"Maybe it was just a one off" said Ron out of the blue

"I doubt it" said Bill "Remember a few weeks ago when he was staying at ours? He seemed high then"

"Why didn't you say anything?" asked Ron crossly

"I said that he _seemed _high. I'm not just gonna go up to a guy and ask him if he's high or not" replied Bill calmly

"I think he's suffering from depression" said Hermione quietly "I think that's why he took cannabis; some people believe it helps with that"

The room went silent. Of course no one believed he was a druggie. Everyone thought his behaviour was due to stress and grief.

"You don't think he's addicted do you?" asked Ginny

"I don't know" replied Hermione "He said it was a one off thing and he doesn't look like he's addicted, he looks completely healthy. It was just his behaviour that was odd which is why I thought he was suffering from... well... mental health problems"

"But Harry's always been slightly bonkers, we joke about it all the time..." said Ron hesitantly

"But that was before his Godfather died" said Ginny quietly

Xxxxxx

It was two days later and there was still no sign of Harry. Although Harrywas missing Dumbledore and the Order were not extremely worried as Harryhas run off before (back at Hogwarts) and he seems to be in a good hiding place somewhere as they have no idea where he went. The only thing they were praying for now is that Harrywill have calmed down and will return safe and sound at Kings Cross station.

"Kids today" said Moody "Expected everyone to run around after them and clean up their messes"

"Alastair, I hardly think that's fair" started Mineva "Although it was very foolish it's clear that Mr Potter is not in the right state of mind"

Moody grunted as though the thought was ridiculous.

"What was Potters excuse for his behaviour when confronted?" asked Snape in an unreadable tone. He had remained unusually silent through their conversation so far. He heard about the supposed drugs he was smoking, it led his mind back to summer when he saw the signs of it on Potter and even questioned it. But since Hogwarts began he just seemed unhinged instead of stoned.

"Actually Harrydidn't give any reason to any of actions except that he was stressed" commented Dumbledore calmly. The four were in the staff room back at Hogwarts.

"What if he doesn't come back Albus?" asked McGonagall

"Then we make him" said Moody

"I do believe" said Dumbledore in a slightly raised voice to stop an argument starting "That Harrywill return, a few days to clear his head might be a good idea" he finished thoughtfully.

Xxxxxx

Davy's little run down house soon became Harry's favourite place to be, easily beating the Dursleys, the burrow and even Hogwarts. He had the freedom to do whatever he liked with Davy and in the 3 short days he had in West hill he took advantage of that. On their second night Davy managed to get them into a club with a few of his more 'unusual' friends where Harrygot in another fight with some drunk, making his hand worse, and they didn't get home until 4 in the morning. On their 3rd night Davy and Harrygot so stoned they couldn't even stand and for once in his life it didn't matter as he didn't have to go running off anywhere the next morning so no one got suspicious.

Another great thing about Davy's was that he could do as much drugs as he liked whenever he liked without worrying about getting caught or told off. He had never had this much freedom in his life. He wished he could just live here forever with Davy instead of going back to his other repressed and doomed life.

But he knew he had to go back. No matter how hard it was he had to go back and do the job he was literally born to do.

This is why Harryfound himself still stoned at Kings cross station at 9.20 waiting for Ella to appear on the platform so they could go find a compartment together. The train was leaving earlier than the summer one as everyone had to be back for the Halloween feast. He really wasn't looking forward to seeing the Weasley's again. He knew that they cared about him but they were suffocating him. He thought the good think about having no parents is that no one can boss you around and tell you what to do. He got that bit wrong he thought to himself bitterly.

"Harry!" came a voice and he turned around to see Ella in her the same white winter coat she left in. She ran up to him and gave him a hug.

"How were your holidays?" she asked but Harrywasn't concentrating. He could see a crowd of ginger hair just in the distance and following them was a distressed looking Remus and Tonks.

Harrypulled Ella down and dragged into the nearest compartment which was near the end of the train.

"Ella do me a massive favour" he started "Can you go tell Ron and his family out there that I'm safe and sound in the train, but do it in a casual way, Okay?"

Ella frowned slightly but agreed "Okay" she said brightly and skipped out of the train towards the Weasley's. Harryleft his and her luggage in their compartment and went to hide in the nearest toilets down the hall so he wouldn't have to talk to any of them. He knew that a bad conversation was coming his way but he wanted to hold it off for as long as possible. He had decided last night with Davy that it would be best to hide all of his gear for a while. He didn't know how seriously Dumbledore and the other teachers would take the drug allegations but he couldn't risk them searching him and his trunk. Which was why he was wearing a small drawstring bag under the black tracksuit jacket he borrowed of Davy. In this bag was his invisibility coat contained all the gear he had, besides alcohol which he could risk hiding later. As soon as he got to Hogwarts he would go under the invisibility coat and leg it to the room of requirement where he could hide it.

Harrylooked at his watch, it said 9.29. It was probably safe now for them to see him as they couldn't try to strike up a conversation when the leave was going to leave in less than a minute. He walked out of the trains toilets and passed the windows over towards his and Ella's compartment. He saw Remus and Bill and they froze and looked straight at him. Harryjust nodded at them and made his way back to his compartment.

"You care to tell me what that was about? They seemed angry" stated Ella as Harrywalked into the compartment and shut the blinds and locked the doors.

"Ginny caught me smoking pot, Hermione yelled at me, so I ran off back to Surrey and spent the rest of the holidays getting trashed. So better than most" he said casually

"Cool. We went skiing." Said Ella simply. One of the reasons Harryenjoyed Ella's company so much is that she never asks questions or gets mad or shocked at what you tell her.

"What was that like?" asked Harry

"Cold" she said "But anyway, enough about skiing, when are we next going to have a party with Summer and the rest of them? You may have been drunk the whole holidays but I've been stuck on a mountain with nothing but water and the occasional cig and annoying brothers to keep me company"

"The horror! Well I doubt we'll be able to sneak out any time soon. The teachers are probably going to be watching every move I make this term" he finished bitterly while pulling out a cigarette.

"So how was your love fest with Davy?" asked Ella and she laughed at the face he gave her "Summer had already text me saying she, Lucy and Will were on a school trip during the half term hols, leaving you and Davy on your own, god forbid"

"It was fun, more of an alcohol fest then a love fest, though Davy is a friendly drunk" Harrysaid

"Yeah I remember" laughed Ella.

For the rest of the train journey they talked about their holidays and how they're going to sneak out next. They arrived at Hogsmeade station at 4pm and everyone started to make their way towards the carriages that would take them back up to Hogwarts. Harrymade sure that he and Ella were on one of the first carriages so he could get their quickly and hide his stash. Once they arrived at the school gates Harryput on his invisibility cloak and joined the crowd of people entering the entrance hall where he saw McGonagall waiting as though searching for someone... probably him. He quickly ran to the side and into the dudgeons away from Mad eye moody's vision (who was also waiting in the hall) and went through a secret passageway that lead to the 3rd floor.

Harrycontinued until he reached the room of requirement. He paced in front of the wall thinking 'I need somewhere to hide my bag' three times and himself in front of a large door. He entered into a room larger then a warehouse (and nicer looking then one too) and there were massive piles of old discarded objects littering the room. Harrymoved into one of the corners a placed his drawstring bag on top of a cupboard behind some old books. No one would ever find it here.

He ran back down to the entrance hall where the last crowd of people were piling in and took off his invisibility cloak. Of course McGonagall noticed him straight away and dragged him off towards Dumbledore's office.

"Come on Potter, we don't have all day" she snapped while Harryrolled his eyes. She dropped him off at the headmaster's door. Harryknocked and waited.

"Enter"

"Ah Mr Potter, do have a seat" said Dumbledore

Harrywordlessly sat down opposite Dumbledore.

"You gave us all quite a scare last week Harry. Would you mind telling me why you left?" asked Dumbledore, though he already had an idea why.

"I just needed a break from everyone. It wasn't even my choice to go there in the first place" he replied dully after a while of silence "Anyway, at least I left a note this time..."

"Indeed" said Dumbledore "However due to the last couple of years you can see why everyone was worried about you Harry"

Harrydidn't answer. He was slightly wary as the last speech he got off Dumbledore made him want to kill something. However, this time he was surprised.

"Harry, I think I owe you an apology after our last encounter" started Dumbledore "Although it was very reckless of you, I was not aware of certain things back then and even over looked some thinks that I was aware of"

'Certain things?' Harryasked himself

"Harry, me and professor McGonagall think it would help if you had a, err, councillor I believe the muggle term is" he said gently but with a hint of authority.

"You want me to see a shrink?" Harryasked in a deadpanned way

"Not a shrink Harry, just someone to talk to. In the past I have un-appreciated how much you have been through at such a young age" he said sadly. He that Harry's new behaviour was partly his fault.

"Is this optional?" asked Harrydully

"I'm afraid not. The person you will be seeing is a friend of a friend of mine from Canada. Her name is Healer Johnson and from what I have heard she is an excellent health practitioner and has worked with many people your age in lots of different situations. I've booked the first session for Thursday at 7pm"

He considered arguing and yelling but he knew there would be no point at all.

"Whatever" said Harryand stood up to leave and go to the feast to face Ron and Hermione. Harrydid find it weird that Dumbledore didn't ask where Harrywent after legging it from the Weasley's or why he did it. He also found it weird that he mentioned nothing about drugs or his 'unusual' behaviour. Instead he passed him on to a shrink.

Xxxxxx

'I wonder where Sirius and my dad would sit' was Harry's only thought as he was sitting at the Halloween feast not eating anything. 'Probably not at the front' he thought and laughed out loud scaring a couple of 3rd years sat near him. 'Maybe they sat by the doors for an easy escape route for when their pranks went wrong or a professor was about to tell them off. Or maybe, they sat in the middle of the table as they were always the centre of attention. Why can't I have been like that?' he thought. 'I wonder if Sirius or my dad ever did drugs?'. But somehow Harrydoubted that either Sirius or his dad had ever done blow before attending the Halloween feast.

"Err Harry? Are you okay?"

Harrylooked up to see Neville staring at him nervously.

"I'm fine thanks Neville, how was your holidays?" he asked slightly too quickly to be normal. Cocaine tended to do that to him.

"Good thanks, how were yours?" he asked hesitantly. Maybe Seamus and Dean were right about Harry...

"Excellent! Punched an Irish dude in the face but he deserved it" Harrystated trying to speak normally but it just made it worse.

Neville looked startled at this exclamation. He gave a weak laugh

"You better not tell Seamus that" he said lamely then quickly started a conversation with the person next to him but Harrydidn't notice as he was too busy staring at his fork...

Xxxxxx

Thursday had come around fast. The last few days had been a mixed up blur to Harryand he wouldn't have remembered his session with the lady from the funny farm if Professor McGonagall hadn't reminded him after dinner. Had he remembered, he would have purposely tried to skip it. McGonagall started to escort him towards the hospital wing where he would meet the healer while he thought about the week he'd had.

His friendship with Ron and Hermione was as strained as ever. Hermione had tried to confront him about what happened at first while Ron just sat there looking awkward but after Harryrefused to properly answer any of her questions she eventually dropped it. He just repeated and extended a little on what he said at the burrow: He was stressed and it was a one off thing he did now and then, he got a bit off of Dudley but now he's run out anyway and it was all a big deal out of nothing. He then apologised for running out on them. He refused to tell them where he went though.

He knew he was drifting apart from them. It made him sad in one way but relieved in another. It took so much effort to be friends with them where as friendship came so easily with Davy and the rest.

Harrygot to the hospital wing and was lead to a private room. It was a nice airy room with a large window with blinds and there were some comfy chairs opposite each other next to a fire. Sitting on one of the chairs nearest the window was a fairly pretty and kind looking woman with long brown hair tied up in a pony tail and she was wearing a light brown muggle suit. She smiled at Harryand gestured for him to sit in the lounge chair opposite him.

"Hi, my name is healer Johnson, and you must be Harry?" she said warmly. Harrycould immediately tell why she worked with a lot of kids his age. She had a very trusting and friendly vibe about her.

Harryjust nodded and watched her carefully. 'How could Dumbledore expect him to spill his guts out to a complete stranger with the amount of people trying to kill him?'

She laughed "I know that look" she started "Before we start I will remind you that whatever you tell me, stays with me. I am legally not allowed to repeat anything you say as it comes under patient confidentiality. Okay?"

"So whatever I tell you, you can't repeat?" asked Harrywith his eyebrows raised

"Within reason, of course. If you tell me something that could cause immediate threat to yourself or others I then legally have to inform someone as you are a minor" she said seriously

Harrywondered for a moment what she'd do if he told her he took heroin. Not that he would...

"So to get started heres a questionnaire I want you to fill out later" she said passing Harrya form that had 'Mental health assessment' written at the top of it. Harrygave her a deadpanned look

"Thanks."

She ignored Harry's expression and carried on "They're pretty simple questions and just gives me an over view of how your feeling. Now today I'm just going to ask you some questions and you just tell me how you feel, okay?"

Harrysaid nothing and just stared at her. He was 5 minutes in and had already promised himself that he was definitely not coming back to this woman.

Xxxxxx

"Hey, what's up with you?" asked Ella 40 minutes later. She was huddled in her coat smoking on the astronomy tower balcony. Harryfound the cold clear winter night very refreshing.

"Nothing much" he replied lighting up a cigarette "They're making me see a councillor" he said after a minute.

"Not surprised. With the shit you've been through you should have had one following you round from day 1" said Ella with a small laugh.

"My life ain't too bad" he said "There are others in much worse positions" 'Yeah and you killed one of them' his mind told himself.

"I dunno Harry, you must be in the top 10" she said

"Hardly. I'm alive, I've got food, shelter, booze and cigs" 'and heroin' he added in his head. "There are some people that don't even have one of those" he finished

"Well yeah, if they're not alive then they're dead... Oh come on Harrywhy you so down?" she asked him.

Harrysat on the edge of the balcony dangling one of his legs bellow. He looked down over the edge.

"Sometimes I just wonder whether it's all worth it..."

Xxxxxx

**AN: **Hope you lot enjoyed the chapter. It was a bit of a filler in chapter but there will be plenty of action in the next one ;)

I thought I should also mention that from now on I might not be updating as much as usual because I start college this week. I will try to update as much as possible as I love writing this story and I still have so many ideas for it.

Please review with feedback and any suggestions :)

**Reviewer comments **

** blackroselover- **Thank you :) I'm still not completely sure how it's going to end but I have some definite ideas for some of it

**Nebulous Narwhal****- **Thanks :) I'm glad people liked the running away part

** Holzzzz- **I'm glad you like the story :) and I agree that their reactions will be interesting when they find out the full extent of his drug use


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Thank you for all the kind comment's and reviews :) I'm sorry it's taken longer than usual for an update, college is harder than I thought lol. Anyway, Enjoy...

**Chapter Fourteen **

"They're taking the house away?" asked Harry indecorously "Why?" he asked into the receiver. Harry was sitting in his usual place on the astronomy tower balcony with a cigarette in his hand and his phone in the other. He was wrapped up in as many clothes he could find as it was now midday in the middle of November and it had gotten considerably colder.

"They found out my dad doesn't live here anymore so they stopped all the benefits coming in" Davy said dully

"But you have money coming in, don't you?" asked Harry, he knew Davy made quite a lot through selling drugs and he had a few part time jobs.

"Yeah but the house didn't belong to us in the first place, it's a council house and it was in my dad's name" he said bitterly

"How did they find out your dad wasn't there?" asked Harry

"No fucking idea, probably that old bitch of a neighbour that kept calling the cops on us every time dad got pissed and fell asleep in her front garden" replied Davy and Harry could tell he rolled his eyes while saying this.

"Sorry mate. Where you gonna go?" asked Harry. He wished he could help Davy out like he had to him in the past.

"Will said I could stay at his for a while but I don't know after a while..." he said

"Why don't you just stay at Wills permanently? Well until you can get your own place and all that" said Harry. Will and Davy were practically best mates.

"Well..." said Davy and he sounded a bit hesitant "Me and Will had a bit of an argument... it's all good now but I don't really wanna get under his feet"

"Okay..." said Harry wondering what the argument was about, he had never seen either of them argue, Will didn't seem like a guy that would start an argument.

"I wish I could help you out mate but I'm stuck in this school for the next year" said Harry depressed.

"It's okay" said Davy also sounding unusually sad. "Hey by the way when do you want to next meet up?"

"Err what day is it today?" asked Harry

"Monday I think" said Davy and Harry inwardly cursed 'Occlumency tonight' he thought to himself

"How about tomorrow?" asked Harry

"Sounds good"

So they arranged the time and the place to see each other tomorrow and said their goodbyes. Harry did feel really bad for Davy getting kicked out. Why was he always so unable to help other people? He thought to himself. So many people including Davy have helped him in the past but Harry is never able to help them when they need it. It made him feel so hopeless.

It was currently lunch time and Harry had decided once again go for a black 'Irish' coffee instead of food and spend his time talking to Davy on the phone. There was about 10 minutes of lunch left before lessons started so he went down towards the great hall to tell Ella about tomorrow.

"Hey Ella" he said sitting next to her at the Gryffindor table. Opposite her were two 7th years that Harry didn't know the names of.

"Hi. Are you gonna eat today or just stare at your plate?" she asked with raised eyebrows. She had noticed how tired he was, it was starting to show a little through the glamour's and he was acting stranger. Harry noticed a group of students behind the two 7th years staring at him and whispering. He really hated it when people stared at him. 'What if they were planning something?' Thought Harry.

"How about I just stare at your pretty face instead?" he asked in a mock soppy voice trying to ignore the paranoia growing inside of him.

One of the other guys laughed "That's a pretty good distraction technique"

"Yeah sure it is" said Ella rolling her eyes.

"Would you stop fucking staring at me!" Harry said suddenly towards the group in front of him in a harsh voice. The students looked shocked and quickly made their way away from Harry and out the hall.

"What were they doing?" asked Ella while the two 7th years were giving Harry strange looks.

"They keep staring at me. People keep following me" said Harry looking around him

"Harry when was the last time you slept?" asked Ella in a low voice

"In Charms I think... Why?" asked Harry. Truthly the last time he slept for more than 20 minutes was about 2 days ago. He didn't want to go to sleep anymore.

"No reason, just checking" said Ella moving from concerned to bubbly again. Harry would be fine, he's just grouchy when he's hung over, she thought to herself.

"Anyway, you wanna trip tomorrow?" asked Harry in a low voice to Ella

"_Yes, _I need a break from all this studying. The teachers are acting as though we're a week away from NEWTS instead of 7 months"

"Okay I'll catch you later" said Harry and walked clumsily out of the hall

Xxxxxx

Harry knocked on Professor Snape's door at 7pm that night for his Occlumency lesson and waited for the usual 'enter' before he entered the room. When he did enter Snape looked at him. There was something wrong with him and he knew it. Harry looked like a normal healthy boy but if you looked carefully enough you could see something else, like he was tired or ill, especially around the eyes. His behaviour had also become even more erratic. At first he wondered if he was just doig it for attention but now he wasn't sure... This wondering was making him even more annoyed at the boy.

"Sit Potter" demanded Snape and he pointed to the chair in front of his desk "It takes most people, 2 months of lessons to be able to block out a simple attack on the mind. Its been 4 months and you can't even do that" he said snidely

"They probably had a good teacher"

"10 points of Gryfindor. That's unlike you Potter, to blame other hard working people for your own failures" he replied sarcastically

"Whatever" said Harry impassivly and stared firmly back at the potions master.

Snape shot him a disgusted look.

"Just like you father and trust me thats nothing to be proud of" he said coldly

"Really?" asked Harry sarcastically "because everyone esle disagrees. Infact its only you who has ever said that, well you and Voldemort-"

"Do not say that name!" said Snape harshly

"Fucking wimp" muttered Harry wondering why he had even showed up to this lesson. He had skived the last two. Snape's glare seemed to get ten times nastier.

"Abother 30 points of Gryffinor. You know what I find odd Potter?" asked Snape snidely. Whatever it was Harry knew it wasn't going to be good.

"That even though your lack of effort last year had already resulted in that mutt killed, you still continue not to try. And we were under the impression that you cared for him..." he said sarcastically with a smirk.

Harry was so angry at this point that he couldn't think of a come back. Instead he just stared Snape down. Although Harry did blame himself for Sirius's death, in his eyes it never, ever gave Snape any right what so ever to say it.

"What, no resort? I thought the '_new you' _we've all had the displeasure of seeing would have somthing else to say?" said Snape icily with is lips curling.

Harry still said nothing and carried on staring at him, he knew that would piss him off. But inside he was having an inward battle. He knew he deserved this and much more for his stupidity for getting Sirius killed. However at the same time he wanted to kill Snape as he had a part in Sirius's death and he was standing here gloating about it in Harry's face.

Snapes lips curled and he pointed his wand at Harry

"Prepare your mind. Legillemens!"

Snape invaded his mind once again and shifted through his memories, mostly consisting of Sirius and anything connected to his parents. It was just the usual torture he had to endur until about an hour in Snape found a different memory...

_He and Davy were in the aboned building in West Hill Estate, they were leaning against the wall drunk and Davy starts to pull something out of his jacket pocket... the top of what looks like a needle..._

Harry stared around and found himself back in Snapes classroom. Like he had done last summer he had blasted him out of his mind just in time... or was it? He didn't know how much Snape had seen, Davy had definetely pulled out a needle. He had managed these last few months to hide everything incriminating from Snape during occllumency lessons. Most of the time all the memories were about the sad things like Sirius and Cedric being killed and his parents... Him taking drugs never came up because in Harry's mind they were good things.

Snape was recovering and ajusting his robes. He turned around and was giving Harry an unreadable look. 

Xxxxxx

Harry walked furiously back to Gryfindor tower. Snape had made him stay for 3 hours and had ruthlessly tried to find other memories like the one he found with Davy. It took all Harry's strengh to stop him from seeing anything too bad but he had seen the needle and he had also seen more of Davy and the gang with drugs around if you looked closely enough, which Snape probably did. He eventually gave up on that and went back to memories of Sirius.

He stopped at the stairs and decided instead to go to the astronomy tower to be alone. Once he got there he lit up a cigarette with shaking hands.

He hated Snape. He was going to ruin everything as usual. He couldn't keep on with the occlumency lessons, it was too dangerous. From now on he will just have to completley refuse. Why did that bastard keep intefering with his life when it was none of his business. Why did he keep rubbing in Sirius's death. He was a grown man and Snape only got what gave back in high school with his dad. James had never bullied Snape infact Snape probably started it and here he was now picking on a kid, Harry thought to him self furiously.

For the sake of his hand, he decided to try and calm himself down before he punched something again and he knew exactly what would calm him down...

Xxxxxx

The next morning Ella was sitting at breakfast with the two 7th year guys she was talking to the day before when Harry had told her about meeting up with Davy again. The first guy was called Eric and she had been friends with him since their 5th year and the other boy was called Dan and they had been mates since their 1st year.

"I see your friend Potter isn't joining you for breakfast today" stated Eric with slight distaste looking up and down the length of the hall, there was no sign of him.

"Incase you havn't noticed, Harry never joins me for breakfast, he doesn't eat breakfast" replied Ella coolly

"Yeah but we have an idea of what he's doing instead" said Dan with a smirk

"And what would that be?" asked Ella casually

"Playing with Mary Jane" replied Dan with a bigger smirk

"Puffing the magic dragon" added Eric

"Rollin' in grass"

"Hilarious" said Ella dryly "What makes you think he does drugs?" asked Ella still remaining surprisingly casual considering she had seen him snort cocaine only a few weeks ago.

"Well firstly, because he's hanging out with you" said Dan bluntly

"Hey! I'm not a bad influence!" said Ella

"Maybe he's the bad influence on you then" commented Eric

"Theres nothing wrong with Harry and everyone does a little bit of weed" said Ella in a low voice. Luckily the spaces around them were clear.

"Of course there is nothing wrong with a bit of weed; in fact I suggest it for some people. However, and I hate to say it seeing as he's supposed to be our saviour and all, Harry Potter is fucking cracked in the head"

"What do you mean he's cracked in the head?" asked Ella warily

"He has a few screws loose, not playing with a full deck of cards, crazy-"

Ella rolled her eyes "You could have just said crazy, what is it with you too and-?"

"Don't change the subject. I mean did you see what he did last week to that Slytherin kid?" said Dan

"Hey! He deserved it! You can't say something like that about someone's dead parents and expect to get away with it" said Ella but she did inwardly cringe at the memory. Some 6th year Slytherin who's friendly with Malfoy had made a comment to Harry's face while he was sitting at the breakfast tables about Harry's parents been scum just as he was and was about to walk away laughing when Harry stepped up to him and violently kicked him square in the chest and he went flying and toppled backwards over the Slytherins table. It had caused quite an uproar as it was lunch time and everyone in the hall had seen him do it. The Slytherin was spitting up blood and couldn't breathe properly and had to be quickly taken to the hospital wing. The whole time Harry hadn't said anything; he just stared impassively at the guy and walked off.

"Yeah he shouldn't have made whatever comment he did but you still don't go round kicking people like that in front of so many people" said Eric

"Usually I like seeing Slytherins getting beaten up but there was something disturbing about that" said Dan

This surprised Ella slightly. Most the other houses in the school congratulated Harry for it and were even in awe of him (if not slightly scared) but disturbing?

Ella smiled slightly "You two are so melodramatic. Of course he is going to react badly when someone says something bad about his parents, especially after all the things he has been through and that kid was probably a son of a death eater" she said firmly but inside she wondered whether there was some truth to what they were saying?

Xxxxxx

Harry was completely enraged with himself. Out of all the stupid mistakes he had made this had to be the biggest. He stared at the floor in the corner of the room of requirement where the last of his heroin had been. It had been morphine from a hospital that had been tampered with until it became smack. That is why it had been already in liquid form. It was supposed to be better.

He hadn't had his fix last night, he had come to the room to find that the jar of it had fallen of the small cupboard and smashed, and it must have been the day before last night when it happened as most of it had evaporated. He was so desperate he tried snorting it off the floor but it barely did anything. His hands were shaking worse than usual and he felt a slight itching feeling all over his body and his head was pounding. Even if he had his fix last night it would have been later than usual and he knew he probably wouldn't get anything until tonight.

These are some of the many reasons to why he did end up punching a wall after all. As well as a desk, a wardrobe and a stack of books, everything he could find in the room of requirement. He wanted to hurt himself for being so stupid, for not having any backups, for probably being high and breaking the only small jar of precious heroin left.

To calm the shaking and aching down he drank way too much and snorted many lines of coke which did help the drug withdrawal a bit but the cocaine with the lack of sleep did nothing good for his already bad temper. His angry thoughts about Snape and Sirius went swirling around his at 100 miles per hour and instead of the immediate euphoria he usually got, instead he felt confused, overly giddy and vaguely sick. He had noticed that recently his highs weren't as good as before. Without the heroin he didn't even fall unconscious that night.

It made it worse that he had a full day of lessons today and he was already in enough trouble as it is for skiving. As long as he showed up the professors didn't seem to care.

"Harry are you okay?" asked Hermione

Harry blinked and looked around; he didn't remember leaving the room of requirement. He saw that he was in the charms room and Hermione and Ron were watching him closely along with some other Gryffindors.

"I'm fine" he snapped and they all turned back around, probably wanting to avoid been kicked.

It was another theory lesson and Harry's hands were starting to shake badly again so the very little that he did write was practically unreadable. Hermione gave him a sour look but didn't say anything.

After charms they had potions. Harry was considering not going to the lesson but the anger inside him over took and wanted him to go and face the people that have tried to make his life hell while at Hogwarts. They entered straight into the classroom and sat at the back with Harry on the edge of the row. Snape made a comment about him just after two minutes in. He was probably still mad about yesterday when Harry called him a coward. Harry was again too angry to reply and tried to just ignore him. He could see Malfoy and cronies laughing at the side.

"Hey Potter, why you shaking? Aww are we crying? Don't tell me you've killed another pet?" asked Malfoy smirking from across the aisle. Snape was acting as though nothing was happening.

Harry's heart was pounding fast around his body and his hands shook even more. He had never hated someone as much as he did now.

"Did I hit a sore spot Potter? I bet that hurts, knowing you killed your own parent's best friends, but then again you killed you own parents too so-"

Harry flung his cauldron to the side and started to step towards Malfoy who openly laughed but backed off a bit behind Crabbe and Goyle.

"Potter!" shouted Snape and Harry paused, shaking with anger, drug withdrawal and sleep deprivation.

Snape stood at the front just in front of his desk and stared coldly at Harry.

"50 points from Gryffindor" he said smirking while all the Gryffindors glared at Snape angrily.

"Potter are you incapable of controlling yourself at all?"He asked snidely while the Slytherins smirked. "You would think you'd have learnt some self control after the incidents at the ministry"

The whole room was silent and watching the two tensely, even the Slytherin side. Not everyone knew what Snape was referring to but they understood the tone.

"The-chosen-one or not, I think your an ignorant child" he said coldly.

"And I think you're a pathetic c**t" (**A/N- **I don't know whether I can say that word on this site but I think you all know what word it is ;)

The silence was deafening. The whole room just stared at him in shock. No one had ever called a teacher a swear word before let alone that one. Some of the Gryffindors were smiling ever so slightly and awkwardly watching the two. The Slytherins were between complete shock and even slight awe, calling Snape that was not a good idea.

Even Snape looked mildly shocked but then his expression turned to dangerous anger but before he could do anything Harry kicked his chair away, where it hit some Slytherin shins, and walked quickly out of the classroom before he did something he regretted.

Xxxxxx

The news spread like wild fire around Hogwarts. Harry Potter, the supposed chosen one, calling Professor Snape one of the most hated professor the 'C word'.

He was currently hiding in a passageway on the fourth floor waiting until it was late enough to start heading to Hogsmeade and get the Night bus back to Surrey. He had already had a close call with McGonagall when he went for lunch as he had been so high at the time he had forgotten that he was hiding. However he soon remembered as when he had walked into the Great Hall everyone turned around to look at him with looks varying from awe and amusement to wariness and disapproving and then there was McGonagall at the top looking very pissed off. He had to run out fast before she reached him.

He stayed in his hiding place and waited for Ella to show up.

"Harry, what the hell? It took ages to find this place" she said as soon as she entered the passage

"Because, if they can't find me then they can't talk to me and if they don't talk to me, I don't have to subject my body to as much torment as I usually do. So really it's for my health's sake" he said quickly while dragging Ella to the one-eyed witch passageway. His whole body was shaking and itching. The quicker he could get a fix the better.

"Harry, please tell me it isn't just a rumour?" asked Ella dramatically ducking under the next set off stairs in the passage.

"What is?" asked Harry distractedly

"The whole Snape thing? I mean, Johnny once called him a prick but what you did was amazing... I wish I could have been there" she said thoughtfully

"I'm surprised someone hasn't done it sooner" he replied getting under his invisibility cloak while Ella flagged for the night bus.

"Yeah well, he kind gives off the psychotic murderer vibe so that probably puts people off" said Ella.

They stopped talking while they got on the bus so no one would hear Harry and no one would think Ella was crazy. They got off ay their usual stop and walked towards their old abandoned building in Westhill Estate. When they got in there (without doing a secret knock this time) they found the usual gang with 2 new people.

"Harry!" shouted Summer and jumped onto him and gave him a hug. He hadn't met up with the gang for a while now.

"I thought you had forgotten about us" said Lucy smiling from the back of the room. She hugged Harry and stole his freshly lit cigarette out of his mouth.

"We couldn't forget about you Luce even if we tried!" shouted Davy who was currently with the two people he didn't know.

Harry headed towards him wanting to shoot up as soon as possible.

"This is Liam" said Davy pointing to the guy with brown hair "And this is Steve" he pointed to the guy with dark blue hair

"And this is Harry" he finished

"Hi" said Harry absently "Davy can we talk for a sec?"

"Yeah sure, wait a second guys" he said to Liam and Steve

Davy led Harry out the door and into a smaller room that was more in the back of the building.

"You need some smack?" asked Davy straight away

"Yeah, am I that obvious?" said Harry feeling a lot better seeing Davy pull out a small vile of liquid.

"I can see the shakes a mile off" he said simply after taking the money from Harry. He watched as Harry tied up and injected his arm with heroin. Davy thought it was weird watching someone else shoot up, you could see all of Harry's tension and troubles just float away and let the happiness take over. He waited for a couple of minutes before asking if he was ready and they made their way back into the room.

The next hour was a complete haze for Harry. In his desperation to get high he did take a little more smack then usual and mixed with the alcohol he could barely walk. They had spent the hour chatting and catching up and eventually left the building to wonder the streets. It was only 12 when the group split up; Harry, Davy and Steve went back to a different part of the estate while the others went to get a takeout and go back to Lucy's.

They walked to a side of the Estate near where Davy lived and to another rundown 3 story building on a rough road lit up by street lamps. They climbed up to the top of the building through the old fire escape and walked around on the flat roof.

"What do you think of Steve?" asked Davy slurred while smoking a cigarette. It must have been cold as Harry could see both their own breaths.

"He seems like an okay guy" said Harry absently watching Steve on the other side of the roof skipping about. It was harder to concentrate while drunk.

"Yeah but he can be a fucking wacko, constantly tripping on acid"

"I can tell" commented Harry watching Steve pirouetting over some trash.

"Even I wouldn't touch that shit... Anyway, I'm too sober to deal with him right now, drink up!" he said handing Harry another bottle of something strong, he was too far gone to know what it was.

They downed the rest of the bottle between them both and found themselves running around with Steve. Harry could hardly see straight, the heroin was still strongly pumping around his veins and his whole body, and even his mind felt numb. From the looks of it Davy was just as gone as him.

It was in this moment of blurriness and clouded judgment that they found themselves on the ledge of the roof messing around and staring up at the sky. Why couldn't life always be like this? Harry thought to himself staring up at the stars. Why did there have to be so much death and pain? Why did he have to be the chosen one? He didn't belong in that world...

He was so deep in thought that he didn't move or notice when Steve tripped and fell right back into Harry, pushing him over the building ledge.

He felt the air take him and then he fell into dizziness...

Xxxxxx

**AN: **A bit of a cliff hanger lol, I've never really had one in this story and I think it's about time I did. I'm going to speed things up a bit next chapter and people will start to see how bad Harry really is, because right now they're still pretty clueless.

Also, another warning that I might not be updating as often as usual because of college but I will definitely try to update as often as possible and will definitely carry this story on until the end.

Please review with feedback and any suggestions :)

** AnythingTwilightMakesMeHappy: **Thank you :) I'm gonna need it lol


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Thank you for the reviews :) I'm almost at 100 alerts! Can't believe that my first fanfic has been doing so well. I decided to update fast because I don't want to keep you guys waiting and I couldn't seem to get away from the lap top. It's a little shorter than usual but hopefully the next one will be longer. Enjoy...

**Chapter Fifteen **

_He was so deep in thought that he didn't move or notice when Steve tripped and fell right back into Harry, pushing him over the building ledge. _

_He felt the air take him and then he fell into dizziness... _

Harry opened his eyes and slowly looked around. He was lying on the cold and slightly wet ground. It was still dark and cold and he could hear some distant blurred voices. It was like he was seeing in slow motion. '_He had fallen'_ he thought to himself and he looked up clumsily to where he had been on the buildings ledge, but he had felt no pain... _Was he dead? Was this some kind of out of body experience he was having?_ His mind started whirling, 'I must be dead' he kept thinking to himself and he started to panic. 

He sat up slowly and felt around; he could move every part of his body so he wasn't paralyzed, but why wasn't he in pain? He felt slightly sore but he seemed to be fine...

"Harry!" shouted someone in the distance and Davy's face appeared in front of him.

"Harry, Harry! Fuck! Are you okay mate?" asked Davy quickly in a breathless voice kneeling down next to him

Harry looked at Davy dazed

"I think I'm dead" he said absently. Why else couldn't he feel anything?

Davy just laughed and pulled Harry up and into a hug. He then held him out at arm's length and started inspecting him for any damage.

"Holy shit you are one lucky guy, there's hardly a scratch on you" he said prodding at Harry who was standing in a zombie like state waiting for something bad to happen. 'What the hell just happened?' he asked himself

"Where's Steve?" he asked Davy still really confused

"Steve? Oh yeah I decked him after he practically pushed you off that ledge, he's going to be out for a while... I think we need to get you back to Lucy so she can have a look at you" said Davy with a hint of concern in his voice while he watched Harry zone out.

He put his hand on Harry's back and led him off back to Lucy's as Lucy was training to be a nurse and would know what to do.

"He fell off a 3 story building?" asked Lucy when they got to hers, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, you should have seen it, then he just got back up!" said Davy laughing but then went serious again "You should probably check him out a bit" he said pointedly to Harry who was repeatedly smacking himself in the head. Ella was watching slightly worried while Summer and Will went to get drinks (non alcoholic) for everyone.

"Harry for fucks sake what did you get yourself into?" she asked pulling Harry's arms away from him and started looking over his body.

"I can't feel anything" he said flippantly while punching himself in the leg to demonstrate.

Lucy rolled her eyes and carried on her inspection. He had a few faded bruises and scratches but otherwise he seemed fine...

"Are you sure he fell off a 3 story building?" she asked indecorously

"Yeah" said Davy defiantly while frowning

"Are you positive? Because the last time you said someone fell off a building you were both actually just pissed rolling around on the road while screaming at bins. Is this another one of those times?" she asked in a bored voice

"Hey! I didn't say that Phil fell off a building; I said he jumped out of a Macky D's window. Harry did fall off the building! We all saw him!" said Davy while lighting up a cigarette.

"Well he seems fine to me, how can he jump off a 3 story building and not feel any pain?" she asked

"Look at him Luce" said Davy in a low voice dragging Lucy to the side while trying to balance himself by holding her shoulder. Harry was silently staring ahead blankly at the wall "Does that look right to you?" he asked

"No he doesn't look right. What drugs did you give him?" asked Lucy shrugging Davy's hand off of her.

"What do you mean?" asked Davy innocently

"You know full well what I meant and I pray for your sake you haven't taken what I think you've taken" said Lucy in a very angry voice

"Chill Luce, we haven't taken anything too bad, Harry's just acting crazy cuz he's hit his head a bit too hard" said Davy in a mock sincere voice

Lucy was about to come up with an angry resort but was interrupted by Ella

"Hey guys, I think I'm going to take Harry back now" she said

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea" replied Lucy who went over to Harry and checked him over again.

Harry stood up, helped by Ella and they made their way out after saying their goodbyes and hugs. Harry still managed to say goodbye to everyone but was still in shock over what happened. Although he was now convinced he was not dead, he was still upset and he couldn't figure out why.

He stared out of the night bus's window watching everything fly past him, sort of reminding him of when he fell... Except it all happened so fast he couldn't completely remember what happened. He had felt a surge of panic at first and then something else... he couldn't remember what though.

His thoughts were interrupted when the bus came to their stop in Hogsmeade. He and Ella both got off the bus and silently started the walk back to Hogwarts. He knew that his magic must have saved him somehow. A normal person doesn't survive something like that.

When they got back they headed off to the room of requirement to talk. Harry checked his watch and saw that it was only 1.20 in the morning. He had ruined everyone's time just for this...

"Harry, are you sure your feeling okay?" asked Ella concerned

"Yeah I'm fine" he said absently

"Did you really fall off that building? Because if you did you should probably go to Madam Pomfrey, she won't ask any questions..."

"I'm fine Ell's" he sent blankly still staring ahead thinking.

Harry leaned back against the wall. He wasn't sure when Ella left and how long he had been here, he just wanted the usual blackness to take over him and block the rest of the world out.

Xxxxxx

The next morning Harry found himself half sleeping, half day dreaming in his chair in Defence against the dark arts. He was wearing his usual baggy black hoodie over his uniform and was laying his head on the desk. This was partly because he was sleepy after last night, but it was mostly because of the pain that was running around the whole of his body, this was the only position that didn't feel too bad. He had most definitely fallen from a 3 story building last night; he did not even want to think about what his body looked like under his glamour's. He had woken up, after about 2 hours sleep, to this pain and even the Vicodin wasn't do much for him. He found himself actually being quite shocked that he was so wasted last night that he couldn't feel a 3 story drop... Even though he knew it wasn't healthy, the self destructive part of himself felt quite pleased.

"Today we will be looking at disguises..." started Moody but Harry had already drifted off to a zombie like state. He wrapped his arms around his sore head and waited or the lesson to be over. However it only about three quarters way through when he heard someone call his name. He inwardly rolled his eyes; did it look like he was listening? He thought to himself.

Harry raised his head to look at Moody who was looking at him, at first with expectancy then with a frown. Suddenly there were gasps all around the room and the whole class was turned to look at him with shocked faces. Bewildered, Harry looked around to see what was going on; he looked at Hermione who looked like she had tears in her eyes

"Harry?" she asked very slight with her voice full of worry.

"What?" he asked the room angrily

"Your face..." Hermione said uncertainly

Harry looked the board at the front of the room and he felt like he had suddenly been plunged in cold water. 'Concealed Glamour's' was written on the board. Harry quickly looked down at his hands and saw bruises, cuts and grazes. His glamour's had fallen. Harry's breath got caught in his chest and he felt like he couldn't breathe. _He had to get out of here _he thought to himself and quickly exited the room and tried to run (though unsuccessfully due to his injuries) back to the Gryffindor common rooms. Some students that had been let out early or that had not had classes stared at him in complete shock; the same reaction was there when he got to the common room as well.

He ran up the stairs and grabbed a bag from his trunk and went into the boy's dormitories bathroom and locked the door. He quickly went over to the mirror and his eyes widened and his mind went blank. He frantically looked over himself.

It didn't even look like him anymore. His whole body was much thinner than before giving him a more wiry look. His eyes looked bloodshot and very tired. There were dark circles underneath them and bags and his skin was as white as a sheet, especially his face which was also thin. But the worst thing was the bruises and cuts littering his body. There was a bad bruise going all the way up his side of his torso leading up to a very bruise shoulder as well as his hip, this was along with random little cuts all over his body. His arms had a few cuts up them ( as well as bruises on the side where he fell) and he could even see his track marks from where he shot up going all the way up his arm. They were ugly little marks, red and irritated. Finally there was the damage to his face. He had a bruise along his jaw and on his cheek down that went around his eye. There was a smallish cut that looked old on his other cheek bone and a graze that went on the side of his face and just below his eye.

"Eveska!" Harry said harshly and pointed his wand at himself. Nothing happened.

"Eveska!" he said again getting angry, why wasn't it working? The glamour should have come back by now...

"EVESKA!" he shouted and then threw him wand in the corned and violently punched the nearest cubical door. He took some deep breaths and tried to relax a little.

He slowly turned around and just stared into the mirror. He had calmed down now. A part of himself was even smiling at the damage he had done, the fact that no one could hurt him as much as he could hurt himself gave him comfort... But even so, he thought to himself, he should try and cover some of it up.

He picked up the bag he had brought with him and silently and calmly started to bandage up his wounds and track marks and applying cream to some sore areas. Like he did last summer he piled on a few t shirts under his school shirt and wore an extra pair of tracksuit bottoms under neither his usual black ones he wore for school. This bulked him out a bit but he still looked skinny and ill. He bandaged up his grazed and bruised hands to cover the damage. He couldn't do anything about his face except wear a baseball cap.

After inspecting his body he realised just how much pain he was in. The bruises hurt at the slightest touch and he knew he couldn't take anymore pills without overdosing...

Harry looked at the half empty bottle of Vicodin. What if he did just overdose?

However his thoughts were quickly interrupted when there was a banging at the door. Harry quickly packed everything he had out back into the bag and opened the door to see a worried looking Ron.

"Harry mate-"

"Got to go" said Harry emotionlessly and walked past him and back down the stairs.

Xxxxxx

Harry was currently waiting in professor McGonagall's office. He had being trying to avoid her all day but she finally caught him in the astronomy tower after hours of looking, she had even cancelled one of her classes.

She finally entered and sat down behind her desk and looked at Harry.

She sighed but quickly composed herself and started speaking.

"Mr Potter, I hope you realise that after yesterday's performance I have to suspend you" she said sternly yet with a hint of sadness

It took Harry a while to figure out that she was talking about the whole Snape thing and calling him the C word, in all honesty he had completely forgotten about it. She looked at him expecting him to say something but when he didn't she continued.

"Potter, we have taken points, given detentions and had several meetings about your behaviour yet you just carry on!" she started crossly "That was completely unacceptable behaviour yesterday. You are to write an apology to Professor Snape as well as your suspension, which will be 2 weeks long"

"So I'll be going back to the Dursleys then?" asked Harry hopefully. He could spend a whole 2 weeks with Davy and the gang, he thought to himself excitedly.

"No Potter, we have decided to make other arrangements so you will actually benefit from this" she said and Harry became wary. "Instead you will spend your suspension in Hogwarts catching up in isolation"

Harry raised his eyebrows at this and inwardly curses.

"Not literally in isolation Potter" she said exasperated "You will still eat with everyone else for dinner and sleep in the dormitories but you will not be attending any of your lessons. Instead teachers will send work over to you where you will complete it by yourself in your own classroom. If you do not complete the required amount of work then you will be in _real _isolation until you get it done. This is your last warning"

'Great...' Harry thought to himself.

"Now there is another matter to discus before you go" started professor McGonagall in a kinder voice. "Professor Moody has pointed out that you have been wearing glamour's. Why is this Mr Potter?"

Harry just shrugged

"He and your friends are under the impression that you have been wearing them for a while now" she stated and Harry just ignored her and she sighed. "No one can help you Potter unless you tell us what's wrong. I also know that you have missed your last two appointments with Healer Johnson, why is that?"

"Theres nothing wrong with me" he said simply

"Really Potter? If your student started missing classes, getting in fights and turning up looking like they've fallen down 5 flights of stairs would you believe there was nothing wrong?"

Harry said nothing

"I'm going to have to tell professor Dumbledore about this. You're also going to have to have a full medical examination" started McGonagall walking over to her office door and opening it. Madam Pomfrey suddenly appeared at the door and was waiting to take him up to the hospital wing.

"No I don't" said Harry defiantly. A medical examination would reveal way too much and right now he would rather die than anyone find out about his little addiction and tried to stop him.

"Excuse me Potter?" asked McGonagall sternly

"I don't want a medical examination. It's just a few cuts and bruises" he said simply

"Don't be ridiculous Mr Potter, you need treatment straight away" said Madam Pomfrey

"Actually, as I'm 16 I'm now medically responsible for myself, it's my choice whether I get treated or not" Harry said quickly remembering what Lucy had told him, he really hoped that it was the same in the wizarding world

McGonagall and Pomfrey looked at each other, apparently it was true.

"Mr Potter, you are underweight, ill and have some serious bruises. If you don't get any treatment then you could just get worse..."

Harry shrugged "My choice"

They spent the next 10 minutes trying to talk him round before giving up.

"Your suspension will start on Monday, and you have an appointment with Healer Johnson on again on Thursday and I expect you to attend. You may go now" professor McGonagall said curtly.

They watched Harry leave the office not saying a word and then they sat in silence for a minute.

"What do you think?" asked Professor McGonagall eventually

"I believe that Professor Snape's assumption is correct" said Madam Pomfrey sadly "But unfortunately we can't do anything about it yet"

"But surely Potters safety and well being is more important than some rules and technicalities" said McGonagall. When she became a teacher she promised herself that she would look out for all the students that passed through her classroom.

Madam Pomfrey shaked her head and sighed "I agree with you but it doesn't make a difference. There was one women, who was a healer, that tied her daughter to her bed so she couldn't get drugs and the mother got sent to Azkaban for a year for 'false imprisonment'"

McGonagall raised her eyebrows

"It wouldn't help anyway; the person has to want to change themselves"

"And this healer Johnson can help?" asked McGonagall

"Yes, either she helps him admit he has a few problems and we go from there or as a qualified mind healer she declares him a danger to himself and then we can act" said Madam Pomfrey "And I really hope it doesn't come to that"

Professor McGonagall silently agreed.

Xxxxxx

It was now official. Harry Potter had finally cracked. Students watched him warily wherever he went. He looked a complete mess. Suddenly all the strange things he had been doing the last few weeks weren't funny anymore, it was sad and kind of scary for the younger years. He looked like a zombie and acted like one half the time too, the other half of the time he was aggressive and moody.

He spoke to nobody. Even Ella who was starting to annoy him as much as Ron and Hermione did. Even the Slytherins stopped bothering him as much but even when they did Harry was either too high to here or just didn't care. He needed to escape again, see the people that knew how it felt.

That's how he found himself one night on his own on the night bus travelling to Surrey to see Davy. He looked out of the window where everything was flying past, thinking once again about falling from the building in Westhill estate. He finally realised what that second emotion was as he fell. It was hope.

Xxxxxx

**AN: **How do we like where this is going? Is this going good or bad?

Please review with feedback and any suggestions :)

** Liveadream: **Thanks, I'm glad you like it :)

** Madd girl: **Thank you lol :) I do like an angry Harry...

** Faerex: **Thanks, I'm glad you enjoy it :)

** Inoeth: **Thank you :) Haha I always wished Harry would call Snape that in the books, it would have been quite funny

** Nebulous Narwhal: **Thanks lol, I think I would have called Snape that if I ever met him. Don't worry though, I will never make Harry all whiny and pathetic, I want him to be perceived as a stronger character than in the books.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language, a bit of violence

**A/N: **Thank you for all of the great reviews I've been getting :) And I can't believe it but I now have 104 alerts! This is my first fan fiction and I can't believe it's done so well :D

Okay, this chapter is shorter than usual, but it's not because I've been lazy, it's because it fits in better with what's happening. Enjoy...

**Chapter Sixteen **

Harry and Davy were currently sitting down in the abandoned building in West hill estate. He had practically run here after the day he had had, being suspended, glamour's failing and everyone thinking he was crazy (nothing new there). He had found Davy sitting here on the floor in the dark, unusually sober, and had he been shocked to see Harry back so soon after the building incident.

"You look fucked up mate, I bet Lucy would believe you fell off a building now" he stated looking over Harry lighting up a cigarette. Davy looked slightly paler than usual, slightly more worn down.

"Yeah well, I'm a lucky guy" replied Harry sarcastically, but still smiled. Davy would always be his escape. "By the way what ever happened to Steve?"

Davy shrugged "No idea, Liam said he was okay though I think..."

Harry looked around the run down room and saw a fairly big rucksack in the corner. He also noticed that the place seemed more lived in than usual.

"Are you living here?" asked Harry frowning

"Yeah, for a while anyway" he said slowly as though considering something

"Since when? I thought you were staying at Wills" Harry said looking around. It was coming to the end of November now and even with the make shift fire it was still pretty cold.

"Moved in a day or two ago. Me and Will got into a bit of an argument again, thought it would be best that I leave..." he said absently

"What did you argue about?" asked Harry

"Stuff" he said flippantly but then carried on "He doesn't like the whole smack thing... He said that if I want to do it myself then that's fine, I'm only damaging myself" he added the last bit rolling his eyes. "But by giving it to other people, then I'm damaging them and... that's not fair" he said looking straight at Harry to see his reaction.

'So Will did see us take it' Harry thought to himself

"People chose what they take" said Harry emotionlessly "You didn't force anyone to take anything"

Davy smiled slightly "Yeah, that's exactly what I said"

"Anyway, how long are you staying here?" asked Harry

"Dunno yet" he said "Fuck I hate this place; it's not so bad when you're pissed with some mates but..."

"Yeah I get what you mean"

"Anyway" said Davy changing the subject, but failing to sound any happier, "How's your fancy school treating ya?"

They got into a conversation about everything that was happening recently like Davy been evicted, Harry's teachers pissing him off and him falling off a building.

Harry didn't know whether it was because Davy was down on his luck or whether it was because he was comfortable with Harry, but he started sharing more of his past with Harry. Like how his dad would get angry sometimes with him and hit him and how he never really knew his mum.

"I never really liked my family" he had said in an empty voice

"I know, me too" Harry had agreed sadly.

At that point they had both decided to get high instead off carrying on the depressing conversation they were having. They both shot up and relaxed back into blackness. If only it could be like this forever.

Xxxxxx

It was now mid December and Harry's 2 week 'suspension period' was up. During this time he had written an 'apology' to Snape which consisted of a piece of paper saying "Go fuck yourself" on it, he had done a fair amount of work to catch up and he had been attending all of his sessions with healer Johnson in which he would ignore all the questions she asked and fall asleep. The professors had hoped that this period of time would help him relax a bit and get back on track and the extra sessions with Healer Johnson might help him confide in her more, yet it hasn't helped. Healer Johnson has confirmed their suspicions about the drug taking and this was why Madam Pomfrey, Healer Johnson, professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall were having a meeting to discuss what they have to do next.

"What is the next course of action?" asked McGonagall grimly "We cannot allow a student to be damaging himself like this in the school". It didn't help that they had no idea if he actually was taking drugs or not and if so how he was even getting them, they had checked his post and it didn't contain anything.

"Well when someone who is over between the age of 16 and 18 and is taking drugs it gets complicated. We don't know how serious it is and we don't want to rush into anything, it could just cause more damage. Also legally we can't make him do anything medical without a good reason" said the healer

"So then what do we do?" asked Professor McGonagall heatedly, she felt as though they were going around in circles.

"Well, as I said before the only way for us to be able to make him go for drug withdrawal treatment is to declare him a danger to himself therefore someone else would be in charge of his medical well being"

"And would I be correct in saying, that only you have the power to declare him a danger to himself?" said the headmaster with a hint of sadness.

"Correct. But as he has said nothing to make me think he is a danger to himself, I can't do anything, if I tried to it would just be appealed and stopped. So this is the hard part; in this situation the only way to get him declared a danger to himself would be if there was proof he was taking a serious amount of drugs that could lead to death"

The other two women looked slightly confused but Dumbledore thought he knew where this was going.

"So we make him take a drug test" said Professor McGonagall

"We can't make him take a drug test in a school unless he's declared a danger to himself" said the Healer with a humourless smile

"But that's ridiculous!" said Madam Pomfrey

"I believe the term is a 'catch 22'" said Dumbledore quietly

"Indeed" said Healer Johnson grimly "I've worked with lots of kids on drugs and I know that if he is taking any narcotics the last thing you want to do is go down this route, but I've seen people older and more experienced than him accidently overdose and die. The quicker we intervene the better"

"So this is a matter of urgency?" asked the headmaster

"Yes, I think so" said the healer

"Then I believe we will have to conduct a full search of the Gryffindor tower and Mr Potter's belongings"

Xxxxxx

The whole of the Gryffindor tower was searched the next day for, what the students were told, objects belonging to the dark arts. Ironically enough they had found some minor dark objects but they had found no drugs. Which lead them back to square one again.

Harry wasn't stupid. He knew it wouldn't be long until they started searching trunks so had be hiding his drugs in the room of requirement for ages now. Harry was feeling strangely isolated in Hogwarts now. He had no one to talk to and all of his friends were either staying well away or being extremely annoying. The only person he had to talk to was Davy over the phone. He was still living rough but he would soon have a place to go, in about a week he was going to live with his Uncle who lived on the other side of the estate and was spending Christmas with them. Harry didn't even want to think about what he was going to do at Christmas, hopefully wherever he was going he would be able to sneak off and see Davy and the rest of the gang.

He didn't just want to see them. He needed to see them. He was breaking and he knew it.

Xxxxxx

**11am**

"Hi Harry" came a familiar voice from the doorway.

Harry turned around from the window of the old classroom he was sitting in and saw Ron looking fairly apprehensive.

"Hi" said Harry turning back around. He was sitting on a window seat smoking. He may hate Hogwarts right now but at this time of the year, with all the snow, it was the most amazing and calming sight you could see.

It was now exactly a week from Christmas and most people were packing ready to leave tomorrow. Hogwarts was already decorated with massive trees and tinsel decorated every hall way.

Ron came closer towards Harry and the window.

"You think Gawp is still in there?" asked Ron randomly, pointing towards the forest.

Harry laughed tiredly "Let's hope not" and Ron sat opposite him on the window seat.

"Then again" Harry continued "Gawp probably wasn't the worst thing we've come across in there" he said thinking of the spiders

Ron shivered.

"You can say that again"

They sat for a few minutes in comfortable silence, something Harry wasn't sure that could happen lately what with everything that had been going on.

"You know mate..." started Ron out of the silence. He didn't look at Harry but continued to look out of the window "I know things have been weird recently... but we'll always be here for you. Me and Ginny are leaving tomorrow to head back home, if you needed anything or you wanted to talk... about anything, just come to us okay?"

Harry turned his head towards Ron who was now facing him. Harry only smiled slightly but it was genuine.

"Yeah, okay" Harry replied.

Ron gave a small smile too "Okay, well I've got to finish packing. I'll see you later"

He watched Ron leave and stared at the door for many minutes afterwards. 'That was nice' he thought to himself...

He lit up a cigarette and left the classroom.

Harry had found himself walking along not really going anywhere in particular when he turned a corner and walked straight into someone. That someone just happened to be Lucius Malfoy. He fixed his robes and sneered at Harry who was still trying to get over the shock.

Lucius Malfoy had been fighting at the ministry last year and had tried very hard to kill Harry and the rest of the light side. But unlike the other death eaters who got arrested, Lucius had managed to escape and worm his way out of trouble, even with the several witnesses who saw him there. That was another thing that annoyed Harry to the point of madness, Sirius had been falsely sentenced to 12 years in Azkaban with no evidence yet scum like Malfoy commit crimes with strong evidence and he doesn't even have to leave his job, let alone go to prison. It hadn't helped that all the ministry aura's that were there couldn't testify as they could get in trouble for being a part of the order.

"Potter" he said coldly "Walking around the castle all by yourself and unprotected... that's brave of you" he said stepping closer to Harry with his wand out.

Harry stood his ground and stared Lucius down (something he was becoming better at of late). He looked coldly at Lucius.

"You on an errand for Voldemort? Or did you just come all the way over to Hogwarts by yourself to give me that enlightening speech?" asked Harry emotionlessly with a slight slur which had become a regular now.

Lucius sneered again and looked up and down Harry. Draco had been right he thought to himself, Potter looked a complete mess... They suspected it was because of Blacks death.

"_I'm_ here for ministry business that certainly doesn't involve you. Not that there will be much of a ministry left soon" he smirked and continued "especially if this is supposed to be their _saviour_" he said looking pointedly up and down at harry.

Harry still stood his ground, even though he had just realised that he doesn't have his wand on him and he was in a deserted corridor with a death eater. If only he had something else he could use as a weapon...

Lucius lowered his wand a little

"What's the matter Potter, do you miss the mutt? It's a shame that-"

He was cut off when Harry quickly pulled something out of his pocket and stabbed Lucius with it just below his collar bone. The almost-3-inch needle was thumped into his skin and hit straight into a muscle.

As Lucius brought his hand to the needle in pain to pull it out, Harry walked off quickly into the nearest passageway. He kept up a fast pace and with satisfaction looked back at the expression on Lucius's face when he stabbed him. Next time he should use a knife, he thought to himself bitterly.

Once he put a good distance between him and Lucius, he sank down to the floor on the end of an empty corridor that held a small window. He was just trying to get his head around what had just happened when his phone rang. Harry looked down at the caller ID and saw it was Davy.

"Hey, what's up?" asked Harry as though nothing had just happened

"Nothing much..." said Davy. He was sounding a bit off to Harry...

"You sure?" asked Harry with a frown

"Yeah, yeah... I'm sure. Anyway what about you? Are the teachers still going on about the whole drugs thing?" asked Davy distractedly. Harry had told him that they suspect some students had been taking drugs.

"No, but I did just stab someone with a needle... so it's probably going to come up again" said Harry thoughtfully.

"How did that happen?" asked Davy with mild surprise

"Remember those people I was talking about? The ones that attacked me and some other kids from school?" asked Harry.

"Yeah... you said some of them were like police men or something?" said Davy trying to remember. Harry had told Davy some very edited muggle versions of what had happened in this last year or so with Voldemort. Davy didn't know the full extent; just that some people didn't like him and his family, with some of them being in high places, like the equivalent to the police etc. Davy was usually too high to question anything and he didn't want to interfere with Harry's life.

"Yeah, kind of like police men... Well one of them was winding me up and tried to threaten me and I only had my needle on me, so..."

"You stabbed a cop with a needle?" asked Davy with a hint of humour in his voice

"He wasn't a cop" said Harry rolling his eyes "and he started it!"

Davy laughed slightly.

"So all your teachers are looking for people taking drugs and you decide to go and stab a copper with a needle that has smack in it and your figure prints all over it?" asked Davy laughing a bit more, but it was still a slightly empty laugh

"That's reckless even for me..."

"I already told you, he wasn't a cop, he just knows a few... Anyway, it's not reckless, I have another needle" said Harry unconcerned. He would just have to be even more careful now.

"Hmm" said Davy going quiet again

"Anyway, how's your uncles?" asked Harry

"It's okay... Do you know when you can sneak out next? It's getting as boring as hell over here" he asked

Harry smiled "Soon hopefully" He had noticed the teachers keeping an eye on him recently; he was worried that they might find out about his little visits out.

"Okay then" he said "text me when you can"

"Kay, bye" replied Harry.

He put his phone in his pocket and headed out towards the room of requirement to get a new needle and some smack as he felt like he needed a slight pick me up after the whole Lucius thing.

After he retrieved his 'equipment' he went into the nearest bathroom, which was a small old one that hadn't been re done yet like the other ones in the dormitories. He locked the main door of the bathroom, by physical means instead of magical as he still didn't have his wand.

Instead of going in one of the disgusting cubicles he went towards the furthest wall from the door. He got out his needle and began boiling the brown powder over a lighter and once it had done he got his new needle and sucked up the liquid. While he waited for it to cool he pulled up his sleeve and tied a belt around his arm and lightly flicked it to bring the veins closer to the surface.

He slowly picked up the needle waiting a little longer for it to cool down, when suddenly, he was interrupted. He saw the bathrooms door handle quickly go down and open.

Of course the old door lock hadn't remotely worked.

In came Snape staring at Harry holding a needle about an inch away from his arm ready to inject. They both completely froze and stared at each other.

Xxxxxx

**AN: **Another cliff hanger :/ but it will be worth it. The next chapter will probably be a long one after everything that has happened here...

Please review and tell me how I'm doing :)

**Reviewer comments**

** Nebulous Narwhal: **Thank you :) I do love the break down fics as well lol, poor Harry, but I'm glad you've noticed some of the humour I've tried to include. You actually reminded me about Voldemort and his crew, that's why I decided to include Lucius in today's story; I always wanted to stab Lucius ;)

** Ex Mentis:** Thanks :) it just sort of matched up with his drug taking problems and his loss of sirius

** Madd girl: **Thank you :) I agree that Hogwarts are quite oblivious to drug problems as it is quite a sheltered school.

** Faerex: **Thank you :) Yes I will get some more emotional conversations in with the others so it proves to him that they do all love him

** AnythingTwilightMakesMeHappy: **Thank you lol, I'm glad you find it realistic :)

** MusicxButterflyX: **Haha lol thank you :) I'm glad you're enjoying it so much

** Lycus: **Hermione will obviously have an important role with Harry but I think some of it is a little out of her league and she'll need some help. She'll definitely be shocked lol


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language, a bit of violence

**A/N: **Thank you for all the amazing reviews! I've now got over 100 :) Enjoy the story...

**Hooked**

**Chapter Seventeen **

There was complete silence. It took Snape a few seconds to re-group himself and pull the shocked expression off of his face. Meanwhile on the surface Harry looked just slightly tense but on the inside he was completely paralysed with panic. This could be the end of everything he had had going this year...

"Potter, put the needle down" Snape said in a fairly cold and calm voice with his wand in his hand but not raised. He didn't take his eyes of Harry and was positioned to act quickly if Harry tried something.

Harry knew this but still did nothing. There had to be another way, he thought to himself, there had already been lots of near misses this year but he had always managed to get himself out of them

"Potter, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way, which I don't suggest" said Snape dangerously

He had no choice but to do what he said. Harry didn't even have a wand and he couldn't physically attack Snape without getting hexed first by him. Harry angrily threw the needle into the corner of the room. He stood up and loosened the belt that was around his arm and threw that to the floor too. He glared at Snape, who walked quickly across the room and grabbed him tightly around his arm and dragged him out of the bathroom. Harry thought about punching him and legging it but-

"Potter, you even think about running and I'll take you up to the hospital wing in a full body bind"

He couldn't risk that... He was starting to feel numb again, maybe it was adrenalin or maybe it was because even though he didn't get his usual high he had had quite a lot of coke this morning...

It took a while for Harry to realise that Snape had been talking to him the whole time they'd been walking

"It seems that we have underestimated you, Potter. I don't think we've ever had a student like _this_before" he said in what seemed a snide tone but was lacking its usual sting. Snape was still holding Harry's upper arm tightly and all the students in the corridors they passed stopped to look at them. Instead of giving them his usual charming retaliation he just ignored them and carried on trying to think of a way of out of this. They would not beat him.

Before he knew it they were had entered the hospital wing quickly where Madam Pomfrey was looking up at Snape and Harry with a bewildered face.

"What's going on Professor?" asked Madam Pomfrey looking disapprovingly at Snape's firm grip on Harry's arm

"I think its best you get Professor McGonagall and Healer Johnson in first" said Snape pointedly and Madam Pomfrey looked down at where Harry's sleeve was still rolled up at all the track marks going up and down Harry's arm.

"Okay, I'll need to check him over now, could you fetch Professor McGonagall?" said Madam Pomfrey quickly walking over towards Harry however Snape dragged Harry backwards slightly

"I think its best that he is supervised or at least put in a safe place for the time being" said Snape in an unreadable tone

"Yes" said Madam Pomfrey looking flustered "The other private rooms are full but he can stay in my office for now and then I'll go connect Healer Johnson" she said leading them into the office.

Snape dragged Harry in while Madam Pomfrey locked the window and removed the Floo powder from the fireplace and locked the doors of the draws and cupboards.

"Do not attempt anything foolish Potter; you're in enough trouble as it is" said Snape and both the adults left the room quickly to find 'the people trying to help him'.

Harry was starting to panic again. He was trapped in a room and in about 5 minutes the professors would come in and take away everything... It was during this thought Harry saw a letter opener of all things lying slightly beneath a small pile of paper. 'Idiots' he thought to himself 'how easy it would be just to end it all right now? Leaving him in a room with a sharp object like that... It's like they're asking for it...'

Harry picked up the letter opener and stared at the sharp blade, 'it would definitely do the job' a voice in his head said 'just a little bit of pain followed by a long period of peace... Kind of like shooting up'

He stared the tip of the opener where the point was reflecting light from the window.

He didn't want to die. He lowered the letter opener. He just wanted to be himself, with Davy and the gang again back in Westhill, where they were all happy and constantly laughing, talking and enjoying their lives. He wanted to be back with the gang on those summer nights, dancing drunk in the park around the old, makeshift fires in dark clear nights and then collapsing looking up at the stars; back to when they would sit on the abandoned buildings too high to go to sleep and watch the sun come up on the rough estate. These memories were only a few months old yet they feel like a lifetime ago, just like the very few memories of Sirius he had left...

Harry gripped the knife-like object and looked around the room. There had to be a way out. He looked at the clock, 12.33. As it was lunchtime and the professors would be in the great hall, he probably had around 3 minutes to get out. He noticed that Madam Pomfrey had only locked the doors and Windows magically, while the cupboards and draws could be unlocked the old fashioned way. He looked over at the cupboards; the ones in the corner of the room were clearly for medical supplies and the filing cabinet opposite contained the student's medical records (he had learnt that much from experience). The only option left was the desk. He didn't know if there would be anything of value in there though he had seen her put a wand away in there once, it was the option he had left.

He quickly walked over to the desk and started stabbing above the lock on the top draw with the letter opener. He weakened the lock and then shoved the edge of the opener in-between the side of the draw and the desk and hit it down so the draw was opened roughly. He looked inside the draw and only found a few bits of parchment, quills and ink. He pulled the rest of the draw out violently and went on to the one underneath and again found nothing. He was desperately running out of time and so far the only thing he could do is hit his professors over the head with bits of broken draws if they came back now.

He moved on to the bottom draw which was the largest. This was a lot more difficult to open and he repeatedly and hurriedly stabbed, kicked and punched the draw until it finally opened and his hands were starting to bleed again. He quickly shuffled through the draws objects until he finally found something. Spare Floo powder. It was times like this when he was actually grateful that he was a wizard.

Xxxxxx

It had taken about 5 minutes for Harry to Floo to the leaky cauldron and flag for the night bus. It was so ridiculous he had to laugh. He had Flooed straight into the tinsel filled Leaky cauldron with his hood up and walked quickly out of the pub undetected. He then got onto the night bus (which was also brightly decorated with Christmas ornaments) at the very front ducking slightly behind the small wall at the side of the door so in case anything happened he could make a quick exit. He then went on to snort some coke he had left in his pockets on the ride to try and calm himself down.

The night bus dropped him off at the usual place near the library and Harry broke off into a run through the estate that was covered in crispy white snow. He didn't really know where he was running to until he found himself outside the old abandoned building in Westhill. The building looked oddly clean in the gleaming white snow and in the bright but cold sunlight. He walked through the shattered door and walked a few steps in and slowly lowered himself to the ground and stared blankly ahead.

After a few minutes Harry shivered, it was really cold even inside the building. He could see his own breath clearly. He slowly started to think about what he was going to do next. He had no wand, hardly any money or drugs and nowhere to go. A lot of people would be panicking in his situation, yet he felt so calm, like he was in a bubble. He could start a life here. He could take as many drugs as he liked, he could get a job with Davy and they could see each other whenever they liked, as well as summer, Lucy and maybe Will once he comes around. He wouldn't have to sneak around; he wouldn't have to worry about dark lords, death eaters, and stupid interfering old-

His thoughts were suddenly cut off when he heard a noise come from another part of them building. Harry tensed and gripped the letter opener, his only weapon. He carefully walked (still stumbling a bit from the coke and alcohol from earlier) and found the room where the noise was coming from. He positioned himself outside the door then quickly flung it open to reveal a shocked looking Davy sitting on a single mattress on the floor.

They looked at each other in bewildered then Davy smiled through the dimly lit room.

"You ever heard of greeting someone with a simple hello" he asked in a very slurred voice. The room was quite dark as the windows had been boarded up and there were things scattered all over the floor.

"Wouldn't have been as effective" smiled Harry also while shutting the door and joining him on the mattress. Davy sounded slightly... odd to Harry, but right now he didn't care about any of that: where he was or what was happening. He was just so glad he was back with Davy again.

"Always making a scene Harry" he said in a mock disapproving voice

"Coming of the guy that couldn't even go to Tesco's without getting arrested. I mean, who gets drunk and decides to ride a bicycle around a super market"

"I was merely giving it a test drive; they didn't need to be so rude about it"

"You crashed into the alcohol stands" said Harry laughing

"Yeah, would have been great if it wasn't for all that glass"

"And without the yelling manager, 3 security officers and 4 policemen..."

"I think they over reacted a bit" said Davy leaning back against the wall still smiling.

They continued talking for almost an hour as though they were just picking up a conversation from a minute ago. They didn't bother asking questions about why they were here and all that, they just talked while being completely off their heads. They were both already tired and the alcohol pushed them over into a light sleep.

Xxxxxx

Harry was woken up by two things. Firstly the coldness of the room. Secondly was the moving figure he felt up against him. He got up slightly and opened his eyes to see that he had fallen asleep leaning slightly against Davy who was now clumsily trying to use his lighter to boil a brownish liquid in a tea spoon. Harry checked his watch which said 15.53. He could tell that it was already pretty much pitch black outside, as it was winter and the room was lit up slightly with a few candles. He turned back to a clearly still drunk Davy who had now managed to boil the liquid.

He turned to look a Harry

"You's want some?" he asked slightly dazed

"Yeah, haven't scored in a while" said Harry, who was a little more sober.

When Davy had finally finished preparing it, he leant Harry a needle and they both shot up. They both sank back into the high, the amazing feeling of not caring what's happening or going on in life. They spent around half an hour in comfortable silence completely out of it until Davy broke it.

"Do you ever remember your parents?" Davy asked suddenly in a light but weak voice

Harry lifted his head away from the wall slightly and opened his eyes blearily. The candles had gone out but he looked at the shape he knew was Davy's head

"Not really" he said coming out of his high a bit "I sometimes remember their voices" he said remembering what he heard when the dementers came near him. He shivered remembering how cold this room was and wrapped himself up in his jacket.

"Weird init? How shit turns out... How some of us are left with crazy, uncaring fuckers for family and others left with none at all" Davy said slurred and tiredly

Harry tried to look at him through the darkness wondering what he was babbling on about. He didn't seem upset; in fact he could tell he was smiling slightly. He could see his breath in the air. Harry, getting tired of sitting in complete darkness went through some of the boxes at the side of the room where he knew was an old camping lamp run on batteries. But before he turned the lamp on he listened to what Davy was saying...

"Everything you go through. _And then_" he started "years later, you're left looking back on life realising how different things could have been. How different _everything_ could have been"

Harry froze and carried on staring at Davy, that bit had actually made sense to him. How different his life could have been... If he hadn't been so fucking stupid running off to the ministry, if he hadn't doomed his own parents with that prophecy...

Harry was starting to understand the message in Davy's half a-sleep stoned ramblings. By the looks of it he couldn't even keep his up properly.

Davy continued "It could have just been one action in your life, and you may not even realise it yet, and it would have changed everything"

Harry switched on the light and stared at Davy properly for the first time since he had gotten here. He looked... ill. He was pale, thin and his eyes had rings around them. His eyes were currently closed and he was leaning weakly against the wall. Harry was pulled out of his thoughts when Davy laughed softly

"I sound like I'm about to pull a fucking bible out don't I?" he said sounding like he was half asleep.

While noticing how weak Davy was he also noticed the contents of the room, a back pack, water bottles, food wrappers...

"I thought you were living with your uncle for Christmas?" asked Harry getting worried. Davy looked really bad... How much had he had? He thought to himself looking around the room at all the empty bottles and a few needles at the side.

Davy gave another laugh "Turns out place is too full for me, what with them just having a baby and all..."

Harry got up from the box he was sitting on and went over next to Davy to get a closer look at him. He was moving his head slightly from side to side. Harry held his head still between his hands and faced him. He was sweating.

"Davy?" he said trying to get his attention. 'shit, shit, shit' he kept thinking over and over to himself.

Davy finally managed to open his eyes slightly. Harry could see they were blood shot and very tired looking.

"Yess, Harry?" he asked dazed. He was completely unfocused and couldn't even look straight. However Harry's high had completely gone. He didn't know what to say or do, was he overdosing? Harry only said the first thing that came to his mind.

"What would you have changed?" asked Harry quietly

"I wouldn't have let him win" he said slowly using up the last of his energy.

He collapsed back into Harry's chest unconscious.

"Davy? DAVY?" Harry said shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. He just laid there completely still, looking quite happy and peaceful almost like he was sleeping.

"DAVY! Shit" he shouted and shakily got out Davy's mobile from his pocket and called for an ambulance. He waited in the old building with Davy in his arms trying to get him to wake up.

Xxxxxx

Harry was sitting in the hospital's emergency waiting room, staring into space with glassy eyes. It was busy because it was a Friday night. Christmas decorations littered the room with a medium sized tree in the corner and tinsel was everywhere. In the background the radio was playing Christmas carols, right now being silent night. Harry had never had liked Christmas.

He and Davy had been in the ambulance for only 3 minutes when his heart first stopped. They managed to resuscitate him by the time they got to the hospital but there were complications. They tried giving him 3 adrenaline shots to counteract with the heroin but with the amount of alcohol in his system and the mild case of pneumonia he had developed, it hadn't worked.

Davy had been pronounced dead at 6.52pm.

This is how Harry found himself sitting in the busy waiting room completely lost with Davy's rucksack containing all of his possessions in the seat next to him.

It was all so sudden Harry had no idea what he was supposed to think. That's why he had just stared off into the waiting room trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. He slipped into numbness as he watched all the different people go passed him. The busy nurses and doctors, the little children running around dancing to the peaceful Christmas carol music, the drunk guy hand cuffed to the chair at the front guarded by two policemen. It was like time seemed to slow and go into nothingness. Nothing mattered in the world and nothing else seemed to be going on outside this waiting room.

He had been sat there for hours when some emotion started to kick in. He looked at the small rucksack containing all of Davy's belongings. No one gave a fuck about him, harry thought to himself, just like me. The first thing Harry thought of was Davy's house. There were no pictures of him or his family anywhere just like at the Dursleys with Harry. Then he thought about Davy's last words "I wouldn't have let him win". He was talking about his father of course. How didn't Harry see it? Both him and Harry had grown up it shit homes with violent families, how didn't he notice the signs?

Then the next image in Harry's mind was Davy lying in the hospital bed after he was pronounced dead. He looked small in his already oversized dark blue hoodie and in the large hospital bed. But most of all he looked rested, as though he had just relaxed into well needed sleep. It was like he had found peace in death. And that killed Harry inside. Davy didn't deserve this. He wanted to kill his father for doing this to him, kicking him out into the streets with nothing. Why was it always the innocent people? He had seen it so many times now with Voldemort, Siriu-

"It wasn't your fault"

Harry quickly turned to the person sitting next to him. Lucy was looking at him with tears in her eyes, but she seemed relatively calm. Harry now noticed that he had tears down his face. Of course she would know, she was training to be a nurse after all...

Lucy continued when he didn't reply

"Davy has been different for a while now, he's never been truly happy" she said softly "I think we all saw that. It started before you even met him; he got this unexplainable need to damage himself as much as he could"

Harry continued staring ahead trying to gain control of his emotions.

"We all tried to help him. But some people just don't want to be helped. I saw it with my brother and I saw it in Davy (who was practically my adopted brother). And right now, I'm seeing it in you"

Harry turned to look at her with the same emotionless face he'd been carrying for the last few months. The only difference was eyes, filled with tears and sadness.

"I can't make you stop taking heroin. I can only show you what it does to the people around you" she said sadly and got up out of her chair. She was about to leave when she turned back around to Harry

"Call me if you need anything"

And then she was gone.

He turned to the rucksack next to him and opened it. Most of it was just clothes and food but he eventually he came across a small folder. He opened it and found some pictures, around 20.

There were one with his mother when they were much younger and then there were a few of him growing up with friends like him and Will when they were around 9 outside the Westhill local shops. Then there were some newer ones of him and the gang in the park from last summer. There was one of the whole gang together on the swings. Davy in the middle with his arms round Harry and Lucy.

He quickly turned away from the photo as it became too painful. Just like Sirius, Davy had gone. Harry turned back to the bag and carried on looking through it until eventually he found a bottle. He pulled his hand out and found it was a bottle of Vicodin. 'Of course he did, it was Davy' he said to himself. 'Would it really be so bad just to end it?' he wondered 'Davy looked so peaceful'. It's not as though he had anything left here...

Xxxxxx

A/N:I know that you guys probably hate me for that! :(

Before you leave a load of hate comment let me give you my reasons to why I killed Davy off:

Firstly, this is the kick Harry needs to stop taking drugs, nothing else was working and for him to make such a big decision something drastic would have had to happen. Like, it took a death for Harry to start taking heroin and a death to make him stop. Secondly, Harry and Davy were best mates, if Harry tried to quit by himself then Davy would eventually bring him down, Davy was too far gone to quit himself. I could have made them stop being friends but I didn't like the idea of that. Lastly I wanted this story to be realistic, and realistically no one can take that amount of drugs and be okay.

Just so you guys know I have put a lot of thought into Davy's death. It would be interesting to know if anyone saw Davy's death coming or was it a total surprise? I had actually been planning to kill him off from about chapter 6... :(

This had probably been the hardest chapter I've had to write...

Please review and tell me if you liked this chapter?

Reviewer comments

SnapeOrGregorovitch:Haha lol

.Life:Thank you :) Glad you enjoyed it, I couldn't have thought of a better person than Snape to find him shooting up lol

THE ULIMATE POTTER HEAD:Thanks lol and cool name :)

liveadream:Thank you :) I hurried as much as I could, this was probably the hardest chapter I've had to write

Inoeth:Thank you I'm glad you liked the teachers bit too because it's a real problem trying to get kids of drugs in real life due to all these rules and laws. Did you perhaps see Davy's death coming?

Cascol3:I agree :) I've always wanted to stab him myself

misscutestuff:Thanks, glad you liked it :) Do you still like it after Davy's death though :/

MusicxButterflyX:Thank you :) Do you still like it now though? :/

Moon-Princess-Serena1993:Thank you :) I'm glad you like it

Madd girl:Yep, Harry's busted lol. I'm glad you're enjoying it :)

Nebulous Narwhal:Haha yes, there will probably be lots of kicking and screaming in the next few days for Harry. And I'm glad you liked the whole stabbing Lucius incident, the prick deserved it and I agree that too many fanfics bash Ron all the time, realistically he was a good friend in the books. Did you perhaps see Davy's death coming? You were the one of the only people who pointed out something was suspicious. Thanks for the great review!

Lauraw18:I'm glad you liked it :)

AnythingTwilightMakesMeHappy:I updated fairly soon! This was a really hard chapter to write, I hope you liked it :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Thank you for all the great reviews :) Sorry it's taken so long to update, it's because I kind of got a bit of writers block and I've been really busy at college :/ Anyway, enjoy the story...

**Chapter Eighteen **

It was one of those sink or swim moments. Carry on or admit defeat. Truthly Harry had been fighting his whole life, everything from fighting with Dudley and his gang at the Dursleys to battling the most powerful dark wizard of all time. He was very young when he first realised that life was tough and ever since then it's only been proven.

Harry opened the bottle of pills and looked at them. It was strange that a few tiny white things could end his life. It wouldn't really be a big deal. The hospital staff would just assume he's just dropped off to sleep and by the time they find out it would probably be too late. It would even be convenient for them, someone dying in a hospital; they could just take him straight to the morgue. No fuss, no bloody battle, no evil dark lords. Just a nice clean and quiet death.

He looked down into the bottle then got a bottle of water that was standing at the side and flicked the lid off. 'Here goes nothing...'

However before he could even raise the little bottle of pills they were snatched away from him. Harry looked up to see Bill Weasley of all people standing in the middle of a muggle emergency room. Harry, being in complete shock managed to stare at him questioningly.

"Hermione put a tracing charm on you" he said simply

Harry just stared exhausted, glassy eyed and dazed and then said

"Why?"

"Dunno. You can ask her later" he said calmly while pocketing the pills. He kept his other hand on his wand in his pocket. Bill sat down on the seat next to Harry in the crowded waiting room.

"He was a friend of yours, wasn't he?" said Bill quietly "David was it?"

Harry didn't say anything. He noticed he was still holding that photo of him and the gang in the park. He would give anything to be back with them, back in the memory instead of now.

"We need to go now, everyone's been worried" he said calmly and he looked towards the door of the emergency room where there was Tonks and Kinsley wearing muggle clothes waiting outside for them. Harry followed his gaze and turned back to Bill.

"And what if I don't want to go?" he said dangerously, his anger building

"Look Harry, they're only trying to help you. It would be easier for everyone, especially yourself if you would just _let_ them help you"

Harry looked back towards the door where the two order members were standing and back to Bill again. He knew that they would try to take him kicking and screaming. He was completely trapped. The last thing he needed right now was to be locked up and have his only relief taken away from him. He knew what he had to do.

"Whatever. Can I at least go to the bathroom, you can wait outside the door if you want" he said sarcastically

Bill looked slightly hesitant

"Okay, but don't bother trying to run off again, we'll just trace you again. If you're not out in 5 minutes I'll come get you" he warned

"Fine" he said deadpanned. The bathroom doors were just round the corner but still visible from where they were sitting.

He got up and walked towards the bathroom door feeling the eyes on the back of his head. As the waiting room was so crowded with patients, doctors and nurses, no one would have seen Harry casually grab the nearest bag of pills he could find and slip them in his jacket pocket. He then quickly went into the bathroom and locked the door lock and looked at what he had gotten. It was a large packet of pills with a white label on it saying:

Oxycodone hydrochloride

'What the hell is that?' he thought to himself and he read the confusing medical warnings to see what the pills did, he didn't find anything until he got to the end:

"-Overdose Risk with Improper Administration of Extended-release Tablets (OxyContin)

-Oxycodone hydrochloride extended-release tablets are to be swallowed whole and are not to be broken.

-Chewing, crushing, or dissolving the extended-release tablets could result in rapid release and absorption of a potentially fatal dose of Oxycodone hydrochloride."

He wasn't going to let anyone ruin his life anymore. This had to be the third time he had contemplated suicide today and this time he didn't want to waste any time and let himself change his mind.

He broke the bag hurriedly and grabbed a handful of pills not bothering to read the dosage. He crushed them on the sink and collected the bits and put them in an abandoned plastic cup from the water dispenser outside. He filled the cup with about two shots worth of water and downed it in one.

Maybe it was because he was emotionally drained and tired or it was just psychological, but he could straight away feel the effect of the pills going through his system. He leaned against the bathrooms sink on the floor and started to close his eyes with a small smile. He would get to see Davy and Sirius again.

Xxxxxx

Bill waited outside the bathroom door for Harry. He didn't overly want to let him go but the situation was hard enough as it is and he really didn't want to have to drag Harry out of the hospital and back to Hogwarts. The tracing charm was still in effect and told him that he was still close by but he still didn't like it.

Bill looked at his watch, 4 minutes had been up and he knocked on the door

"Harry?" he called out at the door

"Harry?" he tried again but there was no answer.

Bill got out his wand and unlocked the door and slowly walked in and found a very ill looking Harry lying on the bathroom floor surrounded by pills.

"Shit..." he gasped to himself as

He ran down to Harry and shaked him as though to wake him up. He was even paler then usual and his breathing was very shallow.

"Harry?" he asked loudly still shaking his shoulders "Shit!"

He quickly checked his pulse, it was weak.

He looked towards the door trying to decide what to do quickly. He would be better off under magical medical care then muggles.

He picked Harry up and put him over his shoulder in a fire mans lift, which was still fairly hard to do even with the weight loss, and removed the window glass leading to outside with magic. He stepped through and ran towards Kingly and Tonks who were still waiting outside the entrance.

"What the-?" started Tonks

"He overdosed"

"But-"

"We need to get back to Hogwarts" Kingsley said in a strong yet calm voice.

Xxxxxx

Hermione was frantic when she had heard that Harry was missing. She knew there was more to it than that but no one would say anything else. It was only at this point she remembered the tracing charm she had put on his phone all those months ago and they were able to use it to find him. It was a pretty simple idea and she's surprised it hadn't been used before on Harry after the amount of times he's gone missing or been kidnapped. She just wanted it to be there for emergencies and to keep him safe so when on the first day back he asked her to charm his phone so it would work (and she noticed he hadn't had that phone out of his sight since he was at the burrow) she decided to add the charm.

Then she had completely forgotten about it. When Harry had run off from the burrow in the holidays she didn't even think about the tracking charm, which was probably a good thing now as he would have removed the tracing charm and they wouldn't have been able to find him this time.

She didn't really know what was going on when a group of people apparated into the hospital wing where she and Ron were waiting, it was only when she saw Harry's limp body on the ground she started to panic all over again. They had been quickly shooed out of the room by McGonagall while Madam Pomfrey and Professor Snape, for whatever reason, rushed over to him and brought him to a bed. Then the doors were closed and they didn't know what happened next.

Xxxxxx

As soon as Harry had arrived in the hospital wing he had to be resuscitated when his heart suddenly stopped. Professor Snape and Madam Pomfrey quickly make the antidote to what he had taken but the damage could have already been done due to Harry's malnourishment and the amount of drugs already in his system. After the antidote was given he seemed to stabilise, then alls they has to do was wait.

He was taken to a private room where Healer Johnson was waiting for them.

"How is he?" she asked briskly when they wheeled his bed in

"The antidote seems to be working but..."

"Yes?"

"We won't know the long term effects until later on"

"What are the long term effects?" asked the Healer

"Could be anything from brain damage to nothing at all"

"So I'm guessing it was some kind of painkiller?"

"Yes, he just grabbed it from the side in that hospital, totally irresponsible just leaving drugs lying around" she ended angrily

They both looked down at Harry who looked too thin for his frame and very pale. His jacket had been taken off to insert a drip and all the track marks and cuts stuck out on his arms.

"I was wondering what you thought about some of these marks?" asked Madam Pomfrey in what was meant to be a casual voice signalling to Harry's arms.

Healer Johnson looked down and immediately recognised a few of the cuts on Harry's arms. Some of them were small and looked like they were from a few fights or accidents, nothing serious, however there was a fairly long one that was too straight to be accidental on his inner arm.

"There are quite a few... It's not unusual for children in Harry's situation to self harm but some of these look fairly old" she said inspecting his arms

She started looking more closely and found no new scars on his arms but did see some scratched leading up round his shoulders but she couldn't see the rest because of his scruffy black tee shirt.

"I don't know where he could have gotten these... We'll have to look at these more closely when he's conscious" said Madam Pomfrey upset

"The ones on his back look at least a few weeks old and there are some faded ones on his arms look years old" she said professionally

"What I don't understand is why he hasn't had any treatment for any of these injuries" said the Healer more to herself

"What do you mean?" asked Madam Pomfrey slightly defiantly, it wasn't her fault she didn't know about it...

"I received all of his medical records, muggle and wizard, and he has never been treated for any of these injuries. Some of these must have happened when he was 12, 13 years old, maybe even 10 or 11 yet he wasn't treated"

Madam Pomfrey's eyes widened slightly as she realised what the Healer was saying. Harry hated his family, he was always quite vocal on that...

"I'm not sure though. Some of these could have been received from drug dealers for all we know, half the kids I've worked with come in half beaten after a run in with their dealers. Also he hasn't exactly been the most docile of people recently"

With that they both went their separate ways to wait for Harry to wake up

Xxxxxx

It wasn't until 4pm the next when Harry started to wake up. He slowly opened his tired red eyes to find himself in a white hospital room with a big window where he could see the sun setting. His whole body was stiff and sore and his head was banging. He felt completely drained and barely had the energy to lift his head up. He clumsily tried to lift his arms to cover and rub his eyes but found that his left arm wouldn't move. He turned towards it and noticed that his left wrist was handcuffed to the side of the bed.

"Fuck" he said in hoarse voice looking around the room again. He turned towards the small side table and saw a cup of water and managed to reach it with his right arm and take a few sips.

He inspected his body and noticed that he was attached to various sorts of machines he would call them, but they were probably running off magic.

He turned onto his side and blankly stared out of the large window and started re-calling what had happened in the last 24 hours.

-Everyone knew about the heroin

-He tried to commit suicide and everyone had probably already seen all his scars from the Dursleys (and the few from himself)

And the very worst was Davy dying.

Right now lying in the hospital room Harry felt like he was in a different world. How everything have changed so quickly in the space of a day. He felt completely empty yet depressed at the same time; he wished he could just lay here forever. But another emotion was creeping in and that was dread. This was like the calm before the storm. They were going to take the only thing that made him happy away and he can't do anything about it.

Xxxxxx

About an hour later Madam Pomfrey came in to see that Harry was awake. She quickly called for Healer Johnson to come by so she could talk to him. Once she arrived Madam Pomfrey checked Harry's stats and monitors while he ignored her and carried on to stare out the window. It was now completely pitch black and the only thing you could see outside was bits of the moon and hills in the distance.

After Madam Pomfrey left, Healer Johnson came in and sat by his bedside

"How are you feeling Harry?" asked the Healer calmly

He ignored her

"I thought I should just run through what's going to happen" she started off "You are going to stay here for the next few days for treatment and I'll be meeting with you everyday to check up on you" she paused to see if Harry was listening. She couldn't tell.

"Then, when you start to feel better, we'll be talking about a few other issues"

At this Harry turned to look at her with dark eyes.

"Have you got any questions you would like to ask?"

He said nothing

"Okay I'll be back tomorrow afternoon" she said simply. She knew there was no point trying to talk to him yet especially after what had happened in the last day or so.

Xxxxxx

Harry woke up that night at around 1am from a light sleep. He was sweating and his hands were starting to shake already. He felt a slight itching under his skin that no amount of scratching would make it go away. He was surprised it even had taken this long for it to come; he guessed that the painkillers he overdosed on kept the withdrawal at bay. It was only now that he realised how trapped he was.

Xxxxxx

**A/N: **This chapter was a little shorter than usual as it fits in better with the plot. The next chapter will include all the lovely withdrawal symptoms of heroin. I've put some more medical things in this chapter from the stuff I've been learning in A-level Biology lol, so expect more of that.

Please review and tell me how I'm doing :)

**Reviewer comments**

** Moon-Princess-Serena1993: **I sort of thought about the AIDs thing but then I thing the story would have gone off on a tangent, sort of off the main theme of the story. Thanks for reading :)

** liveadream: **I'm glad people weren't too upset lol :)

** Mini Luna: **Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it :)

** Madd Girl: **Haha thank you, at least it wasn't totally obvious ;)

** Cascol3: **Yeah he has lost a lot. I always think that when reading the books as well but no one really appreciates it

** AnythingTwilightMakesMeHappy: **Thank you :) I like to get Snape involved with Harry's angst, hope you enjoyed the chapter

** Nebulous Narwhal: **Haha thanks, I had to include a bit of humour in Davy's last words and yes in real life he probably would have died, if not sooner than now :/

** Lauraw18: **Thanks' :) I'm glad people are agreeing with Davys death, even though it was sad :(

** MusicxButterflyX: **I'm glad your liking the story :) I think I will include Snape in some stuff but I don't know about the whole Snape being a mentor thing, I find it a bit creepy lol

** Dark Neko 4000: **Wait and see ;)

** Faerex: **I'm glad you liked it and not mad over Davys death!

** Fhippogriff: **I know it was sad :( and I'm glad Davy's death was a surprise for some people, hope you enjoyed the chapter

** Pintos: **Thank you :D I'm glad you're enjoying it 

** MagnificentFern: **I like all the drug and angsty fictions too and I'm glad people are understanding why I decided to kill Davy off even though he was one of my favourite character and its good that not every knew Davy was going to die. I'm happy that you've enjoyed this fanfiction so much, I'm exactly the same staying up late reading wanting to finish storied :) Hope you enjoyed the chapter

** bethy2-2: **Lol I did mean pneumonia, stupid spell check! Thank you, I'm really happy people are enjoying this fanfiction so much :) I don't think harry could have been okay while Davy was still influencing him so I'm glad people understand why I killed him off even though he was one of my fave charecters :/ Hope you enjoyed the chapter


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **Thanks for all the reviews! :)

Sorry that I haven't updated in so long :( My excuses are that I was ill, I've had a ton of work from college and most of all I had writers block. This was a really hard chapter to write as I didn't really know where to go with it but I made myself get it done. Hope you enjoy...

**Hooked **

**Chapter Nineteen **

Everything was itching and burning. He wanted to get up and start punching out and screaming but at the same time he wanted to just curl up in a corner and wait it out. This was only hour 3 of withdrawal and he was already feeling like death was a better option. He had an itch all over his body and he felt like the only way to feel better was to do something drastic like jump out of a window or purposely fall down some stairs, something that would cut away this feeling...

For now he settled with repeatedly banging his head against the wall and hitting himself against the metal bars of his bed. He had had his handcuff taken off the bed now so he could move around the room but he was still locked in and everything that could possibly dangerous had been locked away. It was now 4am in the morning and through all the pain and frustration Harry started to wonder how it ended up like this. Everything was going fine until Snape decided to interfere. But another part of him didn't know what to feel about it as he managed to be there when Davy had died. If he hadn't it could have been days before he would have found out and that would have been worse.

Harry was now covered in sweat and started kicking against the mental bars of his bed again while shouting mixed up words and curses.

Madam Pomfrey heres all the shouting and banging and runs in shocked to see her student in such a state and doesn't know what to do. She can't sedate him with anything as it would be like taking a step back, he'd just get off on it, and she can't stupefy him, it would cause more harm than good. She watched as Harry continued to bang, kick and shout against the bed and was about to run out and get help so she could strap him down when she heard another loud bang and a slight crack. She turned around to see he had completely knocked himself out on the back of the bed.

It must have been at least 30 seconds before she came out of shock and went to see if he was okay. She fixed his head put of softening charm on the wall and bars of the bed so he wouldn't be able to harm himself anymore. After that she left making a mental note to get Healer Johnson over as soon as possible.

Xxxxxx

It was the next day in the Great Hall and there were already rumours going around about Harry being in the hospital wing. When Bill had come barging in the hospital wing carrying Harry who went into cardiac arrest, it had apparently attracted some attention. The people in the hospital wing at the time had spread the news and everyone was coming up with their own ridiculous theories.

"Whys Harry in the hospital wing?" asked Seamus reaching for the toast at the Gryffindor table. Everyone around them turned to look at Ron and Hermione.

Ron and Hermione looked at each other hesitantly. The only thing they had been told was that Harry had overdosed and it might be a while before anyone can visit him.

"We can't really say" replied Ron eventually

Everyone looked slightly disappointed. The students that were supposed to have left for the holidays yesterday have to stay for a few more days after a small death eater attack at Kings Cross station, so as there were no classes everyone was getting bored. Rumours and boredom never go well together. The most popular rumour was that Harry had finally cracked from the pressure of being 'the chosen one' and tried to kill himself by jumping off a bridge. Another popular one was that he got in a fight with some death eaters and they shot him with a bone crushing curse.

"Will he be okay?" asked Neville quietly

"He'll be fine soon" said Hermione trying to smile and went back to her breakfast.

Everyone turned back around to their own conversations while Ron and Hermione sat in silence.

Xxxxxx

Harry was sat in his white hospital room. He was wearing his grey sweat pants and a loose white t shirt. All round his eyes were dark and red and stuck out from his pale skin. He had cuts on his face and a few bandages here and there on his body from the last few days. Four days to be precise and without heroin. It had been hell and back but the worst was over now and Harry didn't know how he felt about that.

He was currently staring out the window blankly trying not to think about his shaking hands and banging headache.

It was still snowing.

He suddenly remembered back to last summer when Davy and the gang said they should all meet up when it next snowed and go 'Car sledging'

"_What the hell is Car sledging?" asked Harry while taking a drag of a cigarette_

"_Come on Harry can't you put two and two together?" asked Davy with a smirk. He was sitting on the park wall in the sunshine. _

"_Yeah, I'm just really hoping it's not what you're suggesting" _

"_You've never lived if you've never been car sledging" replied Davy shaking his head mockingly _

"_And you probably won't be alive afterwards" said Lucy disapprovingly _

"_Don't be dramatic Lucy, we always wear a helmet. Safety first" replied Davy _

"_Go on, what's Car sledging?" asked Harry _

"_Basically, you tie your sledge to a car and see how fast you can go down the M1" said Davy and Harry burst into laughter (__**A/N- **__The M1 is a UK motorway)_

"_You're fucking kidding me" _

"_He's not" replied Lucy grimly _

"_To be fair they only went on the M1 once" said Summer thoughtfully _

"_I'm surprised you're not dead" said Lucy in monotone_

"_Chill Luce. Nah I'm serious, we have got to meet up and do this. It doesn't have to be on the motorway, we could do it at Kansley Park. You in Harry?" _

_Harry stopped laughing and turned to Davy_

"_Definitely. Just no motorways, I don't wanna temp fate" _

He could remember that day so vividly, just that normal conversation. Back then he was happy, he didn't know he would look back on that memory with sadness and longing. It was just like Sirius all over again. How can someone be here one minute then not the next? How can someone who's breathing talking laughing just suddenly stop and everything else in the world just carry's on like normal, like nothing has happened.

Maybe it was the lack of drugs or the grief but Harry felt trapped in his own mind. Thoughts kept going round and round and he couldn't do anything about it. Usually the drugs would knock this part of his brain out, but he had none. So many emotions swirling round in his head that he went into a depressed sort of numbness staring out the window at the snow.

Xxxxxx

"So, how have you been Harry?"

He just started at her. It next day and Harry found himself in cosy room with Healer Johnson. She had been checking on him for the last few days and had decided that now would be a good time to re start their sessions.

"Are you feeling any better?"

Silence again

"Madam Pomfrey says you're not eating anything..."

...

"Okay. Its okay you don't want to talk. Just speak to me when you're ready" she stated with a slight smile. He knew how to handle these cases and not to push them.

"I just need to inform you medically what treatment you have received. The overdose hasn't left any long term damage, you may feel tired and have a few migraines in the few weeks or so but they'll go eventually. There doesn't seem to have been any complications with the drug withdrawal but we just need to start getting you healthy again"

"Theres just one more thing I need to ask you about" she continued and Harry glanced at her

"When we were healing you we noticed some unusual scars and marks. There is nothing in your medical record about them and no accidents have been reported here, so it makes us wonder how you've got them"

Harry just stared at her. She knew precisely where they came from.

"We don't have to talk about them today but it's something we will have to talk about eventually"

That was a kick in the teeth. With everything going on recently he hadn't even thought about the Dursleys and now he was going to be made to talk about them. It made him want to cry with frustration. Why was everything so difficult...

Healer Johnson watched Harry process all this information until he got up ready to leave. She stood up to and opened the door and led him back to his own room before she left she turned round to him

"By the way, Happy Christmas Eve" she said with a smile and walked out the door remembering to lock it.

Xxxxxx

On Christmas day Harry found himself just staring at the wall again thinking. He felt less shaky today and his body ached a little less. He had a small heap of presents in the corner of his room that he couldn't bring himself to open. He didn't see the point in any of it. He was just thinking about going back to bed again when Madam Pomfrey came in with his medicine and a small breakfast.

"Merry Christmas Mr Potter" she said briskly storing the medicine away and tidying up the room.

Harry ignored her and carried on staring at the wall

"Come on Potter you haven't even opened up your presents. You need to be dressed and ready by One o'clock. You're going to be joining us for Christmas Lunch in the Great Hall, Mr Lupin will be picking you up" she said while levitating Harry's presents onto his bed next to him.

She looked at him expectantly and he sighed and reached for the first card he saw.

It was from Summer.

_Hey Harry, _

_Just wanted to see how you're doing. I don't know what to say except I'm glad he was with someone he loved when he passed. Please look after yourself and please stay in touch. _

_Merry Christmas by the way, Sorry this was such a depressing letter. _

_You better send me a letter back_

_Love Summer xxxx_

Harry felt terrible again. Had he taken Davy away from them? Shouldn't have Davy died with Summer or Lucy or even Will? They had been best friends for ages before Harry had come along.

He looked to the letter and present pile and found a letter with Lucy's hand writing

_Harry, _

_I just thought you should know that Davy's been buried already, we didn't know until yesterday but we're visiting his grave on the 29__th __at Heathton cemetery when everyone's back in town. _

_I hope you're doing okay and you listened to what I said at the hospital. Will says Hi._

_Merry Christmas_

_Lucy_

Davy had already been buried... Of course he had, he's been dead for a week now...

A sudden realisation crashed down on Harry like a ton of bricks. Seeing this letter in Hogwarts just made everything so real. What was he doing here? He had told himself he didn't want this life in Hogwarts, yet here he is letting them lock him up and take away everything he had. Everything in the last week had happened so fast that he didn't notice what he was going through. He had been off drugs for almost a week now and he felt like shit, he wouldn't have let them do this before. And he wasn't going to let them do this now.

He had to escape. Again.

He just needed to leave, go run somewhere, get drunk, take drugs, just anything to get away from this. The thought of taking heroin again just a few more times to get him through the next few weeks was indescribable. He had nothing to lose.

He looked around his room for some way out. The door was locked and so was the window. He looked down and thought about smashing it but he really didn't fancy jumping off another building. He sat on his bed and racked his brain. It's not as though he could run off while Lupin was here or in the great hall full of wizards. He needed some kind of port key or Floo powder... It didn't help that he had about no one in the castle left to help him out...

That's when he remembered: Dobby!

He had seen house elves apparate in and out of the castle lots of times. Unless now Voldemorts back they made security tighter... or maybe Dumbledore had warned Dobby not speak to him so he couldn't escape again...

"Dobby!"

The house elf appeared with a crack at the end of Harry's bed.

"Mr Harry Potter Sir! Merry Christmas! What can Dobby do for you?" started the happy elf

"Dobby, can you apparate people in and out of this castle?" asked Harry carefully

"Yes Harry Potter, Dobby can" said the elf slightly puzzled

Harry smiled and continued

"See, I promised that I would meet someone today in Surrey but I can't get there because all of the teachers are busy and I need to get there quickly and..."

Harry stopped when he saw the elf's ear drop. That was never a good sign.

"Sorry Harry Potter Sir but Dobby isn't allowed to take students outside school" said Dobby sadly

Harry inwardly cursed

"But Dumbledore did give me permission, couldn't you just..."

"Sorry sir, Dobby is not allowed"

Harry sighed and tried to think of something fast. Then he remembered the last time he escaped. He had just used Madam Pomfrey's Floo to escape. Looks like he'd have to try that one again.

He quickly went to the corner of his room where his trunk was and got a black tracksuit jacket out and his old trainers. His trunk had been searched and everything bad had been taken out. But they didn't think to take out his muggle money.

He started lacing his trainers up and turned with a fake smile to a sad looking Dobby

"It's fine Dobby, I just remembered that Professor McGonagall might take me" he said getting up and heading towards the door "I'll pop by and see you later in the kitchens?"

Dobby nodded happily as Harry turned the door knob that would budge

"Damn I forgot my wand. Would you mind helping me out Dobby, this doors always locking its self" he said casually to the house elf

"Of course Harry Potter!" said the elf happy to be able to help out

The door clicked open and Harry looked around the empty corridor.

"Thanks Dobby, see ya later" he said over his shoulder and Dobby disapparated.

He walked down the corridor staying alert for any movement and walked towards the entrance to the rest of the hospital wing. It was a door with a big glass window so he could see most of the wing. Madam Pomfrey wasn't anywhere to be seen and there didn't seem to be many students in, only one that seemed to be unconscious on the other side of the room. He decided to risk it.

The door was locked so he wrapped his sleeve around his hand and punched the glass and opened the door form the other side by undoing a latch. Harry was surprised at how easy it was to escape from wizards. He went in the room quickly, grabbed the unconscious student's wand and repaired the glass and re locked the door to give him some time. He rushed over to Madam Pomfrey's office which was luckily empty and went over to the fire place. He smiled when he saw the Floo powder conveniently placed on top. This had been the easiest escape yet.

Xxxxxx

It was about 3 hours later and Harry found himself on the bus. A muggle bus this time. He had flooed to the leaky cauldron like last time but as he didn't have any wizard money he had to find a muggle bus instead. It wasn't hard as there was a bus station nearby as they were in the middle of London. So far he had been on three different buses but he didn't mind. He just sat by the window and looked out at the city in snow. It was quite relaxing really. It had gotten dark now, even though it was only about 3.

With him he had a paper bag. It hadn't been hard to find drugs in London. When you're an addict you know which places are likely to sell drugs. But he hadn't taken any yet. It didn't feel right. He wanted to be back in Westhill before he did anything else.

It took another hour of buses before he did get back to Westhill estate. It dropped him off on the other side near the building he fell off and near where the cemetery was... It was a busy part of Westhill, which was more of a town than an estate when you looked at the size of it. There were people everywhere and the street was lit up with Christmas decorations. Harry entered some old diner that was on the slightly quieter side of the street and ordered a coffee. He took a corner booth where he had some privacy.

Hey laid the package out on the table. There was a heroin, a bit of foil and a lighter. The lighter had reminded him to smoke. He hadn't smoked since he overdosed which hasn't helped him mood.

His blood craved the drugs in front of him yet he found that he couldn't make himself pick up the brown powder. He had been clean for a week now, should he really do it? It still didn't seem right...

He stared the drugs not knowing what to do. Time filed by and he still couldn't do it. He wanted them yet...

Harry got up and angrily grabbed the bag and made his way out the diner. He didn't understand why he couldn't do it after everything that had happened, Davy died, Sirius died, his only relatives want him dead, Voldemort wants him dead, his fr-"

Harry's thoughts were cut off when he accidently walked into something, or someone who was sitting on the ground.

"You got any change mate?" asked the man very slurred. He was leaning against a bright shop window and there were some people about giving him disapproving looks.

He couldn't have been older than 21. He was wearing an old big coat and was sitting on a piece of cardboard. But that wasn't what Harry noticed the most when he saw this guy. He noticed the bags under his eyes, how he couldn't concentrate on anything in front of him and he also saw the needles on the floor next to him. He knew there were a lot of junkies around here but he'd never really seen any of them. The man sat there giggling slightly between shivers. He was filthy and looked like hell.

"No" Harry said quietly with a frown and started to walk away.

He looked around to see where he was and he heart stopped momentarily.

Big gates next to a small church read 'Heathton Cemetery', just opposite to where he was standing. Harry wasn't really a religious person but after the year he's had and how and the last few weeks he felt like it was some kind of fate that brought him here. He crossed the road and entered the gates.

The place was completely empty and the only source of light was from the street lights casting off a yellow glow. He walked through the grave yard in the undisturbed snow in the complete silence trying to find Davy. It took him about 20 minutes to find him as people were located depending on when they were buried. It was more at the side of the graveyard where there were some trees and a bench; there was even a pond further up. There was just a simple plaque on the ground in white Marble

_David Francis Smith_

_1981-1997_

Harry moved away and sat on the bench opposite and let the tears come. He didn't know what to do anymore, especially without Davy. He had been beaten down so many times by people, his 'family', his parent's murders, people at Hogwarts. He just wanted to give up and leave everything behind but that's when he remembered Davy's last word's

_I wouldn't have let him win_

His father had gotten him down like Harry's aunt and uncle had. Davy had died knowing this. Harry didn't want to die like that. He didn't want to die young or be made a victim. He didn't want to be a 20 year old junkie spending his Christmas high on the streets. He had made up his mind. He looked at the paper bag next to him and after 10 minutes of hesitation and doubt he chucked it into the pond. He heard the water stir when it hit the surface and saw the bag sink down into the darkness. As this happened a calm wave seemed to go through his body and he relaxed back into the bench and looked up into the deep blue sky.

It was snowing again.

For the first time since he'd been outside he could feel the cold air on his skin and in his lungs every time he breathed in. He noticed how beautiful and fresh the snow was in the graveyard, covering every surface with clean white. His mind felt clear in the peaceful silence. There were still a lot of problems to cross and things to fix, but for the first time in months he felt alive again.

Xxxxxx

**A/N: **Did everyone 'get' this chapter or was it bad? Like I said it was really hard to write because I didn't really plan what would happen in this story after Davy died, but now I have more of any idea. I will try to update sooner!

Please review and tell me whether you liked this chapter or if you have any suggestions :)

**Reviewer comments**

** ZippyStar: **Thank you, glad you like it :)

** Blackroselover: **Thank you, sorry for the wait :)

** Moon-Princess-Serena1993: **Thanks :) sorry for the wait

** Pj35: **I saw you review and decided to get cracking! I hadn't realised how long I hadn't updated for. Thank so much for the reviews and I'm glad you love the story :D

As for the roof thing, Harry did survive it because his magic sort of saved him and stopped him from getting hurt too badly. I got the idea when in the books Neville says his uncle through him out the window lol

** MusicxButterflyX: **:)

** Cascol3: **Healer Johnson will be the main person to help Harry as he has experience and knows how to deal with people like him :)

** Elisima: **Thank you :) I'm glad you like it so much. And I agree that I'm surprised that in the books Harry didn't really do anything when Sirius had died.

** RealSlimShady: **Thank you :) I'll try to be quicker next time

** misscutestuff: **Thank you, I liked Bill in the books, I think he should have been in them more often :)

** DarkRavie: **Thank you, I'm glad you like it :)

** Madd girl: **Lol Harry definitely won't be that co-operative but he will start to get better. Thanks for reviewing :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**A/N: **I wasn't actually going to update this soon due to the fact I have exams in January and I'm supposed to be revising :/

But got bored and decided it would be a good Christmas present for y'all. Sorry it's not very long but I thought it would be better than nothing. Merry Christmas!

**Hooked Chapter 20**

It was only 8pm when Harry returned to the castle. He had managed to get the knight bus for free back to Hogsmeade after promising Stan that he would pay double next time. He had calmly walked in through the gates and was met by a frantic looking Remus and Bill.

"Harry, where have you been?" asked Remus weakly, looking Harry over very carefully

"Just for a walk"

"You've been gone 8 hours" said Bill disbelievingly

"That's what you get when you lock someone up for 6 days straight"

Bill and Remus looked uncertainly at Harry. He didn't seem high, he stilled looked like a complete mess but he was acting okay...

"So what's for tea?" asked Harry breaking the silence

Xxxxxx

After a full health check off Madam Pomfrey and having what must have been the 3rd blood test that week he was allowed to eat a small Christmas dinner in the cosy and empty staffroom with Remus and Tonks and Bill, who decided to stick around for a while before going back to the Weasley's. Harry could tell Remus was very concerned about him but thankfully he kept it to himself, which probably Healer Johnsons doing. He was still extremely tired and felt a bit sick, more symptoms of withdrawal, but it was nice just to listen to the odd groups conversations about unimportant stuff and funny stories from Hogwarts. He would join the conversation a couple of times and answer a few questions but he mostly just watched and listened.

"So how are thinks going?" asked Bill as Tonks and Remus were deep in conversation over an old Runes professor

"Okay" replied Harry mildly smiling slightly. He was sitting nearest the fire in a comfy armchair.

Bill smiled back and nodded slightly

"Glad to hear it. Its probably a good thing you skipped Christmas at ours this year, Fred and George set off fireworks in the attic which busted a pipe totally soaking the whole house. I don't think mum has stopped screaming yet."

Harry smiled again, something he wasn't really used to yet.

"I kinda wished I'd had seen that..." he started but then turned to look at the eldest Weasley

"Hey... I wanted to say I'm sorry about the whole hospital thing... I wasn't really thinking and... I shouldn't have put you in that position" he said slowly and thoughtfully realising that there was a lot of stuff to fix. Fixing things right now seemed like an okay thing to do. It would maybe get his mind of everything so he wouldn't have to think about what had happened over the last few months.

"Don't mention it" said Bill "You weren't in a good place"

"Thanks" replied Harry genuinely

Harry was grateful that Bill didn't go into it too much right now. The evening eventually ended and at around midnight everyone started to leave. It looked liked Remus wanted to come and talk to him but Madam Pomfrey collected him before he had a chance to.

Once he got back into the confines of his room he went over to the small pile of presents and cards he had left before and started to open them. The first one looked like it was from Ron and Hermione

_Hi Harry_

_I'm sorry for everything that has happened. I wish we could have helped you more and have known what to do. We just want you to know that whatever happens we'll always be here for you. Hope your having an Okay Christmas_

_Love from_

_Ron & Hermione_

Attached to the letter was a large bag of random sweets from Honey Dukes. He opened the bag and found some of the strongest flavoured sweets he could to try and distract his mind slightly from the fact he hadn't drank or taken any drugs in the last week. He then opened a few cards of people like Neville and Mr and Mrs Weasley with their usual jumper. Lastly he found a letter with a small present wrapped in pink paper with white hearts on.

_Hey Hazza ;)_

_Hope your okay, it's been very boring without you._

_Merry Christmas! And I hope you like the gift, I ran out of broomstick wrapping paper, sorry!_

_Love _

_Ella_

Harry opened the wrapping paper to reveal a box of chocolates and a small white key ring that said on it: I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY. I enjoy every minute of it.

Harry found himself smiling again. That about summed him up, or it used to, he didn't know about tomorrow. He sat back down on his bed and switched the lights off. He knew today was just a one off. That easy period when you decide to change something before it really kicks off. Tomorrow everything would feel worse again but it would hopefully get better again. Eventually.

Xxxxxx

"A Bipolar disorder?" repeated Harry angrily "How do you deduce that?"

Healer Johnson sighed. She knew he was going to react like this. It was the day after Christmas and Harry was already starting to be 'difficult'. Meanwhile Harry was right about waking up to less happier feeling and he was taking it out on the only person he could.

"I said it was a possibility. Our meetings over the last few months would suggest you have it. You admitted yourself you went from high moods to low, which is the most prominent symptom of bipolar"

"I'm not Bipolar! And at the time you didn't know that I was smoking crack in the bathroom before our little meetings. I would have probably admitted to being the leader of bloody 'al qaeda' if you'd have asked me"

"A bipolar disorder was only one of the options" replied Healer Johnson calmly ignoring the last comment "What I think applies to you is some form of depression. But like you said due to the amount of drugs that was in your system it is hard to know whether you are Bipolar or you have just been in a cocaine psychosis for the 3 months" she replied dryly.

Harry just stared back at the healer defiantly and meddled with a pack of gum in his hands. Apparently people recovering from an addiction subconsciously try to replace their old addiction with something else to relieve tension, so so far he had gone through 3 packs of gum and 2 packs of cigarettes.

"Harry, does a happy person take drugs?" she asked catching Harry off guard

"There are many happy people taking drugs, go look at them, they never stop smiling" he replied

"Does a happy person do this to themselves?" she said again ignoring his sarcastic comments

"Do what?" asked "You know what, I didn't really even have that much of a problem. Yes I now know it's bad, but I wasn't that bad"

"You weren't that bad? Well let's see" said the Healer reaching over to her suitcase and pulling out a piece of paper.

"These are the results to your first drug test: cocaine; diacetylmorphine, also known as heroin; morphine; hydrocodone and oxycodone; Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, also known as MDMA or ecstasy; Vicodin; Xanax; Zolpidem, ambien; lysergic acid diethylamide, which is LSD and oh Ketamine, do you know what that one is?" she asked Harry

He shrugged tiredly

"It's a horse tranquiliser" she said

"That's not good" replied Harry frowning while trying to remember when he took horse tranquilisers.

"No it's not really, you just seemed to be taking pills not knowing what they were" she said disapprovingly but the dropped the attitude and looked at Harry seriously "I'm not telling you this to be mean, it's just important you know the extent of the situation. It was only a week ago when you tried to kill yourself with those pills and I understand that that was partly due to the situation at the time, but it can't be ignored"

Harry knew she was telling the truth. He had truly felt it when he woke up today. He just felt sad. It was different to the times he felt down on drugs or alcohol when he was too out of it to think straight. But now he felt sad and empty, like all the hope had been taken from his life, that there was no point in it anymore. He could hardly bother get out of bed this morning which Healer Johnson annoyingly noticed.

"Look, I want us to carry on our daily sessions and see where we go from there, okay?" she asked calmly

Harry just nodded and left the room. Once he got there he sat on his bed and stared into space. He knew he should start revising or actually starting to do some of the work he had skipped over the last term but every time he thought about it he was bombarded with flashbacks and memories.

"_What've you got there?" asked Harry walking up the gang in the park_

"_We got our GCSE results today, Davy was just explaining his" said Lucy rolling her eyes_

"_Actually Miss Lucy, I seemed to have achieved a fair few, unlike William over here" he said slowly indicating he'd already started celebrating_

"_Me? I've done good considering I slept through most of the lessons" replied Will laughing _

"_Okay then, why don't you share with the group why you got a "U" in English?"said Davy clearly enjoying himself (__**A/N**__: in the UK that means Unclassified and GCSE's are the exams you take when your 16 at the end of high school) _

_Harry sat down next to him and Summer. There was a small makeshift fire in the middle of the circle of friends and summer was playing the radio through her phone. _

"_How did you get a U in English?" asked Lucy smirking _

"_Well I usually get the train to school in the mornings but on the day of the exam I took ecstasy and decided to get a train to London instead" replied Will_

_Harry burst out laughing "I'm surprised, I thought it would be Davy pulling that kind of shit"_

"_No, I at least showed up for all my exams" replied Davy _

"_Yeah, in some rather interesting states" said summer grimly _

"_What _did _you get in History in the end?" asked Lucy disapprovingly _

"_An 'E'" replied Davy smirking while Lucy laughed hard_

"_How the fuck did you even manage that?" she asked_

"_I don't know" he said_

"_What happened?" asked Will frowning _

"_Someone gave me some of these LSD patches to pass onto someone else and so I wouldn't get caught I put them in my socks before the exam and the tabs got sweaty and ended up getting absorbed through my skin. Still managed to not get an F though"_

_The group laughed again_

"_Haven't you got yours yet Harry?"asked Summer_

"_Nah we don't get ours until we go back" he lied_

"_Aww, I think someone is shy about their results" said Davy mockingly _

"_How do you think you did?" asked Lucy taking a drag of a spliff_

"_I fell asleep in one of them and another got interrupted when a teacher got into a fight with the... 'Police'" he replied smirking _

"_Wow, Fancy boarding schools are really starting to go downhill" commented Davy and then suddenly laughed "You fell asleep?! Ha, well at least you showed up..."_

_Harry and Will watched as Davy downed the last of the Vodka in a few gulps and started to try and light a cigarette_

"_Fuck Davy, take it easy, you carry on like that and your body is going to be fucked" said Lucy over the radio._

"_Chill Luce, I'll have an apple later" _

"_And he wonders why he failed biology" said Will with a smirk _

"_Come on Will, we're young! You know what that means?" asked Davy brightly_

"_Not if it's by your logic..." _

"_It means we're fucking invincible" _

Xxxxxx

**A/N: **So this is what I found myself writing at 10pm Christmas Eve. Hope you guys enjoyed it a bit and will keep you going for a while as I hate to say this but I probably won't be updating for a month or so because of exams, new modules at college etc

I hope everyone has a great Christmas and a Happy New Year! :)

Please review too!

**Reviewer comments**

Moon-Princess-Serena1993 : Thank you : ) sorry its taken so long

starlock: Thank you, I'm glad that people understood what I was trying to do with and not just think it was really random lol : )

THE ULTIMATE POTTERHEAD : Haha lol thank you, I'm glad that I did manage to portray the emotions well and not have people wondering what the hell I'm on about : )

Zana20 : Thank you so much for all the reviews : D I will try to address everything you had brought up. I agree that Dumbledore in his high position could have done more in the 1st and 2nd war like helping Sirius and realising that Quirell and Mad Eye (barty crouch) were working for Voldy. I do think that although Dumbledore has made many mistakes he did try to keep the responsibility of the war off of Harry for as long as he could. The withdrawal symptoms were at the start of chapter 19, I've done a lot of research on it and I know that the first 48 hours are so are the worst then it improves a lot after that but people tend to go back on it when they are not in a good or stable place mentally. People that do get to a 'better place' go as far to say that they don't even think about heroin or their addiction anymore, its like a different life to them. Harry is not going to suddenly feel better and happy again and his problems/addictions will not suddenly just go, he still had a lot of stuff to get through. Harry has also already tried to kill himself and those feelings will definitely not go away either, this fic isn't over yet.

Thank you again for the reviews and I hope you keep on enjoying the story

.153 : Thanks : ) I'm glad your enjoying it and your finding it emotional, I was worried people would n't understand where I was going with all this : )

bethy2-2 : Thank you : ) I'm glad you like Davy, he's probably one of my favourite characters to read and write about, I will probably still include him in flash backs and memories

ZippyStar : He's getting there : ) and sorry it took so long to update :/

DarkRavie : Thank you, I'm glad your enjoying it :)

Ex Mentis : I agree that the only way people with addictions get off them is by something really big happening like a death, sorry to hear about your aunt and uncle, I hope their okay now. Harry's problems are not over yet by a long shot but he should be getting better : )

Pj35: Thank you for the reviews :) I hope you enjoyed some of those fic's I sent you ;)

Elisima : Thank you : ) glad your enjoying it, I hope to still keep things entertaining in Hogwarts lol

Faerex : Thank you : ) hope your not disappointed ;)

konii : Thank you :) it means a lot to hear that because I know how good it is to come across a story you can't stop reading. I'm glad your enjoying it :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Bad language

**A/N: **Wow sorry it's been so long since I last updated :(

I've had exams and I've been so busy with other college work. I probably won't be updating that frequently now until summer as I don't have enough time but I'll try my best :)

I've written about half of this in one so sorry for any mistakes, I just really wanted to get this update out soon, it's an emotional one lol.

Hope you enjoy...

**Hooked Chapter 21**

The withdrawals were starting to get better. Once you had gotten the first 48 hours out of the way it wasn't as bad, there would be periods of nausea, headaches and tiredness for the next week or so. Harry had already completed the agonising 48 hours of pain and was now suffering the 'after effects' of the withdrawal. But he didn't have time to think about that as today was the day of Davy's send off.

The last few days had gone slowly for Harry. As his mind was clearing up he was starting to feel claustrophobic and even slightly embarrassed. He felt self conscious that so many people knew about his drug addiction. He knew that Ron and Hermione would know by now along with the Weasley family and probably most the staff... including Snape. He also guessed that most of the Order would know as well seeing as everything he did was discussed by the group. Harry didn't like that he was stuck in Hogwarts while he was most vulnerable. He wished he could have gone off and hid away at some far off hospital and deal with this on his own. Maybe it was because he was used to dealing with his own problems while growing up so he felt that this was all so unnecessary.

Harry tiredly started putting tying his shoes up and got up off the bed. The gathering would start at 3 but he was meeting up with Lucy and Summer first in a cafe in West Hill just near the graveyard he had already visited the other night. Even though he had already been buried it seemed appropriate to go back together and pay their respects. Lupin was going to take him to West Hill with Tonks but they said they would keep their distance and would only be there to make sure no death eaters decided to drop by.

Harry still didn't really know how to feel about everything yet. The drug withdrawal had left him confused, tired and depressed but slightly happy at the same time at the thought that things would hopefully sort themselves out. As he was just contemplating what exactly would happen in the future there was a knock at the door and Lupin entered with a sad smile.

"You ready?" asked Lupin

"Yeah" replied Harry distantly

They walked out of Harry's room in the hospital wing and met Tonks in Madam Pomfrey's office. They then all wordlessly held onto the piece of parchment, their port key, and appeared in an alley in West Hill near the cafe where he was meeting the girls.

"Harry we'll be watching you closely to make sure nothing happens, okay?" said Lupin almost sternly

"I'll be fine" he replied meeting Lupin's gaze "Thanks"

Lupin and Tonks watched Harry walk across the busy street and into the cafe. In all honesty Lupin had disagreed with this outing. It hasn't even been 2 weeks since he'd last taken drugs and overdosed and they're letting him go back to the very same people who gave him the drugs in the first place. He had argued but eventually Healer Johnson had over ruled him saying that it was only this guy David who took the drugs with him and the others would help him grieve and get himself back together.

"Otherwise in the future Harry would look back on his drug taking with that group and see it as a happy time and a state of mind for when things go bad, he'll see it as a place to escape to" The healer had said "He won't have seen the real consequences and effect on the group, the grief, the loss and the anger"

It didn't make much sense to Lupin but he knew for a fact he was going to watch Harry like a Hawk during the next few hours.

As Harry entered the coffee shop he found Lucy sitting by herself at a small table in the corner. He slowly walked up towards her and coughed slightly to get her attention. She looked up suddenly and eyed him over before standing up and giving him a tight hug. Harry gave a small quick laugh and hugged back.

"You look like shit" she murmured

"Better than before though" he replied

Lucy held him out at arm's length and gave a small nod.

"Better than before" she agreed and they both sat down at the small table in the corner by the window.

"So how is everyone?" asked Harry after a minute's silence while chewing on some sweets he carried around in his pocket. He'd moved on from gum to sweets now and was going through them at a slightly unhealthy rate. He thought it would be ironic that he quits heroin only to get diabetes.

"Okay" said Lucy lightly "We're all still a bit... after Davy but... things will get better"

Harry nodded understanding how hard it was to talk about it. After all Lucy had known Davy the longest.

"What about you? How's everything going?" asked Lucy. She didn't have to say what 'everything' meant

"Okay I guess. 12 days" he replied while rubbing his eyes and leaning his head on his hand hoping that another headache wasn't going to come. 12 days sober and there were still headaches; he had been told though that this could last for up to a month afterwards.

"That's good" said Lucy sincerely "I'm glad"

Harry nodded not knowing what to say next. What was he supposed to say after everything that had happened? Did Lucy blame him for making Davy get worse? Was she mad at him?

Lucy however seemed to have read his mind and spoke up.

"I meant what I said at the hospital you know. None of us could have done anything. People think that all because there is nothing physically wrong with someone, like cancer or broken bones, then it's within our control and it's an easy problem to fix or to at least try and fix. But its not. We once handcuffed my brother to a radiator for 2 days to get him clean and as soon as we let him out he ran off again and got wasted again. We tried everything"

Harry felt his eyes starting to water, partly because of the subject, partly because he was so tired.

"But you guys took drugs and drank all the time, why is it that your okay here and Davy's dead?" he asked slightly angry and slightly desperate for the answer.

"You take away Davy's drinks and drugs and you're left with a severely depressed 16 year old kid" said Lucy whose eyes were also tearing up "Me, Summer and Will didn't ever need the drugs or alcohol. We didn't need to escape. We had other things going on in our lives that we didn't need to run from. Drugs seemed to be the only thing in Davy's life. I'm sorry Harry but its true..."

Harry looked around not knowing where to look until his gaze settled outside the window.

"Look Harry, there's something else I wanted to mention before we meet up with everyone else and I want you to be completely honest. No bullshitting me, okay?" she asked firmly

Harry nodded reluctantly

"Do you still want to take smack?" she asked keeping eye contact

Harry rolled his eyes

"Well seeing's as I haven't taken it for the last 2 weeks-"

"That's not an answer" she said coldly

"Yes and no… No I don't. Why would I after what happened to Davy?" said Harry wondering himself whether he is lying or not

"So you've had no cravings? No urge to run out and buy something hard hitting and make the pain go away?"

"Well of course I've had cravings" replied Harry getting annoyed "Why are you asking me this?"

Lucy sighed

"I just want to make sure you're going to go through with this, because I don't know if I can go through this again"

They stared at each other in silence. Lucy had a pained look on her face while Harry was trying to keep it together.

"Come on Luce, give me some credit, I think I'm doing fairly well considering" Harry replied softly

"I know you are. You've gotten through the first few weeks and thats great but that isn't the end of it. One day in the future, maybe weeks or months from now, you'll hit a wall. That wall could be depression, an event or just a few bad memories hit wrong and when that happens you'll look back and wonder what was so bad about the drugs and whether one more hit would be worth it. You'll probably get some of the most intense cravings at this point, it's actually when most users relapse"

"Over 80%" said Harry impassively remembering what healer Johnson said

"You going anywhere with this Luce?" asked Harry dully

"Yeah, when you do start to get these cravings, tell someone. Anyone. Call me if you have to and we'll take you out to a fair or something just don't keep it bottled up.

"Okay" said Harry with a small smile "Can't you take me to a fair anyway?"

Lucy snorted

"On a trainee Nurses salary? You better on the verge of mental breakdown if you do call me wanting to go to the fair"

Harry was just about to reply when he saw a colourful looking Summer walk into the coffee shop. She ran up to the table and gave Harry a hug

"Harry! How've you been? I missed you!" she said with her arms still round Harry who was laughing

"Okay" he replied shifting slightly under Summers weight. She finally let go and grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the table.

"Just okay?" she asked

"Well considering everything..." replied Harry and Summer sobered up completely

"Yeah... I just wish we could have been to the actual funeral" said Summer sadly

"Who did organise it?" asked Harry, as far as he knew Davy didn't have anyone else

"His uncle did it think. He was the only one the hospital could get hold of and he signed all the papers for the burial. I don't think it was much of a funeral..." said Lucy "I don't even think his dad showed up"

They were all silent for a while before deciding to head off to graveyard to say goodbye.

Xxxxxx

"So how was it?" asked Healer Johnson. Harry had only been back an hour or two before being dragged into his therapy session.

"Okay" said Harry for what had to be the hundredth time today

"Care to elaborate?" asked Johnson and Harry shrugged

Over all it had been an 'okay' day. A few of Davy's other friends came along with him, Lucy, Summer and Will and they all said their goodbyes and talked about the good times they had together. Harry and Will had had a good conversation for the first time since he saw him and Davy taking heroin and Lucy seemed to be calmer most of the day too. However this sense of peace he had gained during the day was dissolving quickly as he sat in healer Johnson's office and the feeling of resentment for being stuck in this hospital wing all day was rising.

"Fine then. How did it feel to see all your friends again?"

Harry ignored her and started to fidget. The last session had been a hard one. Apparently Dumbledore had told the Healer about the whole situation with Sirius and the subject of that lesson was all about said person. Harry started pull at his sleeve to try and contain his sudden anger.

"Did it make you get any cravings?" continued the Healer

"Why am I here?" asked Harry suddenly

Healer Johnsons raised her eyebrows

"What do you mean?" she asked

"I mean, why am I locked in a hospital room all day for no reason. I'm not on drugs anymore, you can't keep me here" he replied coldly

"Why do you think your here?" asked Healer Johnson coolly

"I just told you I don't know" said Harry angrily "Is this even legal? Isn't it my choice on whether I want to get treated or not?"

"After an attempted suicide we have to keep the person for 72 hour observation. After the observation the doctor would decide what happens next"

"And?" asked Harry impatiently

"I highly recommend that you stay here for treatment" said the Healer simply

"But you can't actually make me"

"Harry, don't you want to get better?" she asked

"I want to be left alone" Harry bit out

"I'm pretty sure that's what you used to say when you were on the drugs"

"I'm not on drugs!" he practically yelled fuming.

There was a moments silence before Healer Johnson started to speak again.

"Technically I can't make you do anything now. The 72 hour observation after you overdosed is over, there seems to be nothing seriously wrong so you can leave. I thought after everything that has happened in the last few weeks that it would be best for you to have a break and a fresh start" she said calmly

"I was under observation?" asked Harry distractedly

"You tried to commit suicide; legally you had to be under observation. Nothing was kept from you though. I told you after the observation about a possible bipolar disorder, but we ruled that out after a couple of sessions"

Harry didn't say anything; he just stared defiantly at the Healer. In a way he knew he was being unfair but the weeks of pent up anger wouldn't go away.

"Look, Harry, we still have a lot of things to talk about. Things that aren't going to go away that easily. You tried to kill yourself, yes I partly understand that was due to pressure and you being under the influence of drugs, which is partly how you passed the observation, but it's still something we need to talk about. And then there is the abuse from your relatives-"

Harry rolled his eyes at this angrily. The last thing he wanted right now was for people to start causing more trouble with the Dursleys, he got enough of that in the summer, hopefully he kind find a way to not go back there.

"What abuse?"

"Harry the Dursleys abuse is serious, it could partly be the reason your hear in the first place, also there could be an investigation into this" replied Healer Johnson

"You know as well I that kids can't get taken away from their guardians without solid proof of abuse or the kid confessing to it. You have neither" he said coldly. He knew that one from experience.

"The wizarding child protection laws are a lot stricter than the muggle ones. They have to because it's a lot easier for wizards or children to hide the abuse. The laws count for every wizarding child, pure bloods to muggle borns-"

"I'M NOT BEING ABUSED! Why do people keep fussing over me over nothing? My life is fine! You want to know who did have a shitty life? Sirius did. He grew up with a bunch of scum that hated him, at least I knew my _real _family liked me. He was then locked up in the worst place in the world for 13 years for something he didn't even do only to be let out for a few miserable years before I got him sent off to be killed" he yelled. He tried to keep himself under control but he couldn't stop his eyes from watering up.

Healer Johnson remained silent.

"And then there's Davy. He never had a chance, having to grow up with a deadbeat dad who couldn't even be bothered to show up to his own son's funeral. He was dead from the moment his mum left. His only friend in the end was the person who let him die" he said bitterly "Those people needed help, not me. I would have been one of them too if it wasn't for this scar. If I was just another normal kid you lot would have let me rot until I died and no one would have given a shit, just like Sirius and Davy" he finished his voice almost breaking.

This time Harry couldn't control some of the tears escaping.

There was a moments silence before Healer Johnson started speaking again

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

Harry, despite his anger, looked at her blankly

"You might have heard of it before. It's the prayer of serenity, a popular one for recovering addicts. You don't have to be religious to acknowledge it but it does hold a valuable meaning for many people in your situation"

Harry just glared at her angrily and she carried on before he had a chance to interrupt.

"It means that you have to accept that sometimes the situation is outside of your power. You couldn't have saved Davy. Even if you managed to get him to the hospital in time that day he probably would have overdosed again when you weren't there. As for Sirius... at the end of the day you were just a child, you shouldn't have been put in that position. Someone should have been looking out for you, not the other way round"

"Either way I got him killed, I sent him there" he said his voice finally breaking

"But from what I hear he wouldn't have even been alive of it wasn't for you in the first place"

Harry stayed silent and wiped his eyes on his sleeve

"What do you want to do Harry?"

He looked around the room fidgeting again trying to distract himself after his breakdown and said the only thing he could think of

"I want to go home. No, I wish I had a home I could just go to"

The healer smiled sadly

"How about back in the Gryffindor dorms? If you feel you're ready"

Harry looked at her quickly

"I thought you just said-"

"As long as you still come to me for our daily sessions and you continue to eat properly I don't see a problem with it. Believe it or not Harry you've made progress today"

Xxxxxx

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." Harry said out loud to himself looking up at the ceiling in the darkness.

It was now 11pm, a good few hours after his session with the Healer and he had those words stuck in his head. They made sense to him in a funny sort of way.

He sighed and rolled over in his hospital bed. He would be allowed to move back into the dorms tomorrow but only if he followed strict rules about eating and turning up to sessions. He was slightly nervous about the idea of going back into the halls of the school sober for the first time. He was starting to realise that all the drugs he had taken had left him with numerous blackouts during the last two terms. He couldn't remember what the hell he was studying in most of his subjects right now and he can't properly remember the last time he had spoken to some of his own dorm mates. That was another reason he was nervous too, he couldn't remember who was staying through the Christmas holidays this year so he didn't know whether he had to face anyone yet or not.

Xxxxxx

Harry packed the rest of his things into his trunk and waited for a house elf to come and take it away, back to the Gryffindor boy's dormitories. He had had his lunch already (under Madam Pomfrey's supervision) and was trying to read his transfiguration book to distract himself. He was going to have to work extra hard for the rest of the year now because apparently he didn't do that well on smack.

A cracking sound interrupted his thoughts where a house elf had appeared. He said good morning, clicked his fingers and went with the trunk.

"Well, looks like your free to go" said Madam Pomfrey kindly. She had been good to him during his stay.

"Yeah... err thanks for everything" he said sincerely

"It is my job Potter" she smiled "Are you okay going up on your own?"

Harry just nodded and made his way out of the hospital wing. It almost seemed surreal seeing the rest of the school after everything that had happened. It was exactly the same as before but it seemed different. He walked down the halls and only met a few people, who gave him some looks but otherwise left him alone. Harry had asked Healer Johnson what the rest of the school knew and she told him that no one really knew anything, a few rumours were going around that he was on acid (due to his behaviour, but that one had been going round for weeks now) but mostly a lot rumours that he was in some kind of accident and went back to the Dursleys for a while.

Harry walked up the common room door, said the password and entered. He saw that the common room was quite empty. There were a few younger years about and Harry noticed a guy from the 7th year he and Ella were friends with.

"Heya Potter, thought you were dead" he said across the common room and almost everyone turned around. That's when he noticed that Seamus and Dean were in the corner of the room looking at him with mild shock.

"No such look mate" he replied passively and continued up to the dormitories. He didn't have a clue what he was going to tell everyone about his 'episode' in the hospital wing and then his mysterious disappearance. He didn't even know how he would explain everything to Ron and Hermione.

Once he reached the top of the stairs and got into the dorms he felt a spark of relief. It may not be much to others but this is the closest he has ever had to home. Even with all the bad things that have happened in the school over the years. He went over to his trunk and started to unpack his things. He noticed himself in the mirror next to the door of the room and saw that he stilled looked kind of bad. His clothes were still pretty baggy on him and his eyes still have dark circles around them but he did look better than before the holidays. Just as he was thinking on whether to put a few minor glamour's on to make himself look less ill the bathroom door opened and out came Neville.

He looked shocked for a moment

"H-harry, I didn't know you were coming back early" he said

"I got bored" Harry said simply with a small smile and continued unpacking his things

"Oh-of course. Are you feeling okay? I heard there was an accident and-"

"I'm fine" said Harry with a forced smile "No accident, just ill. How are your holidays going?"

Neville smiled slightly.

"Good thanks..." he said tentatively. Harry wondered why Neville hadn't started going on about the latest plants he'd been growing in herbology when he realised that he had been acting weird for months now so Neville probably didn't even want to talk to him and that felt weird to harry. After all it was Neville who had helped Harry last summer in the department of mysteries.

"Hey Neville, sorry I was acting weird for the last couple of months, it's just with everything that had happened at the ministry and..."

"No, its fine" said Neville looking surprised "I mean I don't blame you..."

They both smiled semi awkwardly. Neville then went on to tell Harry about what had been going on during the last few weeks and who was here for Christmas and who wasn't. Harry slowly felt himself relax a bit. Hopefully things could go back to normal soon.

Xxxxxx

**A/N: **Hope you all liked this chapter :) Please review with any opinions, comments or suggestions for what happens next. Cya next update xxx

P.S hope you all had a good Christmas

**Reviewer comments**

Zana: Glad your enjoying it :)

bethy2-2: Thank you : ) I tried to put more in about Harry's addiction in this chapter, I agree that there needs to be more about it put in but I don't want Harry to relapse for now as I think those stories can get quite repetitive.

Konii: Thank you, I'm glad you think that :) I hope you think the same with this chapter, I tried to make it emotional but realistic at the same time

Moon-Princess-Serena1993 : Thank you and again sorry it took so long, I wish I had enough time to update more :/

DarkRavie: Thank you :) Hope you had a good holidays

Ex Mentis: I'm glad to hear it :) lol I didn't want harry to just be a good boy and do his counselling sessions without any trouble, its more fun this way. I do like the bill/harry stories but I don't really know anything about writing slash and it could limit the story's audience a lot, like I hate it when there's an amazing story line but then they have Harry dating Snape :/ But I do like the idea... Thanks for the review :)

Pj35: Sorry it took so long for an update :( My exams went well thank you :) But I'm already revising for the next lot, I'm going to try to update as much as I can but it probably won't be a lot until the summer, when I'm free again.

Love-To-Review: Thank you :) I love it when I find a good story online and I can't stop reading it. I did think about Lupin helping Harry but I kind of consider him a bit of a weak person, I don't think he's be strong enough to pull harry through his addiction but he is a good character for harry to relax with when he needs it. I do understand what you mean with Lupin though, he would probably understand the isolation but hes also different to harry as it seems like he had a good family and fairly stable background, which harry didn't have. Thank you again for the review and I hope you liked this chapter : )

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	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **No warnings for now

**A/N: **Again sorry for another late update. I've just had my end of year exams so I've been crazy busy with them. Thank you for all the great reviews! :) So happy people are enjoying this story, Enjoy!

**Hooked Chapter 22**

Being let out of the hospital wing early had still come at a price. Harry had to report to the wing every day after breakfast and dinner to have a check up, the latter also involved an hour session with Healer Johnson who would get him to talk about how he's dealing with everything and any cravings he's having etc. One thing he hated about these little daily meetings was when Madam Pomfrey would ask to see his wrists for any 'self inflicted cuts' which was complete rubbish and then would check him over for any glamour's he might of put up. The first time he had been asked to do this he was rather embarrassed and kind of angry. He hated that he was being as some whiny self harmer who has to be constantly watched in case he decides to top himself. But apparently this was on a list of checks Healer Johnson had created that she used on kids in situations like his. When he brought this to Healer Johnsons attention she said that they couldn't go back to trusting him completely for his own sake and that she and Madam Pomfrey were just trying to find the right balance of trust, and that self harming doesn't make someone a "whiny bitch", it makes them depressed and in need of release, similar to a drug a release. Harry thought checking his wrists was a waste of time, he never really thought he had properly self-harmed, just punched a few things, and even if he had and wanted to keep it up he wouldn't do it on a place so easily viewable such as his wrists. He brought that up with Healer Johnson too but quickly stopped when she suggested a full body search instead of just the wrists.

After a session mostly based on how Harry's cravings were and how he's feeling, the Healer brought up the Dursleys for the first time since Harry's outburst.

"Harry what I'm about to suggest is off the record as technically it's against rules" she said seriously as Harry looked at her curiously and she continued

"But before I do I need to know about the extent of the abuse you suffered at the Dursleys" she said and carried on when Harry looked like he was going to interrupt "I'm not getting into a debate on whether it happen or not, I'm not an idiot I know there was violence there. I just need to know how bad"

She gave him a few moments while he just raised his eyebrows and refused to say anything

"Was there any sexual abuse?" she asked calmly

"No" Harry replied frowning, creeped out by the thought.

The healer looked into his eyes checking for any signs of dishonesty. When she found none she continued

"In your childhood were you ever "injured" to the extent where you had to go to the hospital?"

"No" Harry replied simply. They probably wouldn't have taken him even if he did need it.

"Okay" said the healer looking very slightly relieved "Well in that case I would like to suggest that instead of pressing charges against the Dursleys and starting an investigation you don't go back to the Dursleys"

Harry raised his eyebrows

"I don't have to go back?"

"Well technically your 16 and you can legally move out at that age anyway" she replied

"Wait, why does this have to be 'off the record'" asked Harry

"Because I'm technically required to report any told illegal acts against my patients that are minors to the ministry. But in a lot of cases, like this one, there's just no point unless the crimes are really serious or without proof like hospital reports. Like you said yourself, there's no evidence here that would hold up in muggle or wizarding court. The best thing you can do is not go back there. Professor Dumbledore agrees and will make arrangements for next summer"

Harry still said nothing, this time due to shock

"You seem surprised" said Healer Johnson

"I am..." started Harry "I've always wanted to leave the Dursleys... and now suddenly I am... I never have to go back..."

He stared off to the wall with an unreadable expression trying to process everything

"How do you feel about it?" asked the Healer

"Good, obviously..." said Harry "It's just weird..."

"What is?"

"Being told I don't have to go back" replied Harry

There was a few moments silence again when Healer Johnson started to speak

"The rest of your friends will be returning tomorrow" she stated "Have you thought any more about what you're going to tell them?"

Over the last few days Harry had been thinking about that exact question and he still didn't know the answer. How was he supposed to tell his best friends everything that had happened in the last few months?

"Look you don't need to get worked up over this" started the Healer "Just tell them what your comfortable with and let the rest out over time. They should understand"

With that Harry left the office and started thinking about what the healer had just said. He highly doubted that Hermione and Ron would remotely understand as they were probably two of the most sheltered people he had ever met. They didn't know what it was like to have no parents, having to live with crazy relatives and to watch someone die. He honestly wished everyone would just forget about the last few months and leave him alone.

So far things hadn't been too bad in the castle. The Slytherins had been giving him some real weird looks along with quite a few people from other houses but seeing as the majority of the school were away for the holidays it wasn't really a big deal. He had spoke to Seamus and Dean a bit and they seemed to be okay with him but it was getting increasingly awkward as the days went by as they had to remind him of things he did while high. Only yesterday Harry had wondered out loud why a 7th year Hufflepuff was giving him evil looks and Dean had reminded him that it was because he threw a pudding plate at him after the 7th year called him bat shit crazy.

"Fair enough" Harry had said flippantly, he wasn't the one who started it.

"Yeah but he did only call you that after you and that Ella girl went swimming in the lake... in the middle of November..." Seamus had said curiously hoping that Harry would give some kind of explanation for his behaviour.

"Huh" hummed Harry only vaguely remembering the event while making a note to mention anything about people giving him weird looks again, at least not to Seamus and Dean.

This of course was another problem for Harry. He couldn't remember the last few months properly. His memories were all blurry and plagued with blackouts which according to Healer Johnson was normal but was still a pain. Meanwhile he was still finding it hard to sleep, although the length of time sleeping had improved he would have dreams of Davy and some of Sirius which would wake him up feeling sad and alone. The dreams mostly consisted of memories but there were some of him and Davy just talking like they usually would have last summer. Another reason he found it hard to sleep was because he couldn't distract himself from the withdrawal symptoms like he could in the day. The cravings were still definitely there, he was just waiting for them to go away completely which was seeming less and less likely.

Harry found himself already facing the common room door when he broke out of him thoughts. He paused for a few seconds and decided to turn around and head to the room of requirement. He didn't feel like being with people right at the moment. He got to the room which had transformed itself into a regular room with a few chairs and a fire place and a large window facing the west side of the grounds. He sat by the window staring out at it trying to ignore the heavy weight he felt pressing down on him.

Xxxxxx

Everyone had just arrived back to the castle after the 2 weeks Christmas holidays. Harry watched from the balcony all the multicoloured coats make their way through the front doors carrying their trunks and belongings into the warm castle. He lit up a cigarette out of habit and tried to look for Ron and Hermione in the crowd but he was too far up to see. He inhaled the smoke with slightly shaking hands and exhaled letting the calming effects take over. What he wouldn't do now for a spliff...

"Harry!" shouted and familiar voice and Harry turned round to see Ella walking up the corridor in a big white coat. She came up to him and gave him a hug.

"How did you get up here so fast?" asked Harry returning the hug slightly

"I came back earlier this morning, my dad took me in" she explained leaning against the wall looking over the balcony to where Harry's gaze was before

"So... How've you been?" asked Ella

"Okay I guess" said Harry shrugging

"You feeling any better?" she asked

"Suppose" he replied playing with his hands for a while like a child. He didn't feel remotely better when he thought about it.

"That's good..." she commented nodding. The good thing about Ella was she didn't let the awkwardness take over conversations, she managed to keep them at least fairly comfortable.

"Yeah, how about you? How's Switzerland at this time of year?" Harry asked

"Good, my brother Jordan got us some jet skis and charmed them to go twice their speed so most the holidays were spent doing that"

Harry gave a small laugh and carried on playing with his cigarette

"What happened that night?" asked Ella suddenly after a few minutes of silence

Harry looked at her

"What do you mean?" he asked

"Someone burst into the hospital wing one evening carrying your supposedly dead body then... I hear that Davy had died and..." she tailed off

"Well quite clearly I'm not dead" Harry said dully

"Thanks for clearing that one up for me boy wonder. I just want to know where I stand with you" she said simply

Harry considered her for a moment

"What exactly did Summer tell you?" asked Harry

"Just that Davy had died and you were pretty torn up about it... Why? What else happened?" asked Ella

Harry considered telling her the truth, or bits of the truth anyway, but he knew that that would mean that everything would become more real. He didn't know what he was going to do next, everything felt like it was out of his control. If he was to tell Ella the truth about his addiction and quitting then he would lose his last drinking partner and even partial drug dealer. He didn't know why this scared him, whether it was because he still had cravings or because he just wasn't ready for that yet.

"Nothing else happened. After Davy died I drank a little too much and some idiots thought I was dead. Clearly they haven't had too much muggle experience" said Harry

"Muggles do seem to drink way more than wizards" said Ella smiling "So you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, just need some time to get sorted out" said Harry vaguely

"Okay... well I'll see you later cutie" she said and skipped off

Harry sighed and was about to make his way to the common room when his phone started to ring. He looked at the caller ID and saw Summers name.

"Hello?" he answered

"Hey! Harry! Oh my days I've been trying to reach you for ages!" said Summer excitedly

"Bad reception" Harry shrugged off "What's happened?"

"Well I was talking to my friend Louise, you know that brown haired girl that grew up a few houses down from me, the latina one that works down at the Uni?" asked Summer quickly

"The one that has a couch outside her house or the one that took her top off at Lucy's?" asked Harry trying to remember

"Same girl" she replied quickly and Harry frowned

"Anyway" she continued "we were talking about how things were going and she was telling me how her dad got arrested again, her brother running away and her sisters divorce and-"

"Err Summer I'm kind of in a hurry, can we skip to the end?" interrupted Harry not seeing where this was going

"How would you like to go to Brazil?" she blurted out

"What?" asked Harry pausing mentally

"Well as I was saying Louise has a villa in Brazil, really nice place on the coast. It's empty right now because her sister, who was looking after it, has just got divorced and ran off with some guy to California. Louise can't go over there because too many things are happening here and she'd prefer it if someone was looking over it so it would be practically free!"

"Brazil?" said Harry still confused trying to get his head round what Summer was asking "I don't know if I can... When are you going?"

"ASAP, tonight probably. Lucy's on some sort of nurses study leave and remember that guy Jack? He has some mates there he wants to see so he'll be staying too"

Harry remembered Jack. He was an okay guy, he was good friends with Summer and Harry never remembered him doing any drugs or anything similar so that wasn't a problem however Brazil was practically cocaine capital if you excluded Columbia and Mexico... Harry froze. He was actually considering this... he was considering running away for a holiday after only being back for a few days-

"Harry! What d'you think?" asked Sumer Happily

"Let me get back to you" he said quickly and hung up

Harry pace back the balcony, his heart racing. He couldn't run off half way round the world now! He was behind enough on his school work as it is. But even as he was thinking this he remembered the £500 cash in the room of requirement rolled up in a vase. £500 could get him a ticket, once he was there maybe he could get a job or something after all students do it all the time. Harry shock his head, what was he thinking? It was the most random idea in the world yet here he is thinking about it, running off to Brazil. What would Ron and Hermione say? What would Dumbledore or even Lupin do? 'But neither of them ever cared before' said a voice in his head, none the order cared about what's best for him, so Harry figured he didn't owe them anything... and he had already done so much for them...

It was at that moment that Harry realised that he wasn't just thinking about a holiday, he was thinking about leaving completely.

Xxxxxx

Dumbledore looked out the window watching the sun set in the sky, it was only 4pm but it the usual for an English winter.

"Your thoughts headmaster" came the dull voice of Professor Snape

Dumbledore turned back to the man sitting across from him and sighed.

"There is no chance that you can convince Voldemort otherwise?" Dumbledore half asked half stated

"He stabbed Lucius in the chest with a needle. Not to mention his son along with several others of the death eaters have been front row witnesses to his delinquent behaviour in the last few months" he replied icily

"The dark lord knows he's weak at the moment" Snape carried on when Dumbledore didn't say anything

"Do you know what he is planning to do?" asked the headmaster calmly

"The dark lord doesn't think I need to know as of yet but from what I have gathered he will be planning an attack directed at Potter and soon"

"He is risking our whole set up" said Snape suddenly when once again Dumbledore had failed to say anything "You said it yourself. A chain is as strong as its weakest link and right now its Potter. Potter is the Dark lords way back into glory and we're doing nothing to prevent it"

"Severus, while I understand your fears _you _must understand he is just a child, I can't lock him away from the world and use him like weapon, that would do more harm than good. If Voldemort does go ahead with whatever he is planning we will be ready. There are all sorts of measures we have already taken to protect him but for now he is safe"

Xxxxxx

"Hey" said Harry quietly into the boys dormitory

There were only two occupants in the room, Ron and Hermione who were unpacking and talking but froze at the sight of Harry.

"Harry!" said Hermione and she seemed to hesitate for a moment before running up to him to give him a hug "How are you?"

"I'm okay" smiled Harry

"Good to hear it mate" said Ron giving him a brief one armed hug

"Oh Harry we were so worried but you're looking great!" exclaimed Hermione

"Thanks" replied Harry again smiling sitting down of his bed opposite Ron

An awkward silence settled in the room. It was a good start so far Harry thought, they didn't seem to be angry at him.

"Listen I-"

"Harry you don't have to tell us anything if you're not ready, I mean Remus explained a lot of it and although we can't relate to what you've been through, we do understand. We just wish you told us about it" said Hermione softly with almost pleading eyes while Ron looked seriously at Harry

"Thanks" repeated Harry for the third time "It's not that I don't trust you guys, obviously I do after everything we've been through"

"We know" said Ron sincerely "You've got to trust the guy who leads you into a secret chamber with a giant murderous snake" he added with a laugh

"Memories" replied Harry not knowing whether to have a more serious conversation with the two or head onto a lighter subject for now. He chose the latter.

"So, how was your holidays?"

"Okay" replied Hermione "Very busy with all the order members coming and going"

"Yeah nothing interesting really happened, unless you count Fred and George blowing up the old muggle tool shed"

"Bet your mum loved that" said Harry

"What about you? I heard you were staying in the hospital wing?" asked Hermione looking at his school trunk

"Yeah I got out a few days ago, just have to have regular checkups with Madam Pomfrey"

"A few days ago? And you still haven't unpacked? How is it that you and Ron are so lazy" replied Hermione rolling her eyes while Ron gave a small laugh

"Actually I'm not unpacking. That's partly why I came up to talk to you guys" started Harry reluctantly. Ron and Hermione just looked at him to continue

"I don't know whether I'm going to be staying at Hogwarts, for now at least" said Harry carefully trying to read Ron and Hermione's faces

"What do you mean?" asked Ron

"I've been given an opportunity for a break abroad for a while. South America actually"

"But... Who with? Whose idea was this?" asked Hermione

"One of my muggle friends knows someone, it was her idea" said Harry

Hermione looked at him blankly

"South America... But Harry you've only just come back and recovered, I don't get it Harry, you can't just leave" said Hermione getting worked up.

Harry stayed silent for a while thinking

"I just need to get away for a while, to review things, to get a clearer perspective on everything. The last few years have gone so fast and so much has happened and I haven't had time to understand it all. I spent the first 11 years of my life being the 'disturbed nephew' of crazy relatives and spent the next 5 years being labelled and judged for something I can't even remember and then being bossed around for it"

"The prophecy..." said Hermione

"That's part of it... I just need to be away, by myself outside of other peoples influences and decide what to do"

"You're not running away are you?" asked Ron

"I doubt Voldemort would let me even if I tried. But for now I can't do anything about him" Harry replied softly

"When are you leaving?" asked Hermione quietly

"Tonight"

Hermione looked around not knowing what to do or say

"What about school work? Your sessions with the Healer? Are you even ready to leave by yourself?"

"I can catch up in the summer at worst, Healer Johnson has done about as much as she can and I'll be under heavy supervision from my friends. She swore to not let me out of her sight. Hermione, this isn't coming from a destructive place, that's why I came to see you guys first. I couldn't just pack up and leave without saying good bye"

Hermione considered this for a minute

"What about Dumbledore or the order? What did they say about this?" asked Hermione

"I've written him a letter. Dumbledore's just the headmaster of the school, he can't after 11 years suddenly start butting in my life when he feels like it. He arranges my whole life yet won't tell me a damn thing about anything. I know it's his job and he's probably just looking out for me but..."

"Harry you can't leave without him knowing. What about death eaters? You know who?" asked Hermione

"I'll lay low and I'm travelling the muggle way, Voldemort won't know how to trace that" said Harry

"But-"

"Hermione let him go" said Ron suddenly

"What?"

"Its Harry's choice and he has a point. He's never had a choice in this" said Ron looking at Harry "As long as he writes to us every week and sends us some souvenirs" he added giving Harry a pointed look

"Of course" replied Harry but Hermione still looked unconvinced

"I guess you can't even tell us where abouts in South America your going?" asked Hermione

Harry shuck his head with a sad smile. It would take 2 seconds for Dumbledore or even death eaters to get the location off one of them through Occlumency

"What if there's an emergency?" asked Hermione

"Just ring me. You have the number. You could also trace me again" added Harry with a small smile

Hermione gave a slight guilty smile at this but still looked very unsure about the idea yet she had to admit there was no denying the points he had made. A holiday could do him some good.

"Okay..." she said reluctantly and Harry gave her a small hug

"You're not leaving now are you?" asked Ron

"I still don't have to leave for an hour or two. Fancy a game of exploding snap?"

Just like that it was as though the 3 were back in their 1st year again, gossiping about the latest rumours of the professors in the castle, Filches ever extending banned items list, Snape's hate of Gryffindors and Peeves latest pranks. For the first time in the last year or so the war and Harrys conflict seemed to be forgotten.

Xxxxxx

**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed the chapter, this one took a while for me to write and figure out. I feel like if this was real life Harry would need a break away from everything after all that happened. I also didn't want Harry to have to sit there and explain everything to Ron and Hermione because I think that would have gotten messy and boring, in real life I feel like in this situation information would come out slowly over time.

I was thinking about the next chapter being the last one. I want to end this story while its still good instead of dragging it on and it becoming stupid or boring like many stories do. So I was wondering if anyone had any ideas about how things should end and what should be explained or included in the end.

**Please review with any suggestions or just comments**

**Review comments**

** DarkRavie: **Thank you :) glad your not finding it boring yet :P

** Ex Mentis: **Yeah I like bill/harry too, I just wouldn't know how to write it. Glad your liking the story so far :) Hopefully you'll like it to the end

** Moon-Princess-Serena1993: **Thanks :)

** Love-To-Review: **Thank you, I'm really glad your enjoying it so much :) I hope you liked this chapter with Ron and Hermione, there wasn't a lot of explaining but I feel like in real life there wouldn't have been. I'll also try reading that story you suggested about Lupin when I have time.

** bethy2-2: **Thank you :) I'm glad its emotional, otherwise it would be boring and I'm glad your finding it realistic too :) I think drug addicts do feel that love hate thing with drugs, it isn't just black and white

** ZippyStar: **Thank you :) glad your enjoying it

** Lauraw18: **Thanks :) I hope you liked the meeting with Ron and Hermione in this chapter, it was a hard one to write

** Dark Neko 4000: **Thanks for the review

** .153: **Thank you :) glad your enjoying it so much

** hmwswim: **Thank you :) I'm so glad your enjoying the story so much and your still finding it interesting. Sorry its taken so long to update! I will definitely finish this story, I'll try not to leave it too long to the next update

** Joleigh13: **Thank you so much lol :) I love it when you find a story you spend all day reading, I'm glad my story is that to you. I'm happy your finding it realistic too, I hate some of the stories out there that are completely unrealistic so I've tried hard for it not to be.

** Steph230:** Thanks :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter

**Warnings: **Drug abuse, Bad language

**IMPORTANT A/N!: **This is likely to be the last chapter! Thank you so much to the people who have read, subscribed, reviewed and favourited this story :) I have really loved writing it :) I decided to end this story before it got boring and started to drag on and this was probably the only way I could think to end it.

Another note I'd like to make is that I read the whole story again and decided to edit past chapters. Nothing major has changed its just I felt like the earlier chapters weren't written that well as this was my first ever fan fiction.

Sorry again that this took so long to get done, I've had a crazy year so I've only really had time now it's the summer holidays.

I hope you enjoy….

**Hooked **

**Chapter 23**

It was way past seven when the sun started to set and sink behind the masses of rock and sand. It set a bright orange glow over the whole sky. After about half an hour it would die down slightly giving way to a blue sky which after another half hour would give a darker almost purple glow over the desert and mountains. This was why sunset was Harry's favourite time of the day, especially in the mountains just off Tijuca Forrest in Brazil. Its a sight that you can't get anywhere else in the world. Even once the sun had completely gone you were left with a beautifully clear dark sky which was lit up by millions of stars scattered about.

Harry flicked the end of his cigarette and continued to watch the suns progress in silence. He can vaguely hear summer and Jack unpacking some supply's from the blue pick-up truck they came in which was parked a few hundred feet away. This was the second time this week they had decided to sleep outside under the stars in this particular location. Apparently watching the sun set and rise was something all tourists visiting Rio just had to do and after reluctantly coming a few weeks ago Harry had rather enjoyed it. However instead of getting up at some ridiculous time in the morning to travel and watch the sun come up they had decided to stay over and go back to sleep after the event.

Calming moments like these were perfect for reflection, which in Harry's case is a good thing and a bad thing. It was good to reflect on how he could change his life for the better, like not getting wasted on smack, but the bad thing was the more he reflected on his life back in England, the more he just didn't want to go back. He had shared this thought with Lucy about a week into his holiday, "Everyone thinks that when they're on holiday, it's just because you have no responsibilities here or pressure, but it will catch up with you eventually and you can't keep running forever" she had said which Harry thought pretty much nailed his situation on the head. Voldemort wasn't going to just stop chasing Harry, there was a prophecy to back that one up, and Harry figured it could go either way when it came to the dark Vs the light, he doesn't know how much an effect him being there will have.

Harry had been here 3 weeks now and neither the Order nor Dumbledore have tried to interfere or bring him home. Harry played with the idea that maybe it was because they _couldn't _trace him or find a way to contact him as the only communication he had been using was muggle texting using a blocked number to Hermione's phone; this way he knew Voldemort wouldn't be able to trace him at all. However Harry thought it was more likely because Dumbledore hasn't tried to track him down, almost like he understood he needed some space alone. Harry still doesn't know whether he hates the man or respects him.

"Hey jackass! Fancy helping us with all this crap?" shouted Summer bringing him out of his thoughts.

He walked down the small rocky hill and took some of the pans and water of Summer who was juggling sleeping backs and pieces of wood.

"You still with us mate?" asked Jack squinting up at Harry with the evenings last bit of sunlight shining in his face

"Yeah yeah, just enjoying the peace before you lot arrived" Harry replied

"Great. Next time you can carry all this junk up this giant hill" panted Lucy

"Come on Luce it's about a meter high" said Jack laughing

Jack had actually been fairly good company considering he was friends with about every smack head on Westhill estate. He was a very down to earth, nice guy. He sort of reminded Harry of Davy a bit, except Jack didn't have any obvious mental health problems and he seemed to like reality a lot more than Davy. Harry wished he could feel the same but he wasn't quite there yet. He felt like he was waiting for something to come along and make him want to rejoin the rest of the world but so far he had nothing.

"Okay Jack you start the fire, me and summer will cook and Harry you can try get the radio working, all its getting now is static and some BBC shit" said Lucy getting everything they had brought out and onto the sandy floor.

Jack started arranging bits of wood and stone onto the ground while Harry fiddled with the radio trying to get anything that even resembled music.

"You know Surry got hit with 7 inches of snow last night? Glad I'm away from all that noise" said Jack throwing a match onto the wood.

"You don't like the snow?" asked Harry extending the antenna of the radio picking up a few stations, mostly in Spanish.

"Not since the age of 7. It's a half hour drive to college, I can hardly drive as it is let alone in snow" replied Jack "Hey! Stone Roses! I haven't heard this stuff in ages" said Jack as some soft rock music started playing on the radio

"Never heard of them" said Harry

"How have you never heard of the Stone roses?"

"Dunno, never listened to much music"

"That's cultural ignorance" said Jack shaking his head

"To be fair I only heard of them because of my brother" Summer piped in

"Still... You do know who our prime minister is don't you?" asked Jack

"I know there's two of them" replied Harry deadpanned. He enjoyed winding Jack up.

Jack face palmed "I don't think I can carry on with this conversation" while Lucy laughed.

Harry started to wonder if muggle borns had the same problem as him. By being raised in two different cultures it started to feel like he didn't belong to either. He didn't really understand muggle or wizard references besides the basics. Part of that was probably due to him being a bit of an isolated child due to the Dursleys but surly other muggle borns must feel the same way too?

Summer and Lucy went on to make a stir fry for the small group and Harry got out some bottles of Corona to share for the night. The 2nd day of being in Brazil was when Harry had first drunk alcohol since Davy died. He was cautious as he didn't know where he should draw the line when it came to drugs and alcohol but he found out, however, that as long as he stuck to a beer or two he was okay and so was the rest of the group. Harry was a bit surprised at this as Summer and Lucy used to drink a ton vodka and similar stuff too, but looking back over the last few months he now noticed that they had started to tone it down a lot while he had been going off the scale.

In terms of craving's he was doing okay too. The first few nights in Brazil had been a bit uncomfortable as the last few of the withdrawal symptoms had been amplified slightly by the heat and humidity. However he found that the peace and quiet and then all the distractions Brazil had to offer did him the world of good by getting his mind off the headaches and tiredness. This holiday had definitely been a good idea. He's felt calmer than he has in years and had started to feel slightly healthier mentally if that was even possible for him.

By the time they started eating the sun had already set and the sky was dark and the Stone roses had switched to the Smiths.

"So... how much longer are we planning to escape from English weather?" asked Summer as she finished her first beer "Because I'm thinking of waiting it out till April... Maybe May"

"I'm sure school will love that" said Lucy "Jack when do you have to go back?"

"2 weeks ago" he replied "They think I've had my appendix out"

Lucy frowned while the others laughed "Don't you have exams in January?"

"I did them early last summer so I had time to re-sit if I needed too" Jack replied

"Hmm what about you Harry?" asked Lucy

"I don't really know" said Harry thoughtfully "I don't know if they'll even let me go back"

"What did you do?" asked Jack smiling

"This and that" said Harry vaguely "I like Summer's idea of waiting things out though" though Harry didn't know if it was possible to wait out an immortal power hungry psychopath.

"Yeah, think I could live here for at least another 4 months" replied Lucy

After a while the radio stopped playing music and started talking instead and was turned down and the group started to get in their sleeping bags and pillows. The rest of the group slowly went to sleep while Harry was left to continue thinking about his return to England. One good thing would was Ron and Hermione would be pleased to see him. But what about the Order? He had caused a fair amount of trouble for them while they had been trying to protect him and fight death eaters. Harry doubted that they would be pleased to see him again at all, especially after this little retreat. He looked up at the stars and tried to listen to the soft hum of the radio to try and lull him to sleep.

"... fire has supposedly killed 9 people while several others have been seriously injured. London officials have yet..."

Harry perked up and turned towards the radio sitting about 2 meters away from him. They had always had the radio on quietly, usually BBC world which was the only connection, while sleeping up here as the others who had grown up on a busy estate found it difficult to sleep in such silence that was offered in the desert.

"...don't know how the fire was started last night or how many other people are injured. The disaster that happened in the KPJL offices located just opposite Parliament is so far being considered by an accident despite many believing due to its location an attack against the British government by Taliban activists..."

Harry leaned back down into his sleeping bag with a heavy feeling in his chest. Unknown causes, lots of muggles dead next a famous muggle land mark. Could Voldemort be behind this? Death eaters were the ones that destroyed the millennium bridge, he learned that much from Tonks in the Summer at the Weasley's so the chances of this also being death eater related was possible... but things like this happen all the time anyway, Harry tried to reason with himself, before Voldemort tons of things happened like murder and natural disasters, none of them were wizard related.

But could he risk that? Every time something suspicious happens and some muggle (or not in Emmeline Vance's case) gets hurt there will always be that little bit of doubt, that Voldemort was behind it and that he could have even prevented it from happening.

Now the radio had started playing some drama about Americans in the civil war. Harry realised he didn't have much of a choice. He would have to go back.

Xxxxxx

He only found out the old mans plan purely by accident. He had already lost his 1st because of Lucius Malfoys' stupidity, however, when he found out about this loss he now realised that he should have started preparing for Dumbledore interference rather than taking out his anger on Malfoy. It would be foolish of him to say that Dumbledore was stupid man but he would admit he was surprised to see his ancestors ring, on the mans' withered hand, with a huge crack down the middle. That made 2 gone.

Immediately he had gone to check the other locations and made sure his pieces were safe. All except the diadem which would be difficult to retrieve at this time. However for now he decided they were not safe in their current location and they should be moved, closer to him, where no one would be foolish nor skilled enough to approach.

"I have to say I am disappointed Bellatrix" he finally announced to the room.

Six faces looked up to him in the dark room of the Malfoy Mansion. His most loyal followers.

"It's been almost 3 weeks and I have yet to receive the possessions I left in _your_ safety". His 4th piece.

"My lord, we have tried! But the security at the goblins bank will not allow us to remove anything from the vaults" said Bellatrix with a slight nervous hysteria edge to her voice.

"I did not ask" he replied coldly and the air in the room seemed to freeze

"But I will give you another week. Do not disappoint me again" he threatened

"Thank you lord" replied Bellatrix with sincerity and bowed and stood back

"You may all now leave" he said and his death eaters all bowed and started to make their way out of the room

"Except you Severus" he called out and the 2nd figure from the right paused slowly made his way back to the bottom steps of his standing.

"My Lord" said Snape with no emotion

Voldemort regarded Snape for a moment before speaking

"Have you any more information on Potter?"

"He is still believed to be ill and staying in a secure location while in a vulnerable state. Nothing life threatening supposedly" Snape replied carefully

"And any new details on the location of the boy?"

"No my lord, the person holding him seems to not be directly involved with the Order so he is difficult to track" replied Snape

Voldemort regarded him again before replying

"Very well Severus, keep me informed on the situation"

Xxxxxx

Harry spent the next 2 days packing all his stuff that was scattered around the small house he had been staying in the last few weeks. He was still finding socks and shirts in the most remote places by the end of the second day and was surprised at how comfortable he and the others had become here in Brazil. The villa they were staying in wasn't fancy and was on a hill lined up with other little villa's which were mostly filled with locals and the odd tourists. When Harry sat on the front step of the house he got a great view of the beach and the town they had been staying in.

"You know there's still snow back home?" asked Summer staring at him from the front door

"Yeah, I figured" replied Harry with a small smile

"Why don't you stay for just a bit longer? Just until the temperature over there gets over 5 degrees?" asked Summer also smiling

"You know we'll be lucky if that even happens by March" said Harry.

Summer came down from the steps and sat on a small stone plant pot that had been turned upside down. She looked down at the ground as though contemplating what to say then looked at Harry again.

"Why do you want to go back?" she asked

"Can't stay here forever" replied Harry lightly

"No I mean after everything that's happened over the last few months and from the sound of it the last few years. I swear anyone else would have called it quits for the rest of the year and start again somewhere else" said Summer unblinking

"What do you mean?" asked Harry frowning

"This school you go to for starters, why do you want to go back? You've been through a lot, why don't you drop out this year and sort things out then start fresh at a new place in September. Why do you keep forcing yourself to go back to this place? You obviously don't like it"

Harry felt a twinge where his scar was and looked away for a second squinting in the bright afternoon sun.

"I don't really have a choice" he finally replied. And he was being honest. It's not as though he could suddenly sign up for muggle education now and the thought of him going to another wizarding school was ridiculous.

"You really mean that don't you?" said Summer sincerely "Though I don't know why the hell you do, you sound like a little orphan boy who's about to be sent to work in the mines"

"Well, one out two" said Harry smirking

"Whatever" said Summer rolling her eyes "Why are guys so stubborn?"

Harry just laughed in response

"But seriously, just don't push yourself. You don't want to go back to bad habits" said Summer soberly

"Yeah I know" replied Harry not looking at Summer.

"Anyway, tell use when you're gonna go so we can see you off" she said brightly

"Will do" replied Harry smiling again "Flight is at 7pm, got to get going at 3:30 ish"

"That gives us enough time to go swimming!"

"You can't really swim in that pool" replied Harry

"Yeah but its deep enough to push jack in" said Summer dashing back into the house. Harry smiled and joined her knowing that he might not get to spend time with the group again for a long time after he left.

Xxxxxx

15 hours later Harry had arrived at Heathrow airport and was making his way back through London towards Grimmauld place. Harry figured that his safest bet was to take muggle transportation back in case anyone recognised him and it would have to be Sirius's old house as sneaking into Hogwarts could cause some alarm. He had quickly left the airport with his hood up grabbing bus timetables from tourist information on his way and managed to make his way slowly through the morning rush hour traffic of London. It was still snowing here, just like Summer had said. He enjoyed the long bus journeys back watching everyone making their way to work in rush hour, this would be as much peace as he would get for a long time.

It was almost 10 in the morning by the time Harry found himself ringing the bell next to the door of Number 12 Grimmauld place. This would be his first visit since Sirius had died. As he waited he looked around the long road and the small gated green that was centred between the square of houses. He had been very careful making his way up to the house. He had put on his invisibility cloak in an alley about a 2 miles back and walked his way here, trying to avoid areas of snow so he wouldn't leave foot prints behind. Just as Harry was starting to wonder whether Grimmauld Place was still occupied by the order, the door opened and he was relieved to see Remus's face through the gap in the door.

"Harry?" asked Remus his eyes wide open in shock

"Hi" replied Harry as casually as he could. He still hadn't really thought about what he was supposed to say to the Order after his little unscheduled holiday.

"What are you…? Get in quickly" he said moving out the way to let Harry in.

As soon as Harry was in the house and the door was firmly closed Remus spun round held up his wand to Harry's chest.

"What form does your patronus take?" he asked

"Stag" replied Harry calmly

Remus still looked a bit wary but began to lower his wand slightly

"I think we should try some veritaserum before we let him any further" said a loud gruff voice from behind Harry making him jump out of his skin

"No, I think it's him" said Remus sounding more sure of himself. He looked over Harry as though inspecting him for damage

"Come on, let's get you down to the kitchen before anyone else finds out your back" he said finally

Xxxxxx

An hour later found Harry, Remus, Mad Eye and Tonk's sitting in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Harry had partially explained why he went and where and they had partially explained what was going on with Voldemort at the moment. It turns out Dumbledore did tell the order to back off a bit and that Harry should be safe if he was out the country and stayed on muggle territory.

"At least you let us know you were safe" sighed Remus eventually

"Yeah, using muggle technology could be a good idea right now. Deatheaters won't be able to mess with it, they won't even know what it is" replied Harry

"It is a thought but we're more concerned with what we're going to do with you now" said Remus "Voldemort is suspicious of your whereabouts"

Harry's scar seemed to twitch in pain at the mention of Voldemort. This along with the words Hogwarts, death eaters and Dumbledore. Even just thinking about those thinks seemed to trigger a physical reaction. He remembered Lucy talking about the psychology behind migraines and something about classical conditioning and pain. He thought it was more likely that he'd just taken too much drugs and had given himself a bit of brain damage…

"Harry?" asked Lupin getting him out of his trance

"Hermione said people thought I was ill and staying in hospital for a while" replied Harry

"Yes, that's what the students at Hogwarts think but Voldemort knows better. He knows you weren't at Saint Mungo's and he knows you weren't in the country. He thinks your weak at the moment and he wants to take advantage of that" said Remus seriously

"You think that if I go back to Hogwarts, or anywhere really, he's going to try and attack while I'm still 'weak'?" asked Harry catching on quickly

"That's the basic idea, yes" said Tonk's "But we're not 100% sure yet. All we know is that he's been very curious about your recent activity"

"So I may not be able to go back to Hogwarts?" asked Harry

"We'll have to discuss it with Dumbledore, but for now you can stay here until we sort it out" said Remus standing up to put away the empty cups they'd been drinking from

"We need to be going to" said Mad eye sanding up "Dumbledore should be here in half an hour to see the boy"

"See ya later Harry" said Tonks waving to him as they went up the stairs

Remus continued with the dishes while Harry just stared around the cluttered room, too tired to think anymore. Remus shut the final cupboard door and turned around to look at Harry.

"It's weird being back in this place" he said, answering Lupins unasked question with a surprisingly emotional and open expression.

"Yeah, it is" answered Remus simply and let the silence take over

Xxxxxx

It turns out Harry was allowed to go back to Hogwarts. He and Dumbledore had had a brief meeting with Lupin and everything seemed to be okay and he could return as early as tomorrow morning if he wanted to. However this wasn't why he was currently struggling to get to sleep in the small bedroom he and room shared last year in Grimmauld's place. After everyone seemed to be happy with Harry going back to school, Dumbledore had asked to have a word with him in private.

"I sense something is troubling you" he stated in his serene manor as soon as Lupin had left the room "I feel like before you return to Hogwarts it would be better if we could talk them through, rather than letting them escalate into the year"

Had anyone else said this Harry would have taken offence at the ending sentence but he knew what Dumbledore meant. And he knew it was probably a good idea to talk to him before going back to Hogwarts.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing" said Harry honestly after Dumbledore said nothing else. "I don't know whether I'm supposed to be the one to kill Voldemort or whether I'm just supposed to… I don't know, help out occasionally or something. Its like I'm just sitting here just waiting for something to happen"

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to" said Dumbledore simply

"What about the prophecy?" asked Harry

"The prophecy stated that neither may live while the other survives, quite clearly this is untrue as you are both living at the moment" he replied

"Yes, what about the bit before that?" asked Harry trying not to roll his eyes "and either must die at the hand of the other?"

"Harry, what you must understand is that prophecies meanings are vague and usually hold very unpredictable results. As you already know Neville Longbottom could have been the one sitting here in your place, he fit the prophecy just as much as you did, yet Voldemort choose you and in doing that we have had the events that have lead upto today. But suppose he choose Neville, would things have gone completely differently?" asked Dumbledore

"I don't know" Harry had said confused

"Neither do I" said Dumbledore simply "What I'm saying Harry is that you do have a choice, just like Voldemort did all those years back despite the prophecy. The meanings are more metaphorical than literal"

"So your saying that I don't have to anything? I don't have to kill Voldemort?" Harry asked, surprised at how much lighter the thought seemed to make him feel. He had always thought it would have to be him, there never seemed to be any other option.

"No, you don't. In a way you have already carried out parts of the prophecy. You have thwarted Voldemort a number of times and have saved lives during this, you have gone above and beyond what has been expected of you" Dumbledore had said kindly "The question is, do you want to be the one to kill Voldemort?" with that Dumbledore stood up to leave

Harry tried to think about it, he really did. But all his mind seemed to focus on was why he left Brazil where all's he had to worry about was getting sun burn. He could have been walking to the beach right now for lunch or going through the city centre with Summer and Lucy talking about how bad the weather is back home and watching the snow pictures on the news…

"Professor!" Harry said quickly before the man left the room "The attack in London a few days ago, on the offices by Parliament, did death eaters do it?"

Dumbledore turned around with a slightly surprised look on his face at the question

"I'm afraid it's not just our people who are at war Harry. There's been no evidence to suggest Voldemort was behind it"

And with that he left. As usual Dumbledore had left Harry even more confused than he was to begin with. As he carried on trying to clear his mind of thoughts to try and get to sleep he wondered what it was like to have a simple life.

Harry slowly sank to sleep and decided to settle with memories and thoughts of Davy and everyone back in summer. Usually these thoughts would have made him upset and angry but now it was more of a sentimental feeling, and it was a lot better than thinking about everything he would be facing when he went back to Hogwarts. He remembered Davy and Lucy getting out of their minds dancing in the old park. Another fond memory was sitting on the roof of some old building in Westhill industrial just sober enough to see the sun rise, like they did in Brazil, or watch the lights of cars and buildings move around at night. The darkness seemed so calming, it seemed to enhance the floating feelings he would get when he was high and make him peacefully drowsy. He remembered Davy standing up near the edge of the building and looking out at the sky and talking softly.

"I have retrieved it my lord" came a voice in front of him

He looked up quickly to see the night sky and open setting change to one of unsettling familiarity. He was face to face with Bellatrix Lestrange and she was handing him a small black box. The calmness he had been feeling went as quickly as his memory did and was replaced with eagerness and almost happy feeling.

He nodded at her and she fell back in line with a circle of people in black robes and hoods. He opened the box and examined the piece given to him in his pale hands. A small golden cup. His 4th Horcrux was safe.

"You done well Bellatrix. You may all now leave" he said to his followers without another glance.

Different rooms seemed to flash before him before a similar dark room stood before him. He approached a wall glided through it like it was only liquid.

This was where he would keep them all safe. He placed the cup on the table with several other items. He could sense Nagini's eyes on him from glass in front of the room. This wouldn't be permanent. Once Dumbledore was dead no one else would know his secret. His remaining Horcruxes were now secure.

Harry shot up in his bed in Grimauld place, sweating, out of breath and a strong stabbing pain in his scar. He turned on the small light on his bedside table and let himself fall back down on his pillow and look around the room. Well, at least he knew the pain wasn't psychological anymore.

Xxxxxx

It was late Monday evening when Dumbledore found himself in another meeting except this time with Snape.

"Are you sure Severus?" he asked seriously

"Am I sure about what?" asked Snape impatiently

"Of the contents Bellatrix handed Voldemort" replied Dumbledore ignoring Snape's slight twitch at the name

"Yes. It was a small black box. I don't know what was inside or what exact value it had to the dark lord but he was very pleased to receive it" said Snape curtly

"And she got it from her vaults at Gringotts?"

"Yes, from what I gather it was not easy"

Dumbledore contemplated this for a moment before falling back into his usual pensive state

"I think that is all for tonight" he said finally

"You don't have any idea what was in that box?" asked Snape not so keen to leave yet

"I have no idea" said Dumbledore honestly "But I'm sure his plans will come to light eventually" he carried on as though reciting the weather

Snape nodded and stood up about to leave

"Harry will be returning tomorrow" said Dumbledore just before he was about for reach for the door

"So the boy finally decided to finish his holiday? How novel of him" said Snape icily

"I hope you will be not too harsh on the boy Severus" Dumbledore said ignoring Snape's tone.

Snape didn't reply and left the headmasters office leaving Dumbledore to think about his next steps.

Xxxxxx

Eventually Harry had gotten back to sleep after his vision and woke up early the morning and got changed into his uniform and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked his best in months but he still was a bit on the thin side and it seemed to show on his face. His eyes still had a few dark circles but after 3 weeks in Brazil he was no longer pale. Weirdly his scar had been fine since he got back to sleep after his dream. It didn't look any different on him and he felt fine at the moment. It was like he had a disease bubbling under his skin waiting to rise to the surface. Strangely similar to how addicts describe their addictions.

After much thinking he decided he would not tell anyone about his vision unless it got any worse. Harry didn't want to do occlumency with Snape and he didn't want people worrying about him and thinking he's even more delicate than he is. Right now it wasn't a huge problem and he'd handled this before and knew what to expect now.

He went down stairs to the kitchen where he found just Bill and Remus talking

"Harry, you want any breakfast?" asked Lupin as soon as he saw him nudging a large plate of toast towards him

Harry took a few slices and sat back

"You gonna tell us where you went on holiday then? Must have been hot, I didn't think you could even get a tan" asked Bill smiling

"South America" replied Harry smirking "Hey Bill, why do gingers sunburn so easily?"

"Don't even finish that joke kid, my feelings can't take it" replied Bill mockingly "Yeah, we all know its south America, we were just thinking you could limit down to one country" he joked

"We got around a bit" lied Harry easily. He hadn't told anyone more South America for his location in the last 3 weeks. He didn't know how easy it would be to track down any of his friends if he told them. Maybe he was just being paranoid.

"You all packed?" asked Lupin

"Yup, how am I getting there again?"" asked Harry

"You can floo into professor McGonagall's office in about half an hour at break time. Your professors also insist that you must go straight back to all your lessons today to catch up"

"Yeah okay" replied Harry trying not to think about the amount of work he has to catch up on

About 30 minutes later Harry was standing by the fireplace saying his goodbyes to Bill and some of the order and eventually flooed to McGonagall's office, where she was sitting at her desk marking work.

"Mr Potter" said his professor sternly turning to look at him

"Professor" replied Harry

"I see you've decided to return" she said

"Yes professor" said Harry while wondering what his professor thought about him after the last few months

"Good. After break you must go to your next lesson, you cannot miss any more lessons for the rest of the term or year if you want to catch up on all the work you've missed" she said not unkindly

"Yes professor" he repeated

"You may go now" she said while waving him away "Oh and Potter, its good to see you healthy again" she added on when he was at the door.

Harry just smiled to himself and walked out.

Harry dragged all his stuff up to the Gryffindor tower, ignoring all the stares and whispering coming his way, and quickly dumped his stuff in his dorm room. He didn't have time to feel nervous or worry about coming back yet as he only had 5 minutes to get to his next lesson which happened to be potions. He quickly made his way out of the common room and started to walk down the corridor when someone shouted his name

"Harry!" shouted Hermione who just appeared from the crowd and ran to give him a hug while Ron walked over more calmly and gave him a pat on the shoulder

"I can't believe you're here!" exclaimed Hermione letting go

"I told you I was coming back" he said quietly while smiling, noticing some people around them had stopped to listen to their conversation.

Hermione noticed them too and looked at her watch

"For a while we didn't think you were actually going to come back" said Ron

"Well South America's nice but there was a lot left here" said Harry

"That's nice" said Hermione quickly "But we can catch up properly later, Snape won't be happy if your late on your first lesson back"

"Okay" replied Harry letting himself be dragged off while Ron Shouted not to start without him over the crowd.

Harry and Hermione managed to make it down to the dungeons while everyone was still waiting outside to be let into the classroom. Draco and the rest of Slytherins were standing by the stair case and didn't notice Harry until he was half way across the corridor where some of the other Gryffindor's were standing.

"Are you nervous?" asked Hermione quietly

"About this lesson with Snape or in general?" he asked as to his slight dread the potions door opened and they made their way into the classroom.

"Both" she replied

As the Slytherins piled into the classroom they all gave Harry mildly dirty looks though they all seemed too surprised at his presence to actually say anything yet.

"I haven't made my mind up yet" replied Harry honestly

They took their usual seats at the back of the room and got out their equipment while Snape writing on the board at the front of the room and ordered everyone to copy.

"How was the Psych ward at St Mungo's Potter? I heard they had to strap you down to a bed" shouted Malfoy across the classroom.

"I heard you tried to kill yourself, is that true Potter?" said Pansy Parkinson smiling while the other Slytherins continued to laugh

Harry simply gave an impassive look Slytherins and ignored them. He didn't know whether that last one was just a joke or some people did know about the not so accidental overdose. Either way, to his surprise, he found he didn't care. After all the things he's been through recently he's come to realise that people like Malfoy are just… children. It used to wind him up to hell and back that Malfoy, who was some spoilt and protected rich kid, constantly made comments about Harry's difficulties in life. But when he really thought about he knew Malfoy and a lot of the other Slytherins would get their comeuppance. Their parents are all deatheaters and as the dark side grows stronger they're going to be wound up in this war almost as much as he was and it's likely some of them won't make it.

_Ernie Macmillan had just said something back to the Slytherins on Harry's behalf and they were about to retaliate when Snape finally decided to step in_

_"Silence!" he demanded to the class "The next person to speak will lose 20 house points"_

_He looked around the classroom with his usual cold glare until he settled his sight on Harry. Harry waited for the blow, knowing it was probably going to be a bad one after the way he's acted this year. However to his complete surprise he just turned around and continued to write on the black board. For the whole lesson he didn't so much as look at him again. _

_Xxxxxx_

"Maybe it was his way of calling a truce?" suggested Hermione

"Maybe he's pretending to be nice to Harry so when he kills him he won't be the number one suspect" countered Ron while Harry laughed.

It was their lunch break and they had grabbed some food from the hall and gone to an abandoned classroom where Hermione secured the room. This was the first time they had talked properly in months and it would be less awkward to do it here rather than the great hall where everyone would be trying to listen to everything they were saying.

"We both know that's not true, maybe he's decided to be nicer because we're all the same side of this war now?" replied Hermione

"Well… I called him a c-, well you remember what I called him, he caught me taking drugs in the bathrooms and after skipping almost every detention he gave me for attacking Slytherins I sent him an apology telling him to fuck off" listed Harry out loud

"Maybe you should bring your own Pumpkin juice to meals for a while" said Ron after a few seconds thought while Hermione rolled her eyes

"Whatever" she replied "But seriously Harry, how are you feeling?"

Harry could tell she'd been dying to ask that question since he'd come back this morning.

"I feel okay" replied Harry genuinely

"What about… well-" started Hermione

"Drugs?" asked Harry

"Well… yes. Are you completely off them?" asked Hermione uncertainly, wondering whether Harry would be offended. Hermione thought that Harry definitely looked more healthy and seemed a lot less erratic but she felt like she had to ask.

"Yeah I'm off them" replied Harry

"Are you happier now you're not taking them?" asked Ron also looking uncertain. Although Ron had a general knowledge about illegal drugs the area was still very unfamiliar territory to him.

"Depends on when you ask me" said Harry lightly "But I don't _want _to take them again" carried on Harry who was about 90% sure on what he was saying. There would also be that 10% that would follow him around but he'd learnt that in some situations you just have to take things as they come.

They looked satisfied with his answer for now. He would tell them more about his issues eventually but now didn't seem like the right time.

"What did the order say when you returned? Bet they had a heart attack" said Ron

"Nearly" said Harry with a laugh "But they were worried because they think that Voldemort is thinking about trying to attack me soon"

"Why now?" asked Hermione

"He thinks I'm weak at the moment apparently" replied Harry which reminded him of the dream he had last night about Volemort

"Actually that reminds me of something. Have you ever heard of a Horcrux?" asked Harry

"No" replied Hermione frowning while Ron shrugged "What's it supposed to be?"

"Promise you won't freak out?" asked Harry

"Why?" asked Hermione frowning even more

"Just promise" replied Harry

"We both promise" said Ron interrupting Hermione

"I got a vision from Voldemort last night for the first time in ages" said Harry calmly "And one word kept popping up in his mind and that was Horcrux"

Ron flinched at the name while Hermione's face fell at the news

"Harry- " she started

"Look I know more than anyone how powerful these dreams can be, especially after last year, but it would be stupid to just sit around and ignore something like this when even the Order doesn't really know what to do next in the war" argued Harry

"So you're not going to tell anyone?" asked Hermione disapprovingly

"I hate to say it but when has telling the Order or the professors anything done any good? I'm not saying I won't tell them eventually but for now wouldn't it be better if I maked some sense of it myself first?" asked Harry

"Harry's right" said Ron after a long pause "Besides you usually figure out these kind of things faster than the professors do" he added to Hermione remembering their first year with Quirrell.

"But-" started Hermione

"The Order is no closer to getting to you know who, so why not do a bit of extra digging about? Its not like we haven't done this every year since we were eleven. Plus you'll get to spend more time in the library again" added Ron while Hermione rolled her eyes

Hermione still looked Reluctant and sighed

"Okay, what happened in this dream?" she asked with an air of concentration and Harry told them both everything he could remember.

"So these objects were in a secure room?" asked Hermione eventually and Harry nodded "When he walked through the wall to get to the room was the wall like liquid or move more rigidly, like bricks turning in a wall?"

"Liquid" replied Harry making Hermione go silent and think for a few minutes

"Do you think the dream was real?" asked Ron looking worried

"I think so but its hard to tell, his mind seemed less controlled then usual" replied Harry "Do the Order know anything at this point?"

"Over Christmas we overheard that he was staying at one of the Lestrange's old properties in Hertfordshire. They can't find it though, it's too well protected" said Ron

"But isn't that more of a muggle place? Can't they use spells that detect magic in the area?" asked Harry

"No because they have spells for that too" replied Ron simply

"Actually I've been wondering about that" interrupted Hermione thoughtfully "Harry gave me the idea when he tried to use that mobile phone. Electricity won't work in an area of magic, especially a mobile phone that requires a signal so maybe there would be some kind of muggle way to identify locations with magic there"

Ron looked lost but Harry thought it was a great idea

"So if you used something that measured areas of phone reception or something?" he asked

"Yes, sort of like that" replied Hermione deep in thought

"But first we need to find out what these Horcruxes are" she continued

"Do you think we could just ask one of the professors?" asked Ron

"It could be a bit suspicious" said Harry

"I agree, until we've found out what they are we shouldn't say anything" started Hermione getting down to business "They must be rare because I've never come across them before in any book in the library. We should start by looking in the restricted section concentrating on the dark arts and some history books" she said distractly while Harry and Ron smiled at each other. Hermione was definitely in.

"It wouldn't hurt to look more closely at the some of the Slytherin's too seeing's as most of their families are deatheaters" said Harry thinking of the polyjuice potion they made in their 2nd year to get information on the chamber of secrets "They could know something about Horcruxes"

"I could talk to Fred and George to see if they have anything useful, they've been developing a defensive magic range at the joke shop" said Ron

"Okay that sounds doable" said Hermione "But you both have to promise that as soon as we find something out, we tell Dumbledore. Agreed?"

"Of course" replied Harry

"When have we not?" said Ron at the same time

The three finished up the rest of their lunch and after a while Ron and Hermione had to leave for their next lesson while Harry had a study period. He stayed in the classroom for a while enjoying the quietness and the view it offered of the school grounds, which unlike London had been cleared from snow and the sun was shining in the cold air. He could see the Forbidden Forrest and Hagrid's hut from here. He made a mental note to go see Hagrid sometime this week as he hadn't really seen much of him this year.

Harry also thought back to what Summer had been saying back in Brazil, that he should leave this place if he hated it so much. The truth of it was he could never hate this place. Hogwarts had been his first real home and the adventures he's had and the friends he's made will always out weight all the bad stuff that has happened here. Sirius dying had to be the worst out of everything but, reluctantly, Harry has started to see that a few years of having a God farther is better than having none at all.

It was almost 2 when Harry stopped studying charms, during which he had mostly been daydreaming about what he Ron and Hermione were going to do next, and packed up his stuff. He knew he should carry on and do some more catching up, but for now, he thought it was a good time to find his invisibility cloak and start checking out the restricted section of the library. Harry knows that he has a lot to get through in the next few years, both in terms of the war and his own troubles, but for the first time in a while he felt calm and ready for the fight ahead.

Xxxxxx

The End

Xxxxxx

**A/N: **I can't describe how hard it was to end this story. I had no idea what was supposed to happen and where I should draw the line in terms of the story to do with Voldemort and the war. I decided to end it with Ron, Harry and Hermione plotting to go on another adventure and send them in the right direction by getting them to find out about Horcrux's.

I'm going to see what the feedback is like on this chapter and if its good after a few days I will list this story as completed. However I am open to maybe doing a one shot for this story that's set years later, I really don't know yet, so if you're interested just stay subscribed and I'll add it onto this story.

Please review and tell me what you think! As I'm not doing another chapter I'll reply to your reviews using PM on fanfiction so if you have any questions or anything make sure your PM is switched on.

Again thank you for reading and keeping this story alive, hope you enjoyed it :)


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